


Need You To Love Me (Nicolas Brown x Reader)

by ThatGinjahNinja



Category: Gangsta. (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Chaptered, Comfort, Dark Past, Depression, F/M, Fanfic, Hot, Katana, Lemon, Lime, Literature, Love, Nico - Freeform, OC, OCs - Freeform, Original Character - Freeform, PTSD, Panic, Reader-Insert, Romance, Sex, Sexy, Smut, Tags, Violence, benryia, fan fiction, fics, nic - Freeform, nic brown, nico brown, nicolas - Freeform, reader - Freeform, twilights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 08:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 55,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5085610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatGinjahNinja/pseuds/ThatGinjahNinja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You and Nicolas need each other more than either of you were prepared to handle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The note (not the story) may be Religious Sensitive: This piece is slightly inspired by the song "I Need You To Love Me" which is a Christian music song by the group Barlow Girl. I find that the all encompassing love that I feel for God and that he feels towards me and all of his children (no hate to you, if that's not your bag) and the many songs describing true Christian love makes for really beautiful love feels when I need to be inspired. If you get the chance, take a look at the lyrics and you'll basically see the type of deep feelings that Nicolas will be developing for dear Reader-Chan. **

_He was watching you again. He had been watching you for months. Nicolas was aware that you saw him. It wasn’t a secret he was trying to keep. If it had been, no one would ever have known exactly where his keen dark eyes were fixated. By keeping an eye on you from time to time, Nico was letting people know who they would have to fear if they chose to bother you._

_Ergastulum was filled with trash. Criminals, prostitutes, dirty cops, mafia—any type of miscreant you could imagine lived in this city. The whole reason the city existed was to keep unwanted humans away from the rest of the world. Scum of all sorts haunted back streets, waiting to take out any light that managed to squeeze its way inside. For the Twilight community, especially for Nicolas, you might as well have been the sun at midnight._

_You had heard all about Nicolas Brown and Worick Arcangelo from one of your boarders, Nina, a young nurse-in-training that worked for Dr. Theo in the most 8th District of town. It was an area heavily populated by people that didn't mind conducting business in the Restricted Zone, but Nina didn't mind going to work everyday. She enjoyed it. The way the precious child spoke of those two men told you that there was nothing to fear from them. She had only positives to say, and her sweet face lit up especially when she mentioned her dear Nico._

_Though Nina’s was not the popular opinion, you agreed that Twilights should be afforded more rights, not just in Ergastulum, but all surrounding areas. The Three Principals were not good enough. The minimum protection afforded to them made Tags little better off than when they had all been enslaved. It was a desperate desire of yours to help people see the need for equality between the different races in Ergastulum._

_Running the only inn of the city that would house their kind, you had become more than familiar with exactly the type of people these Twilights were. They had families. Some had hopes and dreams. They had compassion and honor, but they were constantly having all of those human rights stripped away from them. Tested on, drugged, forced into a life of slavery and submission, discouraged from engaging in any “human” emotion from an early age, many of them had grown up little more than dogs by the time they arrived to your inn. Strays from the Gate cities were your usual clientele. With the help of Dr. Theo and Nina, you patiently helped countless Twilights adjust to having a life without being a slave._

_The Tagged children of today didn’t fare much better. Many were the product of Twilight mothers raped by despicable “humans” (who had every legal right to use Tagged women in that way). Twilights that didn’t belong to a guild or had been forced out had nowhere else to go. They had no idea how to make a way for themselves in a world dominated by Normals who saw them as subhuman vermin._

_You often accepted these young desperate women and their children on good faith alone, not charging them a fee to stay as they found the best ways to manage the backstreets of Ergastulum. It was tedious and difficult, especially since the majority of Normals still saw them as animals and didn’t allow them inside their establishments. Convincing them that they had any ability to live on their own took every effort on your part. Though you weren't fond of the Three Principals, getting Twilights to affiliate with a Guild was really the only option once they reached a certain age, and you tried to make it seem appealing._

_It was a pull on your spirit to help them that you couldn’t deny, and that put you in an extremely dangerous position. Normals and Corsican affiliates targeted you fairly regularly because of your choice to help these lost souls. Damage to your boarding house happened almost daily. People would refuse to sell you their goods or allow you inside their stores. Jeers and threats were the nature of the beast as you walked from place to place in town._

_Admittedly, those instances had slowed considerably since the city deviants were becoming more aware that you were under Brown’s strict protection. There weren’t many who wished to challenge that particular Tagged demon._

********

 

The first time you had been physically attacked, you were walking home from Granny Joel’s with a few simple conveniences. She was one of the few merchants that would sell to you who also had cheap enough wares to buy. Still several blocks from your boarding house and not in a business district any longer, you felt slightly nervous, as if someone was following you—someone who wanted to harm you.

“That’s the one,” you heard a voice from behind you, as you passed through a narrow alleyway into an adjoining street.

Turning, you saw two men approaching you, evil glints in their eyes. You felt your heartrate increase and turned back towards where you’d been heading. Two more men were now stalking your direction, one with a piece of pipe, the other had brass knuckles. Trying to steel yourself, you turned the one direction left to you that wasn’t blocked by assailants or a wall. As you did, your (e/c) eyes widened in panic finding yet another angry man coming at you.

Voice shaking, you clutched your groceries and said, “What can I help you gentlemen with today?”

The man with the pipe sneered, “You’re that bitch with the boarding house, ain’t you?”

Dr. Theo had warned you that you would become a target if you chose to continue aiding Twilights, but this was the first time you’d actually been confronted so violently.

“Yes. Are—are you looking for some place to stay?” you asked, searching frantically for a way to escape.

One of the men behind you spit at the back of your head and replied, “Why would we stay with Tag-loving trash like you? You think we’d actually give you our hard earned money?”

The man at the side grabbed one of your wrists forcefully and twisted. You winced at the pain. Without thinking, you slung your grocery sack at the man with the pipe and flinched as dark purple exploded everywhere. The bottle of red wine you had purchased for Theo had shattered against the man’s skull and the rest of your supplies rolled around in the street.

“Fuckin’ bitch!” he yelled. “You’re gonna pay for that!” He wiped his eyes and touched his hand to the bleeding gash you had created on his head. “Sean, hold her the fuck down!”

The tallest of the men behind you grabbed a fistful of your (h/c) hair and yanked you to your knees. The pain caused tears to spill from your eyes. You thought about begging, offering them anything, but you knew these were terrible humans intent on doing terrible things. The shortest of the five assailants, one that had approached from the rear, addressed their apparent leader, “I heard she feeds ‘em and cleans ‘em and helps ‘em get work. Hell, she’d probably spread her legs for ‘em if they asked, the nasty whore. She don’t even care how Twilights kill us Normals for no reason,” The disgusting irony was not lost on you. “What are we gonna do with this sick Tag humpin' bitch, boss?”

The guy with the pipe tapped it on the ground a few times and said to his gang, “First, I’m gonna beat her. Then... we’re gonna fuck her. She looks like she could take us all." The others laughed shortly, before their leader continued. "Then you all get a turn to pound her stupid ass to the pavement. And then Graves,” he pointed to the deranged looking man holding your wrist, “he’s gonna slit your damn throat, honey.” 

All five of them laughed disturbingly as the brass knuckles’ owner grabbed your other arm and forced it behind your back. “I call firsts on this Tag-lovin’ whore,” he jeered.

Tapping his pipe against the concrete again and pointing it in your face, its owner said, “You’re about to find out exactly what happens to Tag-lovers in this town.” As he swung his pipe completely behind him and began arching it rapidly towards your face, you squeezed your eyes shut and clenched your jaw preparing for impact.

A blood-curdling scream filled the streets, and you heard the sound of metal hitting pavement. You breathed heavily, surprised the scream had not been from your own lungs. As you opened your eyes, you saw the long piece of pipe lying directly in front of you. A hand gripped it tightly without its wrist being attached to the body where it belonged.

You felt like your (e/c) eyes couldn’t take in what was happening fast enough. “Fuck!” screamed the man who had been holding the pipe, his wrist pouring blood where his hand was removed. A short ebony-haired man stood just off-center in front of you, a katana gleaming silver and dripping deep red was in his grasp.

“Tag!” shouted Graves. “Kill that bastard!” 

Turning his head to the side and taking in your four other attackers, a devilish grin graced your saviors’ face. “Hn,” he laughed shortly. As he turned to face you, one subtle swipe of his sword sent the bleeding lead attacker’s head flying. His lifeless form collapsed on the ground.

“Shit!” said one of them as he began bolting away. “It’s that Asian Tag! Fuck this!”

Dark brown eyes connected with yours and the word, “Move” clumsily left his mouth.

You weren’t sure how or when you’d been released but you immediately did as ordered and backed rapidly against the wall.

In a fury of glinting steel, spraying crimson, and heart-stopping screams, your assailants fell one by one. When five bodies littered the road around you, the impressive swordsman drug them into a neat pile in the alleyway. It had been almost effortless on the part of this skilled Twilight. He barely even seemed out of breath. Light sweat beads were on his forehead and he lifted the bottom of his black t-shirt to use as a towel, revealing a heavily sculpted torso bearing a long diagonal scar. His tags clinked quietly around his neck.

You trembled as the anxiety of what you’d just experienced smashed into you, vomiting at the thought of how close you had just come to rape and death. Wiping the back of your hand across your lips, you tried to push those men out of your mind. You were immeasurably grateful for the appearance of Nicolas Brown.

You knew it was Nicolas. You had asked Nina after you noticed that he’d been watching you. She told you everything she knew about her deaf Twilight friend and his companion Worick. You almost felt like you had already known the men, after the detailed review the young nurse had given you. “You’re really lucky, (f/n),” she said cheerfully to you one day. “If Nico is keeping an eye on you, he likes you.” She laughed at the strange expression on your face. “I bet he can see how special you are for Twilights like him.” As you sat absorbing her words that day, Nina added seriously, “I’m glad you’ll be so safe, (f/n). You couldn’t ask for a better guardian.”

Now, here stood Nicolas holding his hand down for you to get to your feet. You immediately grasped it, expecting he would pull you upward—but nothing happened. Nico had never had anyone accept his hand without hesitation. He had expected at least some pause on your part, some trace of fear over what you’d just witnessed him do. There was none. You gave him a puzzling look and finally he awkwardly removed his hand, placing it in the pocket of his green military trousers. Pursing your lips together and narrowing your brows, you accepted his odd behavior as part of what Nina had described. 

Remembering the reason you had gone to the market to begin with, you gasped. You got on your hands and knees and began crawling around the bodies, trying to salvage any of the purchases you made at Granny Joel’s that had been scattered to the ground. Money was tight and hard to come by, if you spent most of your time taking wayward Twilights on as tenants. Two tins of canned meat and a wine covered newspaper were all you had saved. Picking up some of the squashed fruits from the pavement you sat back and sighed in frustration. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes again.

The whole reason for your errand that day was now completely worthless. There were two Twilight children staying with you currently, and they had never had fresh fruit before. Their mothers had spent most of their early lives accepting cheap handouts or digging food out of waste bins. You had used your remaining funds for the month to buy these few groceries as a treat, and now bruised apples, dripping cherries, and squished oranges lay scattered around you. “Damn,” you said to no one.

Turning to collect your remaining three items, you came face to face with two of the softened oranges. Nicolas was squatting in front of you, motioning for you to take them.

“They’re squished. They’re no good now,” you said slowly, not sure how well he could read your lips.

He rolled his eyes at you and furrowed his brow. “Too slow for you?” you asked at a normal pace.

Still looking annoyed, he nodded and continued to shove the fruit in your direction. 

“Thanks, but I can’t have the first fruit those kids at home taste be this bruised junk,” you said.

You got to your feet and Nicolas rolled his eyes again and huffed in frustration. “Tch.”

As he stood, you asked, “Nicolas, right?” 

Another nod and a mumbled, “How?”

You smiled faintly and answered, “Nina.” You paused before adding, “I’m (f/n)(l/n). Thank you for this, Nicolas. All of this,” you said as you motioned to the bodies littering the street. Death and crime were nothing new in Ergastulum, and you were aware the police would handle the clean-up for this. You also knew there had been no reason for Nic to stick out his neck for you as he had. Twilights killing Normals was against the Three Principals. However, you got the feeling this imposing man in front of you played by his own set of rules. Smiling, you replied, “Really. I owe you one.”

He gave you a mischievous look that sent a shiver of excitement down your spine. Blinking the feeling away, you wished him goodbye and headed on towards your inn. Before you had made it very far, Nico appeared beside you with a large white handkerchief held like a bag, something red leaking through the fabric. Raising one eyebrow at him, he opened it slightly to allow you a peek.

You were surprised to see it contained the damaged fruit. Giving him an amused side eye, you commented, “I told you I can’t use those. Look at them!” Smiling you shook your head.

As you approached the short steps leading into your boarding house, he tugged gently on your sleeve. Turning to face him, you noticed that same mischievous smile playing on his lips. “You owe me one,” he mumbled slowly.

You smirked and stared at him in bewilderment for a minute before shaking your head and gesturing for him to follow you inside. Nicolas trailed after you as you walked through the front entry and dining area into the small kitchen where you prepared meals. Setting down your damp burgundy newspaper and food tins, you watched as Nico put the fruit filled cloth in the little sink and turned on the water to gently rinse away the dirt. 

He couldn’t possibly expect you to serve it to anyone in its current state. While the water drained over cherries, apples, and oranges, Nicolas began opening your cabinets. Finally he seemed to spot whatever it was he’d been seeking. Standing, he placed your blender in your hands and it finally dawned on you that he’d had a solution the whole time.

“Juice!” you exclaimed.

“For now,” he said as he signed the words.

“I feel like an idiot,” you laughed at him. He smiled subtly, and you marveled at how it changed his face from menacing to almost innocent. “Quick thinking. It’s a really good idea, Nicolas. It would seem I owe you another one.”

Nico held up his hands and shook his head. He leaned casually against the far wall and waited for you to fix the drinks. You smiled warmly at him and began to reach for the cleaned produce. As you grasped a large handful of cherries, the wrist you’d been restrained by earlier throbbed, and you dropped the berries onto the counter. Jerking your hand back to cradle the injury, you watched strong masculine fingers reach from behind you and gingerly support your thin but swelling wrist in his hand.

“Nico-“ you began as you spun around, “-las.” The last part of his name hung in your throat when you saw how close he now stood to you. Your pulse sped up and you felt heat spread down the back of your neck as you looked into his deep brown eyes. “It—it’s okay, Nico,” you blushed as the casual name left your lips. Nina always referred to him that way and it had slipped. “Really. I think it’s just a sprain.”

He smirked and raised you effortlessly to the countertop next to your refrigerator. “Nicolas!” you exclaimed. “What are you—“ you stopped talking as he reached inside the freezer, knowing he could no longer see your lips. As he shut the door, his hands held a bag of frozen vegetables. He placed it over your injury as he continued gently supporting it from below. You winced at the sudden icy bag on your skin. As his eyes returned to your (e/c) ones, you whispered, “I really don’t think this is necessary. You’ve helped too much as it is.” 

He shook his head slowly as he carefully chose the words, “You help too much.”

Blushing again, you knew for certain now that he had protected you and guarded you these past few weeks out of gratitude for how you treated his kind. You felt your chest swell at his gesture and wished for the right words to tell him that you didn’t need ‘payment’ for caring after Twilights. You didn't deserve that at all after what you'd done in your life. His gaze on you was intense, and you felt light-headed as a fluttering sensation filled your abdomen. You weren’t sure how to break the stare until you heard your front door open. You looked up towards the dining room. 

“I’m home!” came a familiar young woman’s voice. “Is anyone here? (f/n)?” she called.

“We’re in the kitchen, Nina!” you shouted. Still cradling your wrist, Nico turned to watch her enter.

“Did you say ‘we?’” she asked as she pushed the door open. “Nico!” she exclaimed excitedly. He released you as she flung her arms around the imposing man as if he were a cuddly plush bear. He turned to her further and gripped her nose between his thumb and forefinger.

“Not again!” she shouted. “Nico! Let go, Nico!” You couldn’t help but smile at the playful pair. Noticing you on the counter, frozen bag on your arm, Nina cried, “(f/n)! What’s happened?”

“It’s fine,” you started once more, but the child nurse wasn’t paying attention as Nic was signing his own answer to her. It seemed to be a much longer explanation than you would have offered a child, even if she was a nurse-in-training.

“Oh?” she started as she signed back. “It does sound like a sprain. Good work on the ice, Nico! I’m impressed.”

He threatened to grab her nose again after her patronizing comment, and she flinched away. Reaching in the bag that hung from her shoulder, she pulled out a stretch bandage and checked your injury. “It’s definitely a sprain,” Nina said as she began to wrap it carefully. “What a day you’ve had, (f/n)! Those men should have known better than to treat a lady that way! Didn’t I tell you it was lucky Nico was keeping an eye on you?”

You felt the hot blush race to your cheeks again and flicked your eyes to Nicolas. “Yes,” you admitted, “very lucky.” Though you knew he had not heard Nina or seen her lips, you swore there was a pink tinge on Nic’s own cheeks as your eyes met his again. He looked away and then walked out of the kitchen. 

As Nina finished up, you heard your two Twilight children boarders shout “Nicolas!” excitedly and grinned to yourself. They shouted to their Tagged friend, “Miss (l/n) promised us fruit, Nico! Real red apples and juicy cherries!” You frowned, feeling that you were about to disappoint the pair. After a short silence, you heard one of them shout excitedly, “Fresh squeezed juice!? No way!” You felt your grin widen once more as you realized Nico must be making quite a deal of the unexpected change of plans.

Nina excused herself to join the others. While the children played with Nico, you finished making the fruits into a deliciously tart juice and poured it into glasses for everyone. There wasn’t quite enough for you to have a glass but you didn’t mind that in the least. Loading them onto a serving tray and lifting it carefully with your uninjured hand, you balanced them all as you backed through the kitchen door and walked out to the front steps.

The children were laughing as Nicolas chased them rapidly around the streets. The two Tagged children were exceedingly fast, and it was quite an amusing site. The joy they felt from being near this man transferred itself to you, and you couldn’t contain the smile as you watched him genuinely entertain these kids. 

Nico spotted you standing with the tray and quickly strode over to you, taking it so you wouldn’t have to balance the weight. He cleared his throat loudly and all of his playmates dropped what they were doing and rushed to get their special treats.

You handed the three children their glasses which they greedily gulped down with excitement. The Twilight boys' mouths were dripping with the pulpy remnants from the bottom of their glasses and they rubbed themselves clean with the backs of their hands. The previously homeless children looked enthralled at the flavors they had just experienced. The expressions on their faces were more than thanks enough, but they offered you words of gratitude anyway. Then Nina began trying to teach them a new game they could all play. 

Nico tried to offer you the last glass and you refused. He tried again, seeming set on not taking no for an answer. It was too much of him. He was being far too nice to someone like you. You pushed the glass against his chest and held it there. The pair of you looked stunned by your forceful movement but neither of you moved.

“Please,” you requested softly. “Please accept it, Nico.”

“Tch,” he huffed as he pulled the glass from your hand and drained it. You smiled faintly as he used his forearm to wipe clean his upper lip, the same as the children had done. 

“Thank you,” you mouthed.

A few minutes later, Nicolas wished everyone goodbye and headed off towards his home signing to Nina that Worick was probably angry that he’d been out so long today. You watched him go and then returned to your nightly duties of making dinner for your guests and tending to their needs before bed. As night fell and you relaxed alone in the sitting room, you found yourself unable to concentrate on the book in your hands.

Your mind kept drifting to the terrifying men that had tried to harm you, but more than that, you focused on a certain handsome Asian Twilight with the body of a god and a heart seemingly twice as great. Trying desperately to push a man like that out of your head, you heard a light knock at the front door.

Pulling it open, you saw no one but felt the familiar sensation that eyes were following you. Looking down at your stoop, you saw a huge box filled to capacity with melons, apples, oranges, bananas, and berries of almost every kind. Your (e/c) eyes glistened with thankfulness in the moonlight and you mouthed “Thank you, Nicolas,” up into the darkness. You knew you would never be able to get him out of your head now. _**To Be Continued...**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nic, just quit being so damn cute and tortured and mysterious and badass all the freaking time. No? You don't want to? Well, fine. We forgive you.
> 
> Link to part one: [Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322) 
> 
> And the next parts:  
> [Part 3](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557529341)   
> [Part 4](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557683025)   
> [Part 5](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557827025)   
> [Part 6](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/558165893)   
> [Part 7](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/558672711)   
> [Part 8](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/558940654)   
> [Part 9](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/559545071) 
> 
> Comments are always greatly appreciated! Hope you enjoy! ^_^
> 
>  
> 
> *Cover art is from the uber talented [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com)   
> [Just You And Me](http://mangsney.deviantart.com/art/Just-You-And-Me-556727518)

_Walking back to the house he shared with Worick, hands deep in his green pockets, Nicolas wondered if there was something more he could do to earn your favor. Saving you from a group of thugs was a start, but Nico wanted a more Normal gesture. He rubbed his calloused fingers together trying to find the softness he had felt from your skin, but the sensation was gone._

_The way you kept creeping into his mind like that was frustrating him. Normal human emotions made him uneasy—and afraid. More than a decade of his own father beating the fact that Nicolas was just a wild animal… only born to serve a master as a weapon at any cause, only born to belong as some human’s property… had made Nic’s normalcy difficult. Despite having spent far more years with Worick now than he had with his father, those vital early lessons were hard to shake. No matter how hard his partner tried, underneath it all, Nicolas Brown still belonged to Wallace Arcangelo. If Worick gave the word, Nic’s humanity would be forgotten and he would kill anyone, **anyone** , in the way like the mindless machine he knew he truly was. Just as his father had said._

_Still, he couldn’t help the smile that crept on his face as he walked past one of the city’s large fruit stands. Nicolas didn’t stop. There was no point when he knew the merchant wouldn’t accept money from him. It didn’t matter. Certain his friend would agree, he would ask Worick to help him repay your kindness when he reached home._

********

Nico had never been more curious about someone or something in his whole life. Since the first time Nic had heard about you from Dr. Theo and Nina, he realized that he would _have_ to know more about you than he’d been told. A Normal that helped Twilights was strange enough in his experience, but one that let Tags live in her home? It seemed completely ridiculous, even to Nicolas. Any number of things could go wrong in a situation like that. He had to know what kind of game you were playing. What could you possibly get out of this? He had to know. He _needed_ to know. When Nicolas became fixated on something, he was like a dog with a bone. His curiosity wouldn’t be satisfied until he had an answer.

He began to watch you one afternoon after making sure Nina made it to the boarding house safely. As Nina waved goodbye, Nic waited just out of site on a nearby rooftop, hoping to at least catch a glimpse of this strange person he’d been hearing about. He first saw you sitting on your stoop, watching some kids play and sipping a cup of coffee. When you spotted Nina walking up, you stood and gave the little nurse a warm welcoming hug.

” _How was your day, beautiful?”_ his eyes saw you ask, and he smirked as you reached up and briefly pinched her nose. It was something he would have done, though admittedly he would have been a great deal rougher with his taunting. Nina was much too kind and _much_ too fun to tease. He saw Nina hold her nose and begin scolding you. As you hugged her again, you laughed.

Nicolas felt frozen. It was impossible not to notice how beautiful you were. The kindness shining from your (e/c) eyes was spellbinding. The way you put your hand up in mock surrender to Nina and then placed it in your (h/c) hair drew Nic in even further. His eyes were unable to look away as he focused on how your lips parted as you laughed with his young friend. Nico spent most of his life focusing on other’s lips, but yours suddenly made him feel something he rarely felt.

It made him especially uncomfortable.

“Tch,” he huffed before leaving his perch and heading back to Benriya.

He decided not to tell Worick what he’d been up to just yet and spent the evening watching his partner spin an animated version of his day. As Nicolas finally headed to bed that night, his usual thoughts of his lifetime of bloody misdeeds seemed far away. The only thing he could focus on was you.

=====

Later that week, he decided to return and see what other pieces he could solve of your puzzle. Nic watched you with great admiration that day, while the morning’s events unfolded before him. He sat impressed as you ignored the passerby shooting you dirty looks or rude gestures, seeming completely unfazed. He tensed when a group of teenage Normals began shouting and one of them threw something at your head. If it hadn’t been such a terrible throw, Nico might have met you in person that day. Instead, you dodged it easily and it rolled off down the street.

Nic grinned as you stood and he watched you say, “Get out of here, you little shits, before I start cutting off your fingers and mailing ‘em home to your mothers.” It was clear to Nicolas that it was a completely hollow threat, but it had been more than convincing enough for the teens.

One of them said, “I told you she was nuts! She’s gone as crazy as the Tags!” and they all scattered.

Walking to pick up the object they had thrown at you, you bent and grabbed a plastic soda bottle from the street.

Nicolas saw them before you did, but as you stood again, you noticed a young emaciated woman and a filthy little boy. Their tags hung obviously around their necks. They stared at you and at the soda bottle you had just retrieved.

“Is this what you want?” you asked. The woman shook her head furiously, afraid she would be accused of trying to steal it from you. The little boy nodded with just as much vigor, until his young mother pushed the back of his head to stop him.

You held the bottle to the boy and he looked up at his mother to confirm it was alright. She shook her head again and he looked crushed.

“Good call,” you said to the pair of them. “This one will probably explode, after all.” You turned briefly, but then turned back to them. “I have plenty of other drinks I’d be happy to share, if you want. Food, too.”

“Can we?” asked the little boy, but his mother stood still, unsure of how to respond to the gesture. It might have been a prank for all she knew… or a trap.

“Just…” you started, “Just wait here for a minute.” Taking a step away, you immediately thought to turn back. “Just—please, wait, ok? Please.”

You hurried inside your little boarding house and Nic thought for a moment that the Twilights would bolt. Instead, the mother had been just as surprised as Nicolas that a Normal had asked “please” of a couple of dogs. She took a few unsure steps toward the stoop.

You quickly reappeared with a plate of bakery-fresh sticky buns and two of Nic's favorite bottles of water. You held out the drinks and the boy asked permission again. This time his mother gave a tiny nod and he rushed forward. Nicolas frowned as you lifted the bottle out of his reach, but he quickly understood the long angle you were working.

“Wait!” you said. “I can’t share my food with just any strangers off the street. I’m afraid you’ll have to tell me your names if you want one of these,” you gestured to the delicious looking buns.

Nothing happened.

“I’ll start. I’m (f/n)(l/n) and I run this boarding house.” Then Nico imagined your voice would be quiet as you added, “Now it’s your turn.”

Still nothing.

“Look,” you began, “when people want to make new friends, they introduce themselves. Are you people or aren’t you?” The young woman looked stunned as you added, while gesturing between you, “People like us have to stick together in this town, right?”

Again, Nicolas felt his chest tighten as he watched you. It was true. Nina had told him that you thought of Twilights as equals but now he saw for himself that it was true. He knew the little family must be very confused, but he felt himself secretly rooting for them to move forward.

You sat down on the stoop again, making yourself appear less intimidating for any wild animal, and waited patiently. Nic couldn’t see what names they gave you, but he could see your lips form that captivating smile again and you motioned them to join you. Nicolas wanted to sit on that spot forever and watch as you spoke warmly, with no alternative motive, to two of his own kind. As he realized he was focusing intently on your lips once more, he tore himself away.

This time he could barely contain himself as he explained to Worick what he had seen. Worick watched him with an amused grin and when Nico finished his tale, Worick added cheekily, “Whoa, calm down there, Romeo. Get you, fawning over some hot little piece! I thought I was Benriya’s resident pervert, Nicolas.”

 _Of course he would_. Nicolas growled at Arcangelo and gave him a stony glare, which only caused Worick to laugh more. Nico absolutely hated when Worick teased him about women. Nic grabbed the drink out of his friend’s hand and poured its icy contents down the blonde’s head.

“Oi! Come on, Nico!” he exclaimed. “I was just joking. I thought you loved my jokes, partner,” he teased, knowing his old servant most certainly did not.

After giving Worick a very rude gesture, Nicolas left for downstairs and collapsed on his bed.

He thought, while he waited for sleep, that maybe it would be ok to introduce himself like Worick would…well, not exactly like the experienced gigolo Worick would—but like a person. He thought maybe he might shake your hand or—whatever it is Normals do to say hello. He thought about your mouth again, and he was irritated as uninvited thoughts flashed of him kissing those soft pink lips.

Feeling embarrassed and uneasy, Nico left his room for the night and went in search of a fight. Anything to get his frame of mind back to hunting dog, where it belonged.

=====

By the next time he decided to spy and see how you were getting on, Nicolas had convinced himself that you were too good to be true. At that point, he saw you as infallible and it made it easier for him to separate himself as a whole different breed. Thinking of you as superior instead of the same was comfortable to Nico. It was familiar and it helped him feel like ever kissing you would be the unwelcome advances of a wild animal. After three decades of this mindset, this was where Nic felt at ease, healthy for him or not.

As he stood on the rooftop again that day, hands in his black dress slacks, sword on his hip, his plans of thinking of you as a perfect lady with poise and grace—a Normal he could not relate to if he tried, went completely out the window.

You were trying to repair some damage that had been caused to your inn, and it wasn’t going well. The front door had been knocked loose from its hinges, scorch marks across its base that led to the wall. There was a large hole in the wall where the bell had been that you had already patched with a smear of plaster. The sign of your business was laying on the ground, having been forced from its rightful place above the door.

Nicolas felt a twinge of guilt as he watched you struggle to get the sign up a ladder and replace it, but helping you like that was not his place. Neither Benriya was in the habit of taking on free clients; and he knew Worick would have an absolute fit if Nic broke that understanding now. This was how they had managed to get by, alone in Ergastulum, since they were 13 years old. They _had_ to have clients to survive and to make themselves useful to the families in town. If word got out they no longer charged for odd jobs, it would upset their whole lifestyle.

They still charged even Theo, and he had been willing to help the wayward boys since they arrived in Ergastulum battered and bruised those many years ago. It didn’t matter if you were the rare type of Normal who would have invited Nico inside to sit at your table. It _couldn’t_ matter.

Of course, it _did_ matter. To any Twilight, someone like _you_ mattered.

Nico gritted his teeth together and winced as you fell from the ladder. You hadn’t been very high, but Nic felt guilty knowing he could have easily prevented that bump in the first place.

From his angle on the roof, he could see you shout, “Shit!” as you teetered on the third rung and lost your balance. You hit the ground and the sign followed. Coming down hard on the stoop, a large section of the wooden sign broke off.

Nicolas watched you sit for a moment with your knees bent, looking defeated and then he saw the rage bubble up in your eyes. “Shit!” you screamed at nothing. “Fuck this town!” You grabbed the remnants of the sign and threw it forcefully across the street. It crashed into another building and broke into more segments. Still shouting, you unloaded frustration on all surrounding objects. You kicked the ladder off the stoop, slammed at the door harshly until it came completely free of its hinges, and kicked the open can of paint spattering its contents on the concrete and across your building’s face. Nico’s own fist clenched, his dishonor for not acting gnawing at him, as he watched you repeatedly punch into the fresh wall repair you had made.  
  


At the same time, his devious side felt briefly thrilled to see you so enraged.  
  
When you looked at the mess you had made, you laughed somewhat hysterically and then tears welled up in your (e/c) eyes. You sunk to the stoop and began sobbing as the weight of your outcast position in Ergastulum crashed around your shoulders. Nicolas hadn’t caused it but he still felt ashamed as he watched you unraveling, too overwhelmed to deal with all of the Anti-Twilight bullshit in this city.

“Damn it!” you shouted angrily and cried while you continued yelling at the staring Normals that passed by. They flinched or crossed the street looking at you like you certainly had been corrupted into a wild animal by associating with Tags. It made your tears flow faster. It made Nicolas forget his place, and he moved to help you clean up the mess.

Before he made it out of the rooftops, Nic saw the little boy from the previous week and a new Tagged friend (that Nicolas was familiar with from the streets) emerge from your inn. One placed a hand on your shoulder and you reached up to grab it, taking comfort in the little boy’s touch. The boy from earlier in the week, already looking cleaner and healthier, sat next to you on the steps. He didn’t say anything. He just moved close enough that his side was leaned against yours, offering comforting contact between friends.

Again, Nicolas was left feeling like he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t understand what he was seeing. Not only were the Tags still there at your inn, it seemed you were caring for them and had so earned the boys’ trust that they were willing to let their guard down for a Normal woman. They were willing to place hands on you gently without fear of punishment. The children were willing to forget there was a stark difference between the peoples of Ergastulum.

Nic wanted to move forward but he was frozen by his confusion. He stood tensely, trying to talk himself into some sort of action. Nico saw Nina approach, home from working the clinic. He was sure Nina would use her kind nature to offer you comfort he never could, so he stayed put a moment longer. Nina sat on your other side and held on to the free hand, giving it a squeeze and a little pat.

Leaning her head against your shoulder, Nic saw the sweet nurse say, “Let’s clean all of this up together. You have too much to do today, you know? You can’t give up now, (f/n).” You nodded, assuring her that you would be fine in a minute.

As Nicolas looked at your kind face one more time, he thought to himself, “ _Please don’t give up._ ”

Jumping across the building tops towards his home, Nic didn’t realize that was the first day you had noticed him watching…

 

 

**_To Be Continued…_ **


	3. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slo-ow build! Slo-ow build! (and if you sing that they way they sing "Normal view!" in Mystery Science Theater 3000 the movie, you've earned 12000 frivolity points)
> 
> What are you hiding, Reader-chan?
> 
> Here are the links to the other parts:  
> [Need You To Love Me (Nico x Reader) Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322)   
> [Need You To Love Me (Nico x Reader) Part 2](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556936375) 
> 
>  
> 
> *Cover art is from the uber talented [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com)   
> [Just You And Me](http://mangsney.deviantart.com/art/Just-You-And-Me-556727518)

_Becoming friends with the Handymen had been one of the most exciting adventures you had experienced, and in Ergastulum that was truly saying something. The fact that you had met Nicolas in the middle of an assault had been thrilling enough on its own, but it was only made more so by the stories Nina and Theo would tell you of his latest exploits with his partner Worick. The two seemed like quite an odd pair and you were interested in seeing their dynamic together in person._

_A few months after the attack, you had become well acquainted with both of them and would often bring them meals or serve them dinner at the boarding house or Theo’s clinic. You were even becoming used to the push and pull that Nic put you through as you tried to gain his faith. Initially, it seemed impossible to stay in the Twilight’s good favor for long, but soon you realized it wasn’t that he didn’t trust you, but something else entirely. You weren't willing to give up trying, but it was something you weren’t sure anyone would ever be able to drag out of him._

_While maintaining friendship with Nicolas proved to be difficult, it was the complete opposite with Nic’s contract holder. Worick was nothing if not personable, even if you_ had _tried to smash his head in during your first meeting. The first time you met Worick, it was the complete opposite of meeting Nicolas. Nina had asked the Benriya to come fix the plumbing in the upstairs bathroom of the boarding house despite your protests. You had no extra money for repairs and were trying to manage it yourself. Tired of waiting, poor Nina had offered Benriya her own money to finish the odd job for you. However, it proved extremely inconvenient that she had completely neglected to tell you._

********

You returned from Granny Joel’s to find your door standing wide open. Thinking to yourself that you would have to scold your tenants later, you walked up to your bedroom to drop off your bag. Sitting on the edge of your bed and taking off your shoes, you heard a loud noise coming from the bathroom at the far end of the long hallway. Your (e/c) eyes widened for a second as you strained to hear whether or not you had imagined it. 

Nothing.

Standing to head downstairs again, you heard a man’s voice shouting a stream of profanities. The first thought that came to you was that Anti-Twilights had broken in to destroy your establishment _or_ harm your boarders. Either way, you weren't going to allow it. There was no weapon that you could think to use in your bedroom, so you made due with a nice heavy object instead. Grabbing the thick ceramic lamp off of your nightstand, you quietly opened your door and began creeping down the hall towards the sound.

“Damn it, Nina! I oughta beat you for this!” came the irritated voice.

Anger swelled in you. No one was going to touch the kind-hearted little nurse as long as blood coursed through your veins. You steeled yourself and clutched the lamp tighter. Reaching the door, the man mumbled, “How do we let you talk us into these things?” but you hadn’t heard. Your adrenaline was pumping and you slammed the lamp into the intruder’s head, shattering it everywhere.

“What the hell?!” roared the voice.

You backed up rapidly until you ran into another body in the hall. Screaming, you turned in fear, recognizing as you did that the form you were against was Nicolas.

“Nic!” you shouted up at his face. He looked extremely startled by what was happening. “Someone’s in there!” you yelped as you moved behind him and peered over his shoulder.

Nico turned around and smirked at you while shaking his head. Grabbing you by the wrist, he began dragging you back to the bathroom.

“Nic! Stop! What are you doing?” you shouted as you pulled against him and squeezed your eyes shut.

He moved you in front of him so you couldn’t exit the small space and put a hand on your chin, turning your gaze firmly towards the floor. The word that fell out of Nico’s mouth made you freeze.

“Worick,” he said and your eyes flew open to see what you had done.

There on your bathroom tile, amidst the broken ceramic and a scattered tool kit, sat a man with long blonde hair clutching his bleeding forehead. You turned your head quickly to Nicolas and scrunched your face in shame.

“Worick?” you asked, just to be sure. You winced as Nic nodded, and he laughed at your embarrassment.

Turning slowly, shoulders raised like a child about to be scolded, you crouched down in front of your victim.

“Hi, darling,” he groaned, still managing a charming smile as blood trickled through his thick fingers.

Quietly you answered, “Hi.” Your guilty (e/c) eyes fixed on his face as you tried to survey his injury.

“So—“ he said, “Nina forgot to tell you she hired us?”

You nodded, face growing more crimson by the second. You stood quickly and opened the small vanity mirror above the sink, pulling out your first aid supplies. You shot a nervous look at Nicolas, embarrassed that you had just attacked his partner. Nic didn’t seem concerned about it in the least. Instead he looked thoroughly entertained.

Wetting a cloth and getting back on your knees in front of the injured Handyman, you began apologizing profusely as you moved his fingers to clean the wound. Luckily, it wasn’t that deep and just bleeding profusely because of its location on his forehead. Worick grimaced and sucked air in through his teeth as you used a cotton ball with alcohol to disinfect.

“I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry,” you continued. “I thought you were attacking Nina! I’m so sorry!”

He chuckled softly and waved it off as you placed a butterfly bandage over the wound. “I’m fine,” he assured you. “I’ve had much, much worse.” He grabbed you by the hand and fixated his one blue eye on you, the other was concealed with a patch. You knew his words were true and that he hadn't said it just to placate you. The man had clearly experienced much worse.

His stare was gorgeous and entrancing, and you realized you had been staying in this position much too long before pulling your fingers from his grasp and standing up. He stood as well and offered his hand, saying “You must be the famous (f/n).” You extended for a handshake, but Worick kissed the back of fingers instead.

Nodding you asked if Nina had told him your name. “No,” he admitted. “Nico’s been talking about you for weeks. I think he has a crush.”

Your cheeks tinged pink, and you whipped your head around to Nicolas who was leaning against the bathroom wall with his eyes closed. As far as you could tell, he hadn’t been paying attention to what Worick said, so you decided to just pretend it never happened. “I’m not sure I could believe a tale as tall as that,” you told Worick honestly.

“Oh? Do I really look like a man that could spin such charming lies?” he asked seductively. That smile of his could have fooled anyone —man, woman, or beast.

You tried to suppress a grin, knowing full well that was exactly the type of man he was. Shaking your head in admonishment, you said, “I’m sorry again. I guess I'll let you get back to it.”

From what you had heard about Worick, you were surprised that you had made it out of the bathroom without having him grope you. You shook your head again in amusement. Poking Nic playfully while exiting and sticking your tongue out childishly as you exited, you started down the hall. You pulled your (h/c) hair out of the way and went to the kitchen to begin the evening meal for your boarders. You hoped there was enough in the cabinets to limp along until the next time you were paid. You scolded yourself for not being more firm with your tenants. Opening the cabinets, you gasped at finding them fully stocked. Checking the fridge, you found it was full, as well. You had more food at that moment than you had ever even seen in your inn. There was only one explanation and you couldn’t accept.

Hurrying back to the upstairs bathroom, you poked Nico in the forehead making him open his eyes to look at you.

“What is _that_?” you asked, pointing forcefully in the direction of your kitchen.

He continued looking bored and signed as Worick said, “What is what?”

“Don’t play dumb, Nic! Where did all of that food come from in the kitchen? You know I can’t pay you for that! I can’t even pay you for this!” you shouted in frustration while pointing to the sink.

More signing as Worick relayed his words, “Nina’s paying for the plumbing—and the food isn’t for free. It’s your payment to us for all the work I’ve been doing around here.”

You glared at him, pursing your lips together, and then turned the glare to Worick, who shrugged innocently. 

“You can’t fill someone _else’s_ pantry and call that payment! I can’t accept that,” you continued.

He rolled his eyes at you. “Tch.” Shaking his head, he continued to sign with the help of his interpreter.

“You can if you expect that someone to cook your meals for the next month.”

You stood stunned before Nic, completely at a loss for how to respond. “I—you want— me to cook for you?” your voice was soft as you tried to find a way to decline, feeling this was much too easy a form of payment for what you'd been provided, but you quickly learned he was prepared in advance for your counterarguments.

“And you can't neglect your tenants while you pay for our services; it's bad business. Just make what you would feed them with enough left over for the two of us. You can drop it off or give it to Nina.” It was Worick again who spoke but you stared at Nicolas and imagined it in a voice all his own. Your stomach knotted like he always managed to accomplish, and you wished it really had been just you and him standing there.

When you didn’t respond right away, Nic clicked his tongue again and walked out of the bathroom, leaving you there stunned at his generous act. It was more than clear that he had done this for your benefit as well as the Twilight boarders staying at your inn. Your chest was tight and you were dying to come up with something appropriate to say, but you continued standing frozen in place.

Worick broke your thoughts by commenting, “It’s true, ya know? Neither one of us cooks. Fresh meals aren’t something we’ve had much of since we were kids. It really will be a nice treat for us. Besides, the two of us eat like beasts, so don't think it's going to be an easy chore keeping us fed.” You turned to look at his kind face and somehow it put you at ease. However, his serious tone and expression made you sad for the men having grown up on their own, and even more curious about his and Nico’s intertwined pasts. You nodded slightly as you moved aside his blonde bangs to gingerly touch his skin near the gash you had made. You sighed and felt a connection between the pair of you. Whether your reasons were out of pure intent or not, both of you had become aids to the hurt souls of this town, especially the Tags who needed Normal allies most of all. You knew that better than anyone. Blinking yourself out of a painful memory, you smiled at the face in front of you. 

“Alright. It’s a deal. Dinners for a month. --and I’m sorry, again, Worick,” you said softly.

He flashed you that dangerous smile and changed his tone completely as he teased, “Of course, you could always feed Nicolas and find some other way to pay _me_.”

Feeling a hand grasping your ass, you grimaced and shoved him forcefully, knocking him off balance and landing him in the bathtub with a hard thud.

He chuckled and groaned as he winked and said, “Only joking, (nickname)-chan!”

“Pervert!” you exclaimed and went downstairs to start dinner.

It felt amazing to be able to cook a full meal for the families staying with you and not be worried that there would be nothing but scraps left to make for the next day. Nico stood in the kitchen with you, stealing tastes when you would turn around and earning himself smacks to the hand. He would glare at you and defiantly steal the bite he had intended anyway. Every. Single. Time. Followed by sticking his tongue out. You were trying hard not to laugh and not encourage him, but you were failing miserably.

By the time Nina and the other tenants were home and washed for dinner, Worick had completely fixed the broken pipes upstairs and everything was running smoothly again. You sat back and enjoyed as you watched your delighted guests wolf down the meal you had carefully prepared. Happy to send the small Twilight families to bed full for a change, Nina and Worick insisted you take a break outside while they cleared the table.

You stood on your stoop in the crisp night air, leaning forward against the stair railing and feeling content. When Nicolas came to join you, you turned to face him so he would be able to see your lips as you spoke. He was much too generous with you and you knew it was because of how you treated his people. Again, you spared a brief painful memory of your past and shivered a little as it haunted you.

“You have to quit doing this, Nico. I’ll never be able to repay you as it is,” you said in a guilty voice.

He shook his head and you continued, “Really, Nic! Making you dinner from food _you_ bought isn’t enough for what you’ve done for me. Please let me do something else.”

“Like what?” he muttered.

You shrugged and narrowed your eyebrows as you replied, “You should have heard how Worick suggested I pay him.”

Nicolas rolled his dark eyes and then cut them inside briefly, sending his partner a dangerous glance. “Tch.”

You thought for a minute and finally said, “I want to be able to understand you. I’ll make _all_ meals for Benriya for the whole month, **_if_ ** you will teach me to sign.”

Nic’s eyes widened and he seemed suddenly uncomfortable. “No,” he shook his head.

“Why not?” you asked, (e/c) eyes searching his for a good enough answer.

“What for?” he mumbled as he placed his thumb to your lip briefly, reminding you he could read them just fine.

“But doesn’t that get tedious, Nico? Isn't it easier for you not being forced into the guess work?” His expression grew more stunned by the minute as you explained, “Most of the time, I have to hear Nina or Theo or today…Worick speak your words to me. I want to hear _your voice_ ,” you said as you grasped both of his hands and held them up. “I want to hear _your_ words, _your way_.”

You weren’t sure what to make of Nic's expression. He searched you as if you might possibly start laughing and tell him you were kidding. Still gripping his hands in front of him, you added, “I don’t want anyone else to have to tell me what it is you want to say to me. Please, Nicolas.”

He still didn’t move, though his face now appeared somewhat pained. You asked once more. “Please? I’ll work really hard.” Nico looked curious as you finished, “I’m _not_ whatever Twilight savior you think I am. I don’t deserve what you’ve done for me, Nic. Please let me do this. I _need_ you to let me do this…”

Taking a minute to gather his thoughts, again he rolled his eyes and clicked out his familiar, “Tch,” before nodding his head.

“Yes?” you questioned eagerly.

Another nod.

“Yes!” you cheered triumphantly, and without thinking, you flung your arms around his broad shoulders for an excited hug.

Nicolas pushed you back from him rapidly and backed away. The two of you stared a minute before your hurt voice said, “Nicolas. I didn’t mean to—I’m sorr…” but he had already left you standing there and was back inside with the others.

Releasing a frustrated sigh, you kicked the wall beside the door and then joined Nina and the Handymen in your sitting room. Worick lit a cigarette while he complimented you on an excellent meal adding, “Don’t you think it was good, Nic?” You looked at the floor as Nic shrugged his shoulders and refused eye contact.

Nina elbowed him hard, and scolded fiercely, “Don’t be so rude to (f/n), Nico! She worked hard on that meal and you know it was great!”

Nico narrowed his stern glare at the sweet little nurse and she immediately shot both of her hands up to guard her nose. Nic stood, without looking at anyone else, and left out the front door. You felt almost like crying that your touch had seemed to offend him so. Nina sat with her mouth open, staring after the stubborn Twilight. “He is in so much trouble when I tell Dr. Theo how rude he was!” she muttered.

Worick stood, cigarette still hanging from his lip. “Well, I guess that means we’re going now, huh?” He placed a kiss on the top of Nina’s hair and both of you wished her goodnight as she headed off to her bedroom.

Walking Worick outside, you were a little surprised to see Nic still waiting on his partner by the bottom of your stoop. As you and Worick walked past, Arcangelo signed something to his friend with an extremely frustrated look on his face and Nicolas cut his eyes to you before closing them again. You were still feeling like you had done some immense wrong to a man you had grown so fond of, and your anxiety over it was struggling to stay in check.

Worick turned to face you and thanked you again for the delicious meal.

“And thank _you_ for the great plumbing job! Sorry again about bashing you in the head with my lamp,” you said, touching your fingers delicately to the spot.

He smiled as he added, “No problem. I probably would have done the same thing if I found a devious man in my bathroom.”

You narrowed your eyes and he laughed before opening his arms to pull you into a warm hug. His grip felt so comforting and it calmed you considerably. _So different_ you thought about the two men. As he stood hugging you, Worick couldn’t resist suggestively commenting, “Let me know if I can help you with any _other_ kind of plumbing, know what I mean?”

You smacked him in the back of his head and he laughed at you once more. “Coming, Nic?”

Nicolas signed to his partner and again you felt at a disadvantage having to wait to find out what was being said, _if_ they told you at all, that is.

“Oh?” asked Worick, his voice seemingly surprised. Worick shrugged and turned back to you. “I don’t know what he means, but he says he’s sorry. You just startled him before, but if you will forgive his rudeness, he’d like to try again…” Worick raised an eyebrow as he added, “Aaannd…I think I’ll go ahead without you, Nicolas." He waved, placed hands in his pockets, and walked off down the alley, whistling quietly to himself.

Nicolas eyed you cautiously from the bottom of your stoop as he waited for your response. You kept your (e/c) eyes locked with Nic’s while you walked in front of the man over whom you had slowly become infatuated. You raised an eyebrow and he read your lips as you quietly asked, “ _I_ startled _you_?”

He shrugged and brushed his fingers through his messy black bangs. Looking at you guiltily, he signed slowly as he said, “Sorry.”

You nodded and your heart began racing faster as he took your hands for a moment and deliberately moved them the same motion his had just finished. “Sorry,” he repeated.

You smiled a soft smile and made the sign by yourself. He nodded, and your grin grew as a smile of his own tugged the corner of his mouth.

“You don’t have to do this,” he spoke aloud.

“Neither do you,” but the last word had barely left your lips before Nic’s arms had wrapped you tenderly against him. You clutched tightly at his defined back and shoulders, laying your face on the crook of his neck. The familiar flutter he caused filled you as you breathed in the scent of his intoxicating cologne. Nicolas pulled you in tighter and placed his cheek to your soft (h/c) tresses. You heard him take his own deep breath and both of your heartbeats sped a moment before he relaxed in your arms.

You weren’t sure if you had ever experienced anything as intimate as Nic’s embrace, and the two of you stood in the darkened street, losing all track of how long your arms held onto that feeling. **_To Be Continued..._**


	4. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 4
> 
> Nicolas can't get his father's abuse out of his head. Somebody hug that poor guy...let's go, Reader-chan!
> 
> Here are the links to the previous parts:  
> [ Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322)   
> [ Part 2](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556936375)   
> [ Part 3](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557529341) 
> 
> *Cover art is from the uber talented [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com)   
> [Just You And Me](http://mangsney.deviantart.com/art/Just-You-And-Me-556727518)

_Nicolas had overdosed. Again. Worst of all, as he took the fight outside Theo’s clinic too far, he spotted you standing in the alleyway looking completely terrified. The second he had spared in your direction had been the distraction Worick needed to inject Nic with his downers, and the frenzied Tag passed out on the concrete._

_He wasn’t sure which were real or which were hallucinations, but over the next several hours Nicolas saw you again numerous times. Once you were staring down at him, face still frozen in fear, as Nina and the doctor patched his many wounds. The look on your face hurt worse than any of the injuries on his body._

_Another time Nic saw you sitting next to him with a cool rag, wiping away the sweat that continuously beaded on his brow as he came down from his high. Your (e/c) eyes still looked saddened and Nicolas began feeling immense guilt that you had seen him this way. He never intended to show you what a vicious beast you really had as your guard dog. He had hoped to play tame just a little longer._

_When he woke again, you stood before him and told Nic that you never wanted to catch him near you or Nina again; that Tags like him were the reason all Twilights had a bad name; and that if he came around the boarding house again, you would personally hire someone from the Guild to take care of him._

_“You’re disgusting, Nicolas! You lied to me! You're nothing but a monster,” your lips sneered before you stormed out of the clinic, slamming the door and causing pills and papers to fall from the walls._

_“(F/n)! Wait!” he shouted._

_Nico shot up in bed and blinked several times looking at the door he had just seen you exit. It was closed, but nothing was out of place. The room was calm and he felt a little hand gripping his large trembling one. Looking to his side, he saw Nina._

_She tried to smile comfortingly as she said, “You’re ok, Nico. The worst part is over. You’re fine now.”_

_Nic wanted to ask if any of the times he had seen you that day had been real, but he would never let anyone know exactly how much time you filled his thoughts now. Instead, he huffed a long frustrated sigh and lay back down, trying to focus on anything else but your face._

********

The day you had met Worick was also probably one of Nic’s favorite with you so far. He had been stocking the pantry downstairs when he got the feeling that you had come home. Looking around the first floor, he didn’t see you so he went upstairs and saw you disappear into the bathroom with something in your hand. Walking to the end of the hall, Nicolas was startled as you backed into him so rapidly.

The following exchange had amused Nicolas thoroughly. Worick always deserved a good knock in the head, as far as Nic was concerned. And your flustered face and behavior was something he found tremendously endearing. He watched entertained until he saw Worick mention how often Nic had talked about you recently.

“ _Fucking prick!_ ” he quickly signed, before crossing his arms and closing his eyes, pretending to have missed the whole thing. Nicolas found being able to completely disappear in his own thoughts the most comfortable place there was for him to hide. After a few seconds, he chanced cracking his eyes and watched as Worick turned on that signature charm.

_Damn him!_ thought Nicolas. _He makes it look so easy_. It wasn’t something that normally bothered Nic, but you made him wish he could be just a little more socially capable. He closed his eyes again and imagined for the hundredth time that he had just walked up to you like a Normal person and introduced himself the way his confident partner was doing without pause.

Nic was irritated with himself until you passed by him and stuck your tongue out. Treating him like a friend was something he couldn't get over. It made him happy and he felt you offered him too much mercy. When you came back upstairs after discovering all of the food the Handymen had brought, Nicolas had been prepared. He knew you would argue and try to decline. He wanted to tell you to just shut up and take it as a gift—that the things he’d heard and witnessed you do were worth so much more to him than a pantry full of stupid groceries. That would have been much too embarrassing…for both of you. Nic felt you would agree if he just masked it as a job, and though it took convincing, he was glad to see he guessed correctly.

Standing around as you cooked had become something Nicolas looked forward to regularly. You or Nina had invited him several times in the last few weeks to join in meals at the boarding house. Teasing you had become almost as fun for Nicolas as teasing Nina. The difference was that he felt completely varying emotions when it involved you. A whole gamut assaulted him in a mere matter of minutes, and it continued to overwhelm and confuse him. One second he felt playful, like a child, as he stole tastes of the food; then heat rushed through him and he felt desires stir as you grabbed or smacked lightheartedly at his hands, trying to frown at him but (e/c) eyes smiling brightly; after that Nic would feel angry with himself for enjoying something so silly, pretending he was something that he wasn’t…and wanting so badly to be with a Normal woman that could never possibly accept the things he’d done. 

Finally, once he’d been through that whole array of emotions, Nicolas would feel immense guilt. He was ashamed that he had made contact with you at all. He felt the guilt gnaw at him when he tried to push away memories of his evil misdeeds. Most of all, Nicolas felt ashamed that you were beginning to think of him as a friend, and he couldn’t allow that to keep going. He didn’t deserve that with the life he'd lived. And Nic knew you _certainly_ didn’t deserve a friend as horrible as he. Still, it was proving difficult for him to pull totally away from you.

Nicolas felt his heart breaking as you asked him to teach you sign language. Obviously he had carried on pretending to be Normal with you for far too long. He didn’t want you to forget that he was just a beast. That was a dangerous place for anyone-- but you made that lie feel so good…so real.

It _was_ tiring to read lips all the time. Many of the letter sounds had very little difference in shape of mouth, and he really did spend the majority of his days guessing from context clues what the sentences had been. The fact that you had pointed that out to him, when only Worick had done so before, tugged him closer to your side. Nico doubted there could be anything in your past to compare with the bloodbaths he had caused, but that admission that you weren't the good girl he thought didn’t make you less appealing. It made him feel closer to you still.

“I _need_ you to let me do this…” As you said those words, it was over for him. How could he deny you, of all people, such a simple request? Nicolas didn’t care for a moment that the two of you needed to get as far from each other as possible. He forgot his urge to retreat emotionally before it was too late for him to leave you behind at all.

Your arms flinging around him startled him from his ridiculous dream, and he pushed you back from him instead of clinging to you as he wanted. His dark eyes stared at you intently, trying to take in your face one more time before coming to the decision to make this the last night he came by. As your hurt expression began making him long to ignore his familiar instincts, he quickly retreated back to the safety of Worick and Nina.

Nicolas was furious. He couldn’t believe he had made such a mistake and let it get this far with you. He shouldn't have allowed himself to feel for you...worry for you...think of you when he was alone. The shame of it made him want to hide. He was sure nothing would have happened for you besides wanting his friendship, (even someone as kind to Twilights as you wouldn't want to touch one like a real human) but Nic had let himself be fooled into thinking there was a Normal life for him someplace, with you. It pissed him off. Nico wanted to yell at you for doing this to him. He wanted to shout that you had to stop invading his mind, as if you were waltzing in there intentionally. He was pissed that you seemed so damn perfect in his eyes. He wanted to place the blame anywhere, but he knew it lay on his shoulders.

Need to lash out growing stronger, Nicolas angrily left the sitting room and waited outside, where it was cooler, for Worick to get the hint. Then they could get out of there. He felt guilty again that he hadn’t even said goodbye to Nina or thanked you for the meal. It really had been delicious, but there was no way to tell you that without falling for you more. Nico knew the compliment would cause that damn gorgeous smile to fall on your lips.

There were two kinds of relationships in Nic’s past; the kind where he was controlled and the kind where he was abandoned, and he was terribly afraid of causing both of those to happen again. Nicolas wasn’t afraid of anything else, not even death itself. In fact, he still actively sought his death as often as he could get away with it. Yet, Worick always managed to bring him down from overdoses and refused to just let Nicolas give up.

And why would he after what Nicolas had done to his family? Worick was another relationship where ultimately Nic was controlled. Because Wallace Arcangelo was still Nico’s contract holder, whatever Worick demanded, Nic was obligated to obey. There was no other option unless one of them died, and Nic would have been a terrible excuse for a Tag if he let Worick die before he did. Even if there was a friendship between the two men, Worick was the one with the control, and all Nicolas could really do was wait. Nic felt he had to hope for the day someone finally killed him or hope for the death of his only friend in this life, if there was any chance of release to be found.

That was enough pressure in itself. Leaning against the railing of your boarding house, Nic didn’t even bother broaching memories of his father just then. He stood with his eyes closed, trying to hide in the silent darkness from his deeply entrenched issues.

When he felt you and Worick walk out onto the stoop, he cracked his eyes to watch.

As his partner walked past, Nico eyed him as Worick glared back and signed, “ _Quit being an asshole!_ ”

Nicolas flicked his eyes to you briefly and felt ashamed as he caught sight of your pained expression. He knew he was the reason for your anxiety that night. Watching as you talked easily with Worick, Nic came back to the present and reminded himself that you _weren’t_ Worick and you certainly **_weren’t_** his father. It wasn’t fair for him to put those experiences on your shoulders.

It was difficult but he focused on the fact that a hug didn’t mean Nic had given you control of him. He reminded himself that _you_ had been the one to hug him first. _You_ had wanted the hug, and you were unlikely to abandon Nico just for putting his arms around you. He took a breath and continued reminding himself that he didn’t have to be afraid of every moment of intimacy in his life. That was his father still controlling him even now, and he was not going to allow it tonight.

His heart ached at the sight of Worick so effortlessly pulling you in for an embrace. From time to time, Nicolas felt jealous that Worick’s fear of real intimacy manifested itself so differently from his own, but he had never felt that more strongly than in that moment. Watching the tall, handsome blonde that every woman in Ergastulum wanted to bed comforting you, because of how Nic had behaved, was too much.

When the two of you were left alone at last, and Nicolas had you in his arms he wasn’t sure he could hang on to you for long. His heartrate was out of control with nervous energy, and he waited for the moment he was sure you would move away. Your arms continued lingering around him snugly, and your breath was light and steady against Nic’s shoulder. He accepted for a moment that you really had wanted him to do this. You weren’t trying to be nice; it wasn’t only the heat of the moment; and it definitely wasn’t to get him to do something else for you, because he had already made it clear that all you needed to do was ask.

It was one of the few times in Nic’s life that touch had actually soothed him instead of frightening him, and he didn’t plan on letting go until you did. Relaxing into you, he took a deep breath of the now familiar scent of your beautiful (h/c) hair and settled in to support the embrace as long as you were willing to allow.

After a long while, you looked up at him and he watched your lips say, “You’re still holding me, Nicolas.”

He smirked and said lowly, “Then let go.”

“Nn-nn,” he guessed you had muttered while shaking your head. “This was _your_ hug. _You_ have to decide when to let go.”

His ears burned hot and his stomach knotted as he gripped you tighter still. You were giving _him_ the control. He didn’t _have_ to do what anyone else told him to do, and he was free to hold you as long as he wanted. That was exactly what Nicolas was going to do. If it was up to him, this moment would never quit. Knowing that he still desired to have you in his arms, he pulled you next to him as he sat on the stoop and leaned you comfortably against his chest. 

Nicolas savored the fact that there wasn’t a hint of irritation on your part. You seemed as content as he was to stay like this all night, if Nic so allowed it. After another long while together, Nicolas felt so comfortable that he placed a soft kiss to the top of your hair. You didn’t pull away but you looked up quickly, (e/c) eyes wide with surprise.

That was it. Nicolas immediately felt his fear and discomfort return and he released you instantly, heading off down the back alley without even turning around. He was too embarrassed to see what look of admonishment you were surely giving him, and he quickened his pace a bit until he made it back to Benriya.

Nico had no intention of sharing his intimate moment with his nosy contract holder, but as he opened the door to the bottom of the building they shared, he smelled the nicotine and saw a blonde eyebrow raised high in amusement.

“ _You stayed out an awfully long time, Nic. Surely ‘Mr. Clean’ isn’t out corrupting young women in the dark_ ,” came Worick’s signs as he stared at Nicolas cheekily.

“ _Shut up, asshole!_ ” Nic signed in return. “ _Why are you even in my half of the building?_ ”

Worick pouted and signed, “ _Come on, Nico! You never have any good stories for me! How can you expect me not to force this one out of you?_ ”

Nicolas sat down in the chair opposite his partner and shook his head.

“Nico!” By the placement of his mouth, even the deaf Twilight knew Worick had whined out his name. “ _You didn’t tell me (f/c) was so sexy, Nicolas. Trying to keep me away from her?_ ” he signed while looking at his friend tauntingly.

Nic gave Worick his favorite rude gesture and signed, “ _What do I care?_ ”

The tall blonde narrowed his eyes at his short Asian friend. “Really?” he asked without signing, knowing Nicolas found it irritating. “That’s interesting. I was sure you were finally warming to someone again…but since I was mistaken…I guess you wouldn’t mind me taking on a new client.”

Nic scoffed at the bluff. He signed, “ _Sure. Try it with that one, and see how that goes over._ ” He knew you would never pay for Worick’s services. The idea was ridiculous.

Worick signed, “ _True_.” He considered a moment and then narrowed his eyes at Nicolas once more as he signed, “ _Then again, some women are worth not charging. If you’re not interested then there’s no harm in me charming her out of her lingerie, right?_ ”

Nic flinched and tried not to show any true feelings to his contract holder. As always, the intimacy of sharing things of this nature made him uncomfortable. “ _Do whatever you want,_ _Worick,_ ” he signed.

He stood to walk out of the room but the irritation was just too much for him. Turning around, he said aloud, “But when you finish…” he walked slowly in front of his partner and jerked out his sword, stabbing it through the chair only centimeters from Worick’s lap, “…I’ll take off your moneymaker.”

“Hn,” he laughed as he grinned that devilish grin.

Worick’s blue eye was wide as he held both hands over his pants until Nico removed the blade and sheathed it once more. “Nicolas!” he shouted. “This chair was expensive! You owe us a new one!”

It was clear to both men that there was no real issue between them, but Nic rolled his eyes, stuck out his tongue, and left for his bedroom. Nicolas missed completely that Worick was shaking with laughter over being able to rile his Tag shield up so thoroughly.

As he fell asleep that night, Nic’s dreams were disturbed my memories of his father’s beatings, Nic’s desperate attempts to behave like a good son, and the hateful look on his father’s face when he left him standing on the Arcangelo estate. “Don’t try and act human, monster!” His Normal father’s parting words continued beating unbearably through Nic’s mind.

Nicolas sat up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. He couldn't escape. Twenty-one years since he had last seen his mercenary father and he still couldn't escape his tormenting. Nic couldn't accept that he was human. His father had made that abundantly clear. There was nothing that Normals enjoyed that a Tag like Nicolas deserved. He was disgusting. He was subhuman. He was a monster. He determined, with great sorrow, that the best way to escape more of these unwelcome nightmares would be to keep far away from you for a while and avoid triggering himself with the intimate companionship Nic needed from you so desperately.

 

 

 

**_To Be Continued…_ **


	5. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its ok, dear Reader. The Handymen know all about dealing with shitty parents. Nicolas will know what to do ^_^
> 
> Links to earlier parts:  
> [Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322)   
> [Part 2](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556936375)   
> [Part 3](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557529341)   
> [Part 4](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557683025) 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> *Cover art is from the uber talented [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com)   
> [Just You And Me](http://mangsney.deviantart.com/art/Just-You-And-Me-556727518)

_You didn’t know that the little girl you had been playing with was a Tag. It hadn’t occurred to you, at only seven years old, to worry about something like that in South Gate. You were just a child who had made a nice friend without realizing that she was one of several Twilight slaves owned by your parents. The two of you would spend hours playing in your backyard while your parents were away for business. The two of them were often gone, but, as far as you had seen, your parents had always treated the Twilights in your home like employees, and you thought the sweet little brunette, called Lettie was just the daughter of someone working for your father._

_“Do it now, sweetie,” encouraged your mother. You couldn’t move, completely frozen in fear and unsure of what your parents expected you to do with the gun in your tiny hand. Despite having just watched your father use the very same gun to kill every Twilight in your home… never mind that he handed the gun to you while he pointed it at your friend… you still stood too shocked to understand what exactly it was they were asking of you._

_“It’s okay, (f/n). She won’t even feel it. She’s an animal. Just look at her,” your mother tried convincing you._

_You did look at her. Your friend was terrified. Every member of her family, every person she knew, had just been callously shot in a line until she was the only Tag that remained. Lettie’s big brown eyes pleaded with you to help her, even as your dad forced your hand to press the gun barrel to her forehead._

_“No!” you shouted. “She’s not an animal! She’s just a girl!” You spun around to face your parents and said firmly, “She’s my friend!”_

_There was a loud pop that echoed through the foyer as your mother slapped you hard across the face. You stared at her in disbelief._

_“Idiot child!” she spat._

_Your father spoke to her and said, “I told you not to hide our abuses in the first place. Now look what it’s done. She thinks they’re Normal.”_

_Your mind raced as your mother continued, “(F/n), you have to know that these Tags aren’t regular humans. They are cruel monsters who will kill anyone if ordered by their contract holder. If we order this little thing to shoot you now, she wouldn’t even hesitate.”_

_You looked at Lettie again and both of you could barely breathe._

_“The riots are getting worse,” your father said. “The people in the four cities don't want to send anymore Tags into Ergastulum. That place is rampant with the trash. There's no place for these beasts now that the wars are over. People in the cities and even in Ergastulum itself are sick of the Three Principals. It's disgusting that the Four Families let Tags act like they belong on this earth.”_

_“We have the greatest number of Tag slaves of any family in South Gate, (f/n),” your mother responded. “Well,_ had _the greatest number. It’s up to us to make an example, to show that we know these are beasts that don’t deserve protections from any human law. They're mindless addicts. Relic weapons of war that ended years ago!”_

_“Papa!” you pleaded. “She’s just a little girl, like me! Don’t make me hurt her.”_

_Your father boxed the side of your head and you felt a little pop and something trickle from your ear. Touching your finger to the wetness, you were horrified to discover it was blood._

_You began to sob uncontrollably._

_“Get it together, (f/n)!” scolded your mother. “Show us you can be on the right side of this or I’ll show you that this Tag is not capable of human emotions.”_

_Trembling, you choked out, “What are you saying?”_

_Your father forcefully held you in front of Lettie, lifting the heavy gun again to her head. You watched in terror as your mother took her own gun and handed it to your friend. She didn’t seem concerned in the least that Lettie might turn it on her._

_“Lettie, count to 10, and then shoot my foolish daughter,” came your mother’s cold voice._

_Lettie shook furiously, but lifted the gun to your shoulder. Her eyes were still begging you to help her._

_“No, idiot! Not there,” came the hateful woman’s voice. She moved Lettie’s hand to point the gun at your face. “Here.”_

_You snapped your head between both of these cruel people holding you in this deadly situation. You no longer saw parents, only monsters… true and evil monsters._

_As you stared at their cold eyes, you heard Lettie’s voice softly begin, “1…2…”_

_Jerking your face back to her, both of you aiming weapons, you shook your head as she continued counting. “Lettie, don’t do this! Let’s get out of here! You have a gun! We can go!”_

_But Lettie didn’t belong to you. You weren’t the one who held her contract and it didn’t matter if she would have rather left with you or if she loved you like her own sister. Tears streamed from her eyes, “…5…6…”_

_Both of you trembled and you watched her struggle to slow her counting down but she could barely even manage that. Her big eyes seemed to beg you to do anything to end this suffering. Everything had been taken from her in an instant, and the only option she was left with was to die or to kill you. She was frightened. She was a child. That didn’t matter anymore once her instincts to obey took over. Her friendly brown eyes became vacant beads as she dissociated herself from what she had been ordered to do._

_“If you think you can tame these wild animals, (f/n), you’re gonna end up dead,” said your father._

_“…8…9…t--”_

_“NO!” you screamed as you closed your eyes and squeezed the trigger._

_The sound of Lettie’s body thudding to the floor was something that you would never get out of your head._

********

The nightmares were getting worse. You were beginning to zone out during the day, trapped in the horrible memory, reliving it again and again.

It was time for you to visit Dr. Theo again, and not for a personal call. Your prescription was no longer cutting it. Time to try something else.

As you approached the clinic, you heard sounds of loud fighting. You rounded the corner to see Nina and Theo standing against the clinic. Theo looked completely unimpressed, as usual. Nina was shouting to “Stop him,” and then you spotted Worick trying to find some way to get closer without getting hit by his Tag.

You froze, (e/c) eyes taking in the sight of Nicolas holding a man to the ground and viciously punching him over and over and over. The victim’s tags rattled every time Nic landed another bone crunching hit. You began shaking in fear as blood continued to splatter everywhere. You were afraid for Nicolas. His eyes were vacant, he wasn’t there, and he was most certainly out of control. You wondered if he was feeling as out of control as Lettie had when your mother asked her to kill you.

Nic looked up briefly and saw you standing there, eyeing the whole scene. His eyes widened guiltily and then drooped completely closed as Worick injected the downer into his thigh.

When he fell to the ground, Worick sat next to him panting. “Stupid bastard,” he said before lifting Nico over his shoulder to carry him inside. Nina readied a table for Nicolas, and Worick slumped his battered body into a chair as he headed back outside. You walked next to the Tag lying limp on the ground and tried to make out a face in the bloody mess.

“(Nickname)-chan,” came Worick’s smooth voice, “You shouldn’t be here. Why don’t you go back home?”

“Did-- did Nic kill him?” you asked weakly.

“No. Whole damn Guild would be after him. Nic thinks I'll let him off that easy?" Worick muttered mysteriously. He pulled his hair up into a loose ponytail. "Can't keep him out of the damn pills. Stubborn prick,” huffed the exhausted looking blonde as he lifted the man over his shoulder like he had done with Nicolas.

“Will Paulklee come after Nico anyway?” you questioned. You had plenty of experience with Twilights that weren’t Guild members, and you felt panicked as you thought of the punishment they may have in store for your friend.

Worick turned to look at you with surprise. That had not been the response he would have expected. “You really are something else, you know that?”

You frowned as your eyes pleaded with him for a real answer.

He sighed, “No. This guy was hired to get Theo, and Theo hired Nic. That’s how it’s supposed to work.” He paused before adding, “But that bastard in there can’t help trying to kill himself every damn time.” He angrily pointed to the clinic. “He does this shit on purpose! I’ve never _once_ been able to stop him from taking too many.” Worick clenched his free fist at his side, closed his eye, and gritted his teeth together.

You stepped closer and grabbed his fist in both of your hands, uncurling the fingers, and reminding him to calm down. Briefly, you thought how strange it must look from the outside-- the kind gesture, with Worick holding a badly beaten man over his other shoulder. “You did stop him, Worick.” He looked away. “You did! Nic’s in there right now because of what you did for him. How many other times have you brought him back from the brink of a seizure? ‘ Given him that injection before his heart gave out on the uppers?”

Worick stared at you hard until slowly his gaze relaxed and he nodded, giving your hand a little squeeze. You smiled gently and moved his bangs out of his face before patting him lightly on the cheek.

“I see what this is,” Worick said. “You’re trying to get in my pants, (Nickname)-chan, and it’s working like a charm.” He raised his eyebrows several times in a row and you scoffed and smacked the back of his head.

“Quit being such a moron!” you scolded. 

Worick laughed quietly, before adding, “I have to take this guy back to the Guild. Why don’t you sit with Nicolas until he’s out of the woods? He could use a calming person like you today.”

You frowned slightly, feeling like you were far from the right person for this task. “Nina’s in there.”

“I know, but I want it to be you, (f/n),” he said seriously. “Nic _needs_ it to be you.” His blue eye watched anxiously for you to agree.

“I—Nina’s great at this stuff—he won’t even know I’m—Nic doesn’t need any—“ you stumbled to find an acceptable excuse. You sighed in frustration as Worick continued staring, waiting for you to give in. “Fine! I don’t see how I’ll be of any more help than his nurse would be,” you grumbled.

“That’s because you really are something else, (Nickname)-chan,” Worick said in his most charming voice. He winked and walked off with the Tag still slung over his shoulder, leaving you standing in the street and feeling terribly confused.

Walking into the clinic, you stood just out of the way at the bedside as Theo and Nina treated the many injuries covering Nico. A few were quite deep, and when the doctor began to stitch the last place closed, Nic’s eyes flew open and he looked at you. It lasted only a few seconds before he passed out from the pain again.

When all of the wounds had all been taken care of, Dr. Theo moved a rolling stool next to the bed and motioned for you to sit down. You tried to decline but Theo insisted, saying, “Nina has other work to do. She can’t waste her time with this idiot. It's not her fault he always gets carried away." Looking at Nicolas with a vague expression of concern, he muttered, "Still, he shouldn’t be by himself— in case something goes wrong.”

You stared down at Nico’s sleeping form and tried to control the urge to touch him.

“Do I need to call someone else to do it, (f/n)?” Theo asked.

Without looking at him, you shook your head and took a seat on the stool, lifting Nic’s large hand into yours. Sleeping like he was, he looked almost pitiful. There was something about his face that was so much softer and beautiful and you couldn’t resist carefully running your fingers down his jawline. 

Nina brought you a cool rag and you began tenderly wiping Nico’s brow as needed. As he came down from his high, he began to sweat profusely and writhe as he finally began feeling the pain of what he’d done to himself. He would groan and you would squeeze his hand tightly until it stopped. When Nicolas would relax again, you would continue wiping away the fresh beads of sweat.

At one point he opened his eyes and his gaze made your stomach clench with deep seated panic. He stared at you, dark eyes full of guilt; full of regret that you had seen him; full of humiliation and fear. His eyes looked at you as Lettie’s had, making you feel that he was begging for death. His eyes closed again, and you choked out a loud sob as you turned away.

Your hands were shaking. Your mind was racing. You couldn’t breathe. Putting your face in your hands as you tried to contain the swelling panic, you began crying, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Lettie, I’m sorry!” You weren’t even sure how long it was before you felt Nina’s little hand grip yours and pull you to her. She placed her chin on your head and stroked your (h/c) hair in a calming manner as she whispered, “Shh…(f/n), it’s okay. Open your eyes. You’re at the clinic, see? It’s okay.”

Nina would make one hell of a nurse or a doctor to best them all, one day.

As you opened your eyes, Theo was in front of you. Two fingers gripped your wrist while the doctor checked your heart rate. When he was satisfied that it was slowing, he asked, “Is that why you came here today, (f/n)? It’s getting out of hand again?”

You nodded fiercely and Theo assured you, “We’ll see what we can do, huh? Just go home and rest, and I’ll have Nina bring you a new prescription this evening. Ok?” You shook your head again and stood slowly, still feeling a bit weak in the knees. You looked at Nicolas and he looked peaceful once more. He looked like Nic, not at all like your childhood friend that you’d been forced to murder. Still trembling, you made your way home and lay in your darkened room until Nina returned.

You knew it would be a few weeks until this new medication would actually be effective. This was always the hardest. You tried valiantly to manage the boarding house as if everything were fine, but in the privacy of your room things were falling apart. You began isolating yourself more every day. The sight of your tenants only increased your shame. You would fix things for them in advance so as not to cross their paths. After three weeks of hiding, especially from Twilights, you decided it was too overwhelming and that you needed Theo to do something.

Calling his office returned no answer. You looked around the inn and found that no one was home, so you decided to walk to the clinic. It was overcast, but it warm and breezy so you threw on your most comfortable outfit and walked to see Dr. Theo.

You tried hard not to think about your parents or your friend or the several agonizing years that followed that day, but the medicine still wasn’t working. Your hands began to shake as your anxiety increased. You repeated nonsense thoughts to yourself to keep your brain occupied with something meaningless. By the time you got to the clinic, you were having another anxiety attack. Knocking hard at the door, you began to feel the actual panic swell as no one answered. Nina and Theo must be on a house call.

You needed someone. You needed someone right now to talk you down from this before it felt like you were dying of a heart attack. Granny Joel’s was so close to the clinic. If you hurried, maybe she would help. The clouds grew darker and burst open as you neared the shop. Quickly you became drenched in the downpour. You ran a little to make it under the awning and were crestfallen to find the metal barrier on the window pulled down and the red “Closed” sign hanging there.

“Shit!” you said to yourself. “It’s Monday!” Granny Joel always took Sundays and Mondays as her off days, but in your panic you had not even known what day of the week it was.

You were soaked and cold and panicked. It felt like your lungs were folding in on themselves…like your heart might pound hard enough to burst through the wall of your chest. As you started to hyperventilate, you felt devastating desire to get to someone for help.

You didn’t want to go to the next closest building you were familiar with, but you were running out of choices. You prayed Worick would be there. He was excellent at calming people down and his stare hadn’t sent you into an attack like this the last time you had seen him. 

“Please don’t let it be Nic!” you thought to yourself as you neared their door. “Please don’t be Nic, don’t be Nic, don’t be Nic,” your voice cracked as you repeated the phrase through your tears.

You pounded hard against the door making it shake from the force. You were trembling so hard at this point, from both the panic and your cold drenched clothing, that you weren’t sure how long you could remain standing. Your breathing was rapid and dangerously close to out of control. The door flung open and you took a large, shaky breath as you saw exactly the man you needed to see.

Wild (e/c) eyes met his as you begged, “Nicolas, help me!” 

 

 

**_To Be Continued…_ **


	6. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAHH!   
> This song just gave me all the squee feels over this part of my own fic! The first part particularly (and then the rest works too if it pertains to Nico instead of Reader. ^_^)  
> Lol
> 
> [](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://youtu.be/uH9yOEAylKg)[youtu.be/uH9yOEAylKg](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://youtu.be/uH9yOEAylKg)  
> This is What it Takes -Sean Mendes  
> (they deleted the first video I posted apparently)
> 
> Listen if you want.
> 
> Just a heads up, after the next part, the story will begin including parts from the show/manga so it may contain spoilers at some point. I will mark it clearly when it does. I think that the end of the season will line up to the end of available chapters, though, so that's good.
> 
> Way to make Nicolas relax, Reader-chan!
> 
> As always, comments with your thoughts are super crazy appreciated. ^__^
> 
> Links to the other parts:  
> [Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322)   
> [Part 2](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556936375)   
> [Part 3](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557529341)   
> [Part 4](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557683025)   
> [Part 5](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557827025) 
> 
>  
> 
> *Cover art is from the uber talented [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com/)   
> [Just You And Me](http://mangsney.deviantart.com/art/Just-You-And-Me-556727518)

WAHH!   
This song just gave me all the squee feels over this part of my own fic! The first part particularly (and then the rest works too if it pertains to Nico instead of Reader. ^_^)  
Lol

[youtu.be/uH9yOEAylKg](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://youtu.be/uH9yOEAylKg)  
This is What it Takes -Sean Mendes  
(they deleted the first video I posted apparently)

_More Twilights had been turning up dead with no explanation. At the police station one afternoon, Worick asked their contact Chad Adkins what he thought. Chad told them that there wasn’t enough evidence yet to confirm anything. He looked concerned and Worick pressed again. Chad took his partner Cody Balfour, Worick, and Nicolas into another room where he told them that things were starting to become too familiar to the Anti-Twilight hunts of 15 years ago._

_He told them not to get too worked up about it yet, as he didn’t have any proof that this wasn’t just a small group of angry Normals. Afterwards, he reminded the two Handymen to be careful, nevertheless. Nic closed his eyes. Though he would never let Chad know it, he was grateful for the care the old detective had for the pair of troublemakers._

_If Twilights were in danger then the Normals that associated with them were in danger as well. As if they didn’t have enough to do, Worick had just taken in another stray. Alex Benedetto would be just another troublesome thing that Nic would have to keep an eye on when Worick wasn’t paying attention. Alex, Nina, Theo, You—Nic wouldn’t let anyone harm these people. Nicolas knew he would have to be extra vigilant of friends of Benriya…especially you._

_If Normals wanted to attack Tags, it was well-known that you housed them at your inn, and that you worked to help them reintegrate into society. That would certainly put you in greater danger. Of course, it was also well-known by then that the District 8 Tag was protecting the boarding house. He hoped that would be enough to keep the hunters at bay._

********

It was late afternoon, and Nic was trying to finish a workout when he noticed his door moving as someone forcefully pounded against it.

“Nicolas, help me!” he saw your trembling lips form before you clutched tightly to the front of his sweat soaked shirt. Your whole body was shaking and your breath was coming out in uncontrollable gasps. It was pouring and you were drenched from head to foot.

Nic grabbed your face in his hands to tilt you up to him. Your eyes were squeezed shut so he mumbled out the words, “What happened?”

You just continued desperately gasping for air. He was searching frantically for an injury but saw none. Nico took a few steps back with you still clinging to his shirt and shut the door. “(F/n), are you hurt?” Nic asked. You shook your head, still not daring to look at him. “Let me get you something dry…” he added as he tried to fetch you a towel.

“No!” you shouted at him. “Don’t leave me here! I can’t—I can’t breathe, Nicolas! I can’t stop! Help me, please!” your face tightened as you fell apart completely. You didn’t seem to have control of yourself and though he couldn’t hear you, Nic knew your body was being wracked by loud sobbing.

Nicolas hadn’t known until now that you suffered a panic disorder, but he recognized a full blown panic attack when he saw one. He held you tightly as he slid his back down the door, lowering the both of you to the floor of the room. Still shivering, Nic tried to warm you by rubbing his hands up and down your arms. He gave you a few moments longer to sob before he said, “Look at me.”

You were curled in a ball towards him and your face was against his chest as you shook your head rapidly. Nic grabbed your shoulders firmly and put his forehead to yours, “Look at me, (f/n)!” He waited there until you opened your (e/c) eyes, rimmed red from crying. 

As you looked, he used your shoulders to sit you back from him a short distance and held up his hands.

“ _Look at my hands,”_ he signed. You nodded, willing to try anything to bring yourself back to reality. “ _What are you doing here?_ ” his hands formed.

“I-I can’t st-stop…” Nico put two of his calloused fingers to your lips to stop you talking. He touched the backs of your hands before continuing.

“ _Use the signs. You can’t stutter like that.”_

You frowned but he gave you an almost imperceptible smile of encouragement. 

“ _You worked hard. Use the signs._ ”

His chest felt tight as he waited to see if you would take his advice. He knew if he could just make you focus on a different way of thinking for a few minutes, your anxiety would drop. Nicolas felt immense relief as you began signing.

“ _I can’t stop panicking. I can’t breathe. I’m scared, Nic_.”

Your movements were clumsy, but they were distinct enough that he could tell what you had meant.

It was his turn, ” _It’s ok. Look at you. Your breathing is already slowing down. Keep focusing.”_

You took a full steady breath and released it gradually. “ _I don’t want to go home. I’m too ashamed to face them._ ”

Nicolas looked at you solemnly hoping he could make sense of your words without having to ask. He didn’t want to chance triggering you again so he just signed, “ _Want to tell me why_?”

You shook your head at him and he felt his stomach knot as you signed, “ _Nothing would make me more ashamed._ ” Nic didn’t think there could be anything in your past that you would have to hide from him because of guilt. He was uneasy with the conversation, but he knew not to press someone trapped in that anxious spiral of self-loathing. You would never get above the surface if he kept pushing your head back down into your fears.

Nico nodded slowly motioning, “ _Fair enough,_ ” and reached forward to run his thumb and forefinger down a section of your still soaked (h/c) locks. Then he signed, “ _Now can I get you something dry?_ ”

You nodded and smiled weakly. Standing Nic reached his hand down to you, and you accepted his help to your feet. He tried to walk towards his bedroom but you refused to let go of his hand.Pulling his hand free and facing you, Nic signed, “ _I’m just getting it from the bedroom.”_

“Don’t leave me by myself,” you begged him, (e/c) eyes still tinged with fear.

“ _It is right there_ ,” he pointed.

You shook your head. Clearly, you were afraid that any moment alone would sink you right back into your dark thoughts.

Steeling his own nerves for you, Nicolas tenderly laced his fingers with yours in a way that pulled your forearms together, and he led you to his bedroom. You stood waiting in the dim light as he pulled a black, cotton long-sleeve shirt from a drawer and tossed it to you. 

Nic tugged off his own damp shirt and tossed it in a hamper before turning around to allow you the chance to change. He felt a heat shiver up his spine as your wet top flew past him and landed on the hamper and his hands trembled slightly as your soaked pants joined the pile. After a few seconds, he felt your soft touch graze his bare back and steadying himself, he turned to face you.

You held your arms out wide and offered another weak smile. “ _How ridiculous do I look?_ ” you signed.

Nicolas found it exceedingly difficult not to blush. Though he wasn’t a tall man, he was broad and his shirt was big enough that the sleeves came to the bases of your fingers and the length of it fell just barely to your mid-thigh. Your legs were incredible, and his tongue felt thick in his mouth as he tried not to stare at the shortness of his shirt on your frame. Nic was very thankful in that moment that he wasn’t expected to speak. 

Instead, he signed, “ _Very ridiculous_ ,” and pinched your nose. You swatted his hand away and glared at him and he was relieved to see that your eyes were returning to their normal calmed state.

“Can I stay awhile?” you questioned.

Nicolas nodded, but felt regretful of his decision as you turned to head to his chair. His gaze was drawn immediately to how much shorter his shirt fell in the back than the front. It hardly covered your rear, and Nic felt incredibly uncomfortable as he found himself wishing for just one extra inch off the fabric.

Through the bedroom door, he walked past you to get out of the direct sightline of his desires. Nicolas took a seat in the newest armchair (the one Worick had made him replace) and waited for you to sit across the room in the other. Instead you moved the coffee table and Nic’s mouth fell open as you bent forward to grab the arms of the extra chair and drag it closer to him. He squeezed his eyes shut, but it was too late. Nicolas had already caught sight of your rounded backside provokingly turned in his direction as you backed the chair across the room. He knew his cheeks would surely be red after seeing your smoothed skin covered only with thin (f/c) fabric.

You moved the other armchair close enough that you could sit in it diagonally and put your feet up on the arm of Nic’s seat. Nicolas tightened his jaw and winced as he began feeling like he was trapped in one of his worst nightmares at the same time as one of his wildest dreams. He grabbed the small blanket that hung behind his head on the chair, tossing it at you so you could at least cover yourself to keep him from seeing straight up the shirt.

He breathed a quiet sigh of relief as the tempting site of your body disappeared beneath the blanket. Looking to your face, he noticed your eyes looked distressed again. Nic waved his hand in front of them to gain your attention. “ _Want to tell me about it?_ ” he signed.

You almost looked like you might but then you shook your head “no.” “ _I’m sorry for putting you out like this, Nic. I didn’t know where else to go. I was hoping Worick was here so I wouldn’t have to bother you with this._ ” 

The last thing you signed ripped at Nicolas’ more than he would have thought were possible. He shouldn’t have been surprised…not after the way he had avoided you like a plague the last three weeks, but it stung, nevertheless.

“No problem,” he said aloud, looking at you with sincerity.

Seeming embarrassed to press the matter, you signed, “ _Is Worick upstairs?_ ” followed by your mouth forming, “I can’t face going home tonight. I need a break.”

“ _You can stay here. I’ll sleep on our couch. You can use my bed,_ ” Nicolas signed.

You put your head into your hands for a moment before shaking it back and forth. Looking up, you made the sign for thank you, then added as he read your lips, “but I don’t want to do that. I’m not like you that way. I just need someone who will hold me tonight. I don’t want to feel so alone, you know?” 

Nicolas knew. Unfortunately alone was what he did best.

“I don’t think Worick will mind, do you?” you asked. He shook his head and closed his eyes. Of course Worick wouldn’t mind. It didn’t mean anything to him, at all. A woman in the bed might as well have been a silkier body pillow. Nicolas cursed his fears again and leaned his head into his hand. He squeezed the bridge of his nose while he rested his elbow on his knee.

Nico felt your hand move his fingers from in front of his eyes and blinked at how close you were as you asked, “Is he here now, Nic?” The dark haired man nodded once and stood to walk you to the door.

Again, he was frustrated by his desires as he watched his shirt hang dangerously close to revealing the tempting roundness peeking from the bottom of your underwear. 

At the entryway, you turned around and signed, “I’m sorry again that I put you through this. I know how uncomfortable being close makes you. I never wanted to force that on you, Nic.” You smiled tenderly and pushed those stubborn black bangs out of his eye. “Forgive me?” you asked, lips moving so alluringly Nicolas almost melted out of his skin.

He stood surprised as you waved briefly and began slowly climbing the stairs. _Forgive her_? The notion was ludicrous. How had you gotten the idea that you had done anything to wrong him? Nic was the one that spent days and weeks pushing you away from him. Nic was the one who made you aware that touch wasn’t a place he felt at ease. He was the one that had confused you like this. Nic was the one that was currently longing to touch you and waiting for you to make it to a high enough step that he could glimpse your stunning ass one more time.

Nicolas realized he didn’t have to lay awake below Worick’s bed all night wondering how his friend was “comforting” you in the dark. He only needed to be confident enough to say something. Feeling safe enough to lower his guard, he called your name. Halfway up the staircase, you turned to face him and he signed, “ _Stay_.”

Hands awkwardly forming the words, you signed, “ _I would, Nic, but I need to be able to feel someone there with me. It comforts me. I really need touch tonight._ ”

Nicolas climbed the steps slowly and stood in front of you two steps below. He didn’t move his steady eyes from yours as he reached up and tugged gently at the sleeve of his shirt that hung from your hand. Again he used his voice.

“Stay.”

Your expression was torn as you shook your head and admitted, “You’re too important to me, Nicolas. I’m not going to trade my anxiety for yours.”

Sighing in frustration at himself, Nic climbed to the step behind you. He knew he had created this whole situation, but he knew what he could handle. Nicolas knew he wanted this. He wanted to be closer to you. After everything you had seen from him so far, the fact that you still considered him worth worrying over— Nic _needed_ to be closer to you.

He slid his arms around your waist and gripped your hands as his shins knocked against the backs of your legs, urging you to walk down the stairs until you were at the bottom. Nico released his grasp of your hands and pulled you gently by your arm back into his set of rooms.

It was almost dark by then and only very dim light filtered into the space. “Nic, I don’t want to do something that makes you uncomfortable!”

“ _Can you not just shut up, (f/n)?”_ he begged with his hands. Knowing it came across ruder than he intended, he added, _“Please,_ ” before taking your hand. “You just need to get some sleep,” he grumbled, letting you know that he had no intentions of making any moves and so he wasn’t feeling anxious.

Nic led you into his bedroom and you searched his face for a sign that he had changed his mind. Finding none, you slowly climbed into his bed and moved to the far side, closest to the wall. Still in his favorite pair of military style pants, Nico lay next to you, pausing only a moment before taking your hand in his again. You laced your fingers together and pulled his hand to rest against your smooth cheek. Your warm lips rested half on his hand, half on your own and you didn’t say another word as you waited patiently for Nicolas to be comfortable.

Nic didn’t know what to do first. He had been close with a woman before but you were very different from Veronica. The biggest difference was that Veronica was a Twilight and you were Normal. He was sure this wasn't even legal. Normal men could treat Twilight women as disgustingly as they wanted, but for a Tagged man to even lay a hand on a Normal woman gently like this... Your kind face calmed his negative thoughts. Your (e/c) eyes encouraged him to take his time and timidly he began stroking your soft (h/c) hair. He felt surprisingly at ease as he focused on his large fingers running gently through your silky tresses. You smiled softly and Nicolas pulled you closer to him until you were against his firm chest.

Nicolas breathed you in and closed his eyes for a moment. Deep down, he was a mess and so were you. The fact that you shared something so essential gave Nic a feeling of belonging. The fact that you allowed him to… that you _wanted_ it to be Nico that comforted you tonight, made him feel human for the first time in a very long time.

Nic concentrated on your peaceful warm breaths against his bare skin, as he moved his hand to your back and calmly ran it in soothing circles until he was sure you were asleep. He didn’t feel like sleeping. He wanted to stay awake watching over you and relishing this human moment, but he was so content that Nicolas drifted off as well.

He woke abruptly to you hitting him and thrashing in your sleep. He couldn’t tell what you were saying in the dark, but you were distressed again. The nightmare was too deep for him to wake you. Nicolas propped himself up against his headboard. If touch was what calmed you then that’s what you would have. He pulled you to rest between his legs and held you firmly against his sturdy chest until you finally relaxed into deep sleep once more.

Your small hands now rested warmly on his body and he thought about how much softer and more delicate your skin was compared with his own. You were calm and comfortable in his arms and Nicolas forgot all about the monster he had been. Instead of the abused rabid animal the world saw, he saw only the man he was in that moment. 

Allowing himself a smile, he kissed your hair softly, squeezed you tighter still, and let himself relax into contented sleep.


	7. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ergastulum:  
> Don't start none, won't be none.
> 
> You're awfully scrappy, Reader-chan! ;-p
> 
> *Cover Art is by the stupendously talented [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com)   
> [Just You And Me](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556727518) 
> 
> Links to previous parts:  
> [Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322)   
> [Part 2](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556936375)   
> [Part 3](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557529341)   
> [Part 4](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557683025)   
> [Part 5](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557827025)   
> [Part 6](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/558165893) 
> 
> *As always, comments are greatly appreciated, read, and responded to as soon as possible ^_^ Hope you enjoy.*

_Your knuckles were bleeding and you could taste copper in your mouth. Two bodyguards were approaching from inside Big Mama’s place. Women screamed all around you outside the Corsican brothel, and you lunged again for the woman who had smacked you across the mouth._

_Suddenly you felt a long arm grip you around the waist and drag you back forcefully._

_“Whoa! Whoa! (F/n)! What the hell has gotten into you?” shouted Worick._

_“Let me hit her, Worick! Let me hit her again!” you yelled. Looking to the side, you saw Alex Benedetto was accompanying the Handyman today. Thankfully, you did not see Nico. He must have his own errands. You knew he couldn’t enjoy coming into Corsican territory on his own._

_“Calm down, (nickname)-chan! Everyone’s too worked up!” he said as he eyed the two bouncers waiting to intervene._

_You forcefully turned your body in his firm grasp, meeting his gaze, your (e/c) eyes wild. “She said it was your fault, Worick! She said you pissed her off and your Tag was gonna pay. ‘Corsicans don’t have to put up with that filthy shit! I hired a guy to take him out!’ She said she couldn’t wait to see your face when she gives you Nic’s head!” you repeated what started the fight in the first place. You were screaming it, rage utterly out of control._

_Worick’s eye grew dark and he threw a deadly glance to the bouncers in your way, daring them to move closer. The boys were familiar with the Handyman and they stopped in their tracks. As you turned to face the offending whore again, Worick released you without a qualm._

_You knew Big Mama would surely punish you. There wasn’t a chance you’d be left alone for attacking one of her girls, even if she did have a soft spot for Worick and Nicolas. It didn’t matter. You felt so much satisfaction as your fist crashed into her face._

_********_

Turning to your back, you groaned out a low hum as you stretched from toes to fingertips making sure you were still alive this morning. You heard a sharp inhale of air through someone’s nose and blinked as you realized that the firm pillow behind you was Nico’s chest. You tilted your head all the way back to meet his eyes, which were still struggling to open fully. You smirked at Nicolas as he brought you into focus.

“Hi,” you said. Against Nicolas’s body, you paid particular attention to the vibration your word made.

He stared at you for a minute, face unreadable, before he stretched with great exaggeration to disturb the comfortable position you were in. You moved to your knees beside him and playfully shoved his head to the backwards. Both of your eyes went wide that you had dared to move against him aggressively, even in jest.

“Tch,” he huffed and that dangerous grin landed on his face.

“Nicolas,” you warned hand in the air to block an inevitable attack. “Nicolas, don’t! You started it!” you shouted as you closed your eyes in preparation.

Very lightly, you felt his finger touch the tip of your chin. You opened your eyes, curious as to how you had managed to escape death. He was smiling in that endearing innocent way again, and you couldn’t resist. You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around his waist, cheek resting just below his chest as you took advantage of another embrace.

Nic pulled you on his lap, between his legs once more and lifted you higher, hugging you to him so that your faces lay against each other. It was an overwhelmingly huge gesture on his part of the trust he had placed in you, and you felt your heart swell knowing he had opened up to you this much. You hadn’t expected to ever get through. You pressed tighter into the hug and smiled against his cheek.

You leaned back far enough to say, “Thank you, Nicolas,” before resuming the comfortable hug.

As the morning began, you needed to head to Dr. Theo’s and back to your boarding house. Your clothes were still soaked from the storm the evening before so you would have to make do with something of Nicolas had. He gave you the smallest of his trousers that he could find and a belt that you used to cinch them tightly to your waist. The shirt was oversized, the pants were baggy and barely hanging on, and you had no option but to walk through 3 districts of Ergastulum like this.

He laughed as he saw you emerge from his room and signed before you could bother to ask, “ _It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen._ ” 

You laughed as you agreed. Nicolas handed you a warm cup of coffee and you took a much needed sip. Sitting in the newest armchair for a minute, delaying heading out, you signed, “ _Mr. Arcangelo should watch himself before word gets out that his partner really knows how to comfort the ladies!”_

Nic couldn’t hide how red his face became, and he didn’t know how to respond other than sticking his tongue out at you.

“ _Only teasing, Nicolas,_ ” you signed, smiling reassuringly. “ _Your secret is safe with me._ ”

“ _No one would believe you._ ” Nic made a fair point.

_“Too true,_ ” you signed. “ _I don’t even believe me._ ”

Nicolas smirked, but then he diverted his eyes away from you. “ _It’s probably better if you don’t._ ”

Getting out of the chair to stand in front of him, you signed, “ _No, Nic. Don’t do that. I’m not pretending it didn’t happen. Don’t try to take it away from me._ ”

“Please,” you mouthed, (e/c) eyes begging him to let you hold onto a closer connection with a Twilight. You needed last night. You needed to feel human, instead of like a murderer…a liar. You needed to be reminded that killing Lettie hadn’t been a choice you ever would have made on your own.

Nico sighed and motioned with his hands again, “ _I won’t._ ” 

You couldn’t delay the morning much longer. Nicolas handed you a bag with your rain-damp clothing, and walked with you to the door. There was one more thing you wanted to tell him before this chance slipped away.

_“Really, Nic…what you did for me last night…_ ” you began signing carefully, hoping you chose the right motions, “ _I know how much trust in me that took…I want you to know that I trust you that much, too.”_

You took a moment to steel yourself before signing, “ _You might never want to see me again, but I want to tell you what I’ve done._ ”

Nic’s face was relaxed and unreadable. As you lifted your hands to sign again, he took both of them into one of his large hands. “You will,” he said aloud, “but not today. It’s too much on you today, (f/n).”

Without being asked, without being told, Nicolas wrapped you into one more tight hug before you left. You lost your restraint for a moment, not thinking about consequences. Feeling so thankful to have gained his faith, feeling worth having the Twilight friend that you had longed for since Lettie’s death, feeling infatuated with Nicolas like never before, you placed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, landing it mostly on his cheek.

This time it was you who backed rapidly away. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I know that was too far. Nic, please don’t hate me.” You covered your eyes with your hands, mortified to see what expression must be on his face. You were sure if you just waited a few seconds, he would leave you standing there alone in your embarrassment, blaming himself for your forward actions. Then you could rush home pretending you weren’t such an idiot.

You were beyond surprised when you felt his fingers grip your wrists tightly and pull your hands from your eyes. He hadn’t left you standing there all alone. Nicolas still stood facing you. “Hate you?” he questioned.

You swore he looked almost hurt by the words. “ _After everything you’ve been to me, you think that a tiny kiss would make me hate you, (f/n)?_ ”

You furrowed your eyebrows with an anxious stare as you shrugged your shoulders. Still unsure, you shook your head slowly.

“ _Do you want me to kiss you?_ ” he signed as he moved closer.

You felt like there was no right answer that wouldn’t somehow hurt Nico. You decided to go with the truth. “Desperately,” you mouthed.

A slight upturn at the corner of his mouth made your knees feel weak. It quickly vanished as he signed slowly, “ _I can’t._ ” 

Your breath was stuck in your lungs and your face was crimson from your embarrassment, until he continued signing. “ _Not until I’ve earned it. Not until you’ve seen what a monster I really am. If you still want this beast to kiss you after you’ve seen the blood…the death…the cruelty in my veins, instead of this Normal mask…_ ”

Now it was your turn to grab his hands and force him to stop speaking. “You’re wrong, Nicolas. You’re not the things you’ve done. _That_ is the mask! This man here,” you said as you placed his hand in yours to his chest, “—this is who you really are, even if you’re too scared to believe that.”

He looked like he may never recover from the words you’d just offered. “ _If you give me the chance to show you the animal I am, you’ll change your mind, (f/n). I’m a fucking Tag, it’s important you don’t forget that or you’ll end up dead._ ”

His words stung briefly as they reminded you of the horrible phrase your father had spat at you before Lettie’s murder.

“You’re wrong. Everyone’s wrong about that, Nicolas, and you know it.” Your expression grew more distressed and anxious as you added, “Twilights are humans! You’re the same as me.”

Nic stopped you before you were trapped in your anxiety again. “For you, I would almost believe that. Either way, after you’ve seen the disgusting things I’m responsible for…if you aren’t appalled, I’d…” he paused, the look in his dark brown eyes melting you, “— _I’d like to try it again_ ,” he signed before placing those marvelously calloused fingertips to your lips.

You closed your eyes and nodded. You couldn’t think of anything else to add as he reached behind you and opened the door. Your feet didn’t even feel like your own as you backed through to the other side and watched his tauntingly unreadable face close the door slowly to leave both of you alone, processing the words that had just passed between you.

Leaning against the door for a moment and soaking in the last few seconds of bliss you had just experienced, you heard a throat clear. You squeezed your eyes closed and turned your head slowly up and to the left. When you finally looked, you saw the most shocked-looking Worick you had ever seen.

His eyebrows raised, he pointed to you and you looked down. _Great._ Not only had he seen you leaning outside Nic’s door, but you were wearing Nicolas’ baggy clothes. A small bag in your hand contained your damp outfit from yesterday.

As Worick slowly opened his mouth, you interjected, “Don’t! Worick. Don’t say a word. This is not what it looks like.”

The handsome blonde was standing in pajama bottoms, a towel around his shoulders, hair damp from a shower, as he continued eyeing you suspiciously. It was one of the only times you had seen him without the patch that covered his scar, and you might have been feeling very sympathetic towards the man, if not for the comical way he was staring you down.

“I was having a panic attack!” you tried explaining. “Nicolas was just helping me relax!”

The devious grin that lit his features told you immediately what his response would be. “You don’t have to explain. I know _all_ about helping women relax, (nickname)-chan.”

“Damn it, Worick! You know that’s not what I meant,” you scolded. “It’s Nicolas we’re talking about here! Nothing like that happened.”

Worick leaned against the stair railing. He looked devastatingly handsome and he knew it. You tried not to get distracted by him pursing his lips and gesturing for you to elaborate on your choice of clothing.

“My clothes were all wet!” You clamped your hand over your mouth, knowing exactly how the perverted moron at the top of the stairs would turn that around on you. 

His eyebrows raised higher, his mouth gaped open, and Worick moved his hands rapidly gesturing towards the whole scene, as if to ask “How am I _not_ expected to comment on this?”

He began rapidly descending the metal staircase and you stood at the bottom placing your hands up to try to stop him from embarrassing Nicolas.

“Don’t, Worick! It’s not as juicy as you think! Leave him alone, please?” you begged, afraid that Worick’s taunts would cause Nic to regret his decision to let his guard down for you.

“Oh, (nickname)-chan,” he said quietly as he placed a kiss to your forehead. Then he gripped your shoulders and moved you out of the way, stepping to the door. Giving you that mischievous crooked grin, he said, “Not if my life depended on it, darling!” Then he flung the door open. “Nicolas!” he bellowed in a sing-song voice, as he slammed the door behind him.

Wincing, you grabbed your little bag of clothes and headed off to Dr. Theo’s. You felt sorry for the badgering Nicolas would now have to endure, but the way Worick treated Nic as a Normal best friend would never _not_ please you. You smiled thinking of how the two men loved each other. Then you felt devastated again as you pictured your favorite childhood friend lying dead at your feet. You quickened your pace to get to the doctor as soon as possible.

Once you arrived at the clinic, you noticed Nina wasn’t in, but at least Theo was there today. After a brief talk with him over your symptoms, he encouraged you to make it just a little longer until the medicine was working properly and he gave you some fast acting anti-anxiety pills.

“Those are very addictive, so be extremely conservative with them. Only take them if absolutely necessary. Got it, (f/n)?” Theo questioned, cigarette drooping from his lower lip.

“I thought these weren’t legal in Ergastulum, Theo,” you said as you read the name on the bottle.

Theo shook his head almost imperceptibly. “No. People don’t like the idea that Twilights might get their hands on some. It’s certainly not encouraged to hand them out in this city. Not that it matters to me. I’d like to see what kind of samples I could get if they reach the general Tag population.”

You nodded and stood next to him a moment longer. “Theo,” you started, as you pocketed the pills, “you’re a shit doctor, ya know?”

As you began walking towards home, you heard the doctor say, “So, I’ve been told.”

===

Arriving at your boarding house, you saw a familiar sight. An Ergastulum police car was parked out front and two men leaned against the back. One old, grizzled, and gray while the other was much younger, fresher, and new to the force…Chad Adkins and Cody Balfour had been waiting for your arrival.

“Long time no see, (f/n)!” waved Cody cheerfully.

“Hi, Cody!” you said as you gave the sweet young man a warm hug. He seemed to blush slightly. Cody was nervous around women, and it always made you laugh. 

You eyed Cody’s grumpy partner and poked him in the middle of his round belly. “Whatcha doin’ here, Uncle Chad?” you questioned.

“Don’t you ‘Uncle Chad’ me, young lady! I’ve been hearing around town you don’t need this washed-up old detective’s help anymore. Seems like you found a better bodyguard,” he scolded.

“It _has_ been awhile since I’ve needed to call you boys out, I suppose. It wasn’t personal, Uncle Chad. Don’t be pouty about it.” Chad pouted anyway. Letting you grow up was difficult for the old man after having answered your every call for aid for so many years now.

“(F/n), I told you before that those Handymen aren’t boys you want to be hanging around,” Chad grumbled.

“Come on, you know you love those boys, Chad. You talk about them every time you’re here! Right, Cody?” you taunted.

Cody laughed and nodded before adding, “We’re meeting them right after we leave your place!”

“Shut up, Cody!” barked Chad. Cody recoiled and looked like a puppy smacked with a newspaper. He quietly sat down in the passenger side of the car without another word.

“Oh, don’t be so mean to poor Officer Balfour, Uncle Chad,” you scolded. “I know you’ve been worried about me since I got to this city, and you know I appreciate everything you do for me and for the boarding house. I never would have made it without you.” You nudged him and he frowned briefly but then let a short smile slip before lighting up a cigarette. “I’m a big girl now. I’m not going to let things get out of hand.”

“Hmm…” he grumbled. He released a puff of smoke and gestured to the outfit you were wearing. “You sure about that?” he asked.

Your ears felt like they were on fire as you tried to keep the blush from spreading to your face. “It’s nothing! I got rained on!” you exclaimed, holding up the bag of clothes.

“Yesterday, you mean?” he asked, raising his eyebrow and taking another drag off his smoke.

You blushed obviously and turned your face from him. He sighed and leaned down for a side hug, “Look, kid…just be careful. Those two can cause you plenty of headache.”

“You’re one to talk. You’re off to find them now,” you said as he walked around to the driver side of the squad car.

He dropped his cigarette and snuffed it out with his shoe. “Somebody’s got to take out this ‘Barry’ troublemaker and the police can’t officially take a side. What other choice do I have?” he commented matter-of-factly. 

You waved to him and wished Cody goodbye before they pulled off in the direction of District 8. “See you later, Uncle!” you called after him.

Standing on your stoop, waving after the car, you found yourself completely lost in a memory of a (h/c) haired, (e/c) eyed 15 year old girl confidently doing the exact same thing.

_“Goodbye, Chado-san!” you shouted, grateful to have found a place close enough to the police station for sale. The money you stole from off your father’s body had paid for the building. It may have been quite a sight after all of the Twilight hunts, but it only needed a bit of work put into it before you could start your own boarding house. Only in the city a week and you had already found an ally in the grizzled detective. Chad Adkins had promised to look in on you often. He would make sure you were getting on safely. Chad could read right away that you were a girl with no experience in this town of thieves, but he also admired your determination and spark. Someone with your attitude was a welcome sight to an officer with so much destruction on his beat. Throughout your time in the city, Chad always made sure there was an officer watching you, all the way until he knew for certain it was true that Nicolas Brown had taken over that duty. With your first friend in Ergastulum, you hoped this would be a drastic and welcome change from the last eight years of your childhood hell._

 

You had no idea how long you’d been on your stoop before you were rudely startled out of your memories by a male’s long, loud screeching. It didn’t take much for you to imagine it belonged to this troublemaker Uncle Chad had mentioned earlier. Whoever it was had caused enough trouble that the detective called Benriya for the first time in a long time. There was no way Worick or Nicolas would let him go unpunished. This city may have been full of criminals, prostitutes, mafia, and Tags but there were rules here. There was a way of going about everything, and if you were going to break those rules, you would certainly find yourself at the other end of Benriya weaponry. _Idiots_ you thought.

“Welcome to Ergastulum, Barry,” you said to yourself before heading inside to get changed.

****

****

**_To Be Continued…_ **


	8. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, clarification:  
> I have only read until #36 and then seen RAWs and loose translations through the available #42. They don't have volume 7 available yet in America so I don't know what happens past there.
> 
> This is NOT spoiler because I just made up my own theories on Veronica...  
> which in my head, the reason she loses her arm and that the flashbacks seem to hint Nic was the cause is because, in her depressed state (to prove a point or because she is hired) she tries to kill Worick, so it would be automatic for Nicolas to get rid of the arm with the weapon (also, destroy her, but I'm just assuming he loved her)  
> the Alex thing...there's a panel set of flashbacks where it appears Nic saved Alex from being raped by some huge-ass Tag and gets quite injured in the process (my theories on Alex and her secrets aside)...it's completely vague still as of issue #42 and it's not a memory Nic is willing to confirm for her sooo...
> 
> I'm just going with that for REASONS!!!! Reasons, damn it!
> 
>  
> 
> The cover image is again from Ms. [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com)   
> [Just You And Me](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556727518) 
> 
> Links to previous parts below:  
> [Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322)  
> [Part 2](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556936375)  
> [Part 3](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557529341)   
> [Part 4](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557683025)  
> [Part 5](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557827025)  
> [Part 6](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/558165893)   
> [Part 7](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/558672711) 

_Nico stopped by the Tobacco Shop that morning and grabbed a few drinks that he and Worick had run out of at home. He also picked up something for Nina while he was there, as was his habit. On the way back to Benriya, he passed the produce stand. Nic had waited in the nearby alleyway so many times while Worick purchased fresh fruits. Just once Nicolas wanted to be able to buy something like a Normal. Perhaps he had been spending too much time around you._

_The closer he neared the stand, the more suspicious the stares around him became. They were waiting for a reason to attack. If a Tag like Nicolas retaliated against Normals he would be in big trouble…if he belonged to a Guild, that is._

_Nic stood next to the stand and debated saying anything. Before he was given a chance, the owner shouted for him to get away. Nicolas pulled more than enough money for a few pieces of produce out of his pocket and picked up an apple. The big, burly proprietor felt confident that a Tag would not strike back against a Normal and smacked the apple and change out of Nic’s hand._

_“Don’t touch my product, filthy Dog!” he mocked._

_One apple. It was expected, but it still made Nicolas aggravated. “Tch,” came his huff as he thought about how wrong you and his friends were that things would ever change in this city._

_As the shop owner reached for the free rolling apple in front of him, he caught a glint of silver and froze at the slicing noise that followed. The older man looked up to see the tip of Nico’s blade just centimeters from where his fingers had been, now sticking straight through the red, ripened fruit._

_Scrambling backwards, the owner began shouting, “Attack! This Tag bastard just attacked me! You all saw it! Somebody kill him!”_

_Nic rolled his eyes. Almost everyone in this area knew better than to pick a fight with Brown. He lifted the blade and brought the apple to his mouth, taking a delicious and messy bite. Plucking the fruit from the end, he sheathed his blade and took another juicy bite without ever taking his annoyed glare off the stand’s startled owner._

_Managing to look even more menacing, Nicolas leaned forward and pocketed two good sized oranges, leaving the change that lay loose across the counter and street. As he stepped backwards into the alley, he muttered his sarcastic “Thank you,” before disappearing back towards home. He made a mental note that the effort to just get a damn apple like a Normal human had been far too great. Nico would just wait for Worick to do it for him the next time, the same as always. It was foolish for him to have thought he could be a person._

_Arriving home, Nic found Nina speaking with Worick and Alex about another job that Dr. Theo needed them to complete. It was obvious that another Tag was involved or Theo wouldn’t have sent for Nic. Not interested in putting up with anymore bullshit that morning, Nic downed half his bottle of Celebrer, despite Nina’s protests, and they made their way to the clinic._

_Once his fight was over and he was covered in blood, Nic looked over his shoulder at Alex and saw the familiar look of horror that everyone eventually showed him. Everyone looked on the monster with the same terrified eyes—everyone except for Nina…and you. You had yet to look at Nico like he was a beast. His chest tightened knowing that, given time, you would._

_Telling Worick to take Alex home, Nicolas volunteered to run Theo’s errand that afternoon. He wanted a chance to stop by and see you. He needed someone that wouldn’t stare at him like he was trash on the bottom of a shoe. Nico found himself terribly disappointed to find you had gone out once he arrived at your inn._

_“She’ll be back in an hour,” said the young Twilight mother Nic had first watched meeting you. She looked almost like a different person after months in your care…healthy and alive. Your encouragement and patience had transformed her into someone new and confident. With her closing the door after responding, Nic turned to walk down the steps._

_Nicolas remembered how you had been different from the very first moment he had reached for your hand. There wasn’t a trace of fear despite the blood that spattered the two of you. You hadn’t even hesitated. Once again, you made Nicolas feel that he could believe the lie if he were with you. He could see the man he really was and not the filthy dog._

_Nicolas shook his head at his idiot self and pulled the two oranges from his front pockets. They were squished and bruised and leaking slightly after what he’d put them through that day. He almost changed his mind, but again he thought of your first moments together. They may have been badly damaged and no longer fresh, but they would still make a perfectly good cup of juice._

_Heading to finish the doctor’s errand, Nicolas left the two oranges side by side on the boarding house railing._

********

Nicolas had had enough trouble for one day and Chad’s complaining was getting on his last nerve. Forcefully, he kicked the squad car, not caring for a second that Cody was inside, and sending it rocking hard off its tires. Nic was irritated. He was tired. He was feeling aggressive and was not in the mood to watch Chad complain about Worick taking on another pet project.

Ordinarily, Nicolas hated when his partner pulled these stunts, and he would have shut it down in a heartbeat, but he knew this one. Nic had met this Alex woman before. He could tell that she didn’t remember him in the slightest and that was fine. It was better than fine, because he could just ignore her like he did with everyone else and hope that she didn’t ask too many questions.

Nicolas still might have attempted talking Worick out of a new girl at Benriya, if it hadn’t been for Nic’s need to get his contract holder out of his personal business with you. Nico had barely had five minutes to process what had happened between the two of you before Worick came barging in and prodding Nic for details.

Nic had no intention of sharing whatsoever, which he made clear in a matter of seconds after Worick burst into the room. He masterfully avoided eye contact with the man all morning, dodging him while getting ready for the day, until finally, the phone rang and it was Granny Joel starting them on a very full day of errands.

Now the end of the day, Nicolas had managed to escape to his room unnoticed. Worick was left alone upstairs chatting away with his latest project. Nic found himself hoping Benedetto wouldn’t be too troublesome.

Able to process the previous night and the morning, at last, Nicolas lay back on his bed. Waking up with you hadn’t made him uncomfortable. In fact, he woke feeling refreshed and at ease in a way he never had before. Nico found himself confused over his human behavior towards this woman. 

Nic hadn’t always been alone. He had cared for Veronica deeply, but with the both of them heavily addicted to Celebrer, things between them had never been exactly peaceful. Neither of them believed they deserved to be alive, both felt like beasts, and Veronica was constantly testing Nic, trying to prove that they were both monsters that couldn’t care for anything more than their orders.

Nic swallowed hard, and his chest felt tight as the unwelcome image of her arm falling to the floor flashed through his mind for the millionth time. In the end, Veronica had been right and they were both paying that price.

Nicolas grabbed the pillow next to him and clutched it to his face in an effort to bury the painful memories. Taking a deep breath, Nicolas found himself drawn immediately back to thoughts of you. He inhaled deeply again, flooding his senses with the familiar scent of you that lingered in the fabric.

Nic had spent a morning as normal as the ones he spent with Worick—natural, light, free from the usual tension he felt around others…except with a charming and gorgeous woman. 

A Normal woman.

Nicolas could no longer deny that he had become hopelessly enamored by you…not to himself anyway. Admitting it to others was not an option. If anyone knew you meant as much to Nicolas as you did, you would likely be dead within a month.

Nic didn’t think it was fair that every time he pushed you away, you somehow knew exactly how to draw him in again…saying things like, “You’re the same as me.” He knew that was a lie. He knew when the others tried to prove it to him that he wasn’t the same—Nina and Worick had tried so many times. It didn’t matter how much they wanted it to be true. It wasn’t. It never would be.But…when you had said it that morning, it was almost real for a moment, and Nicolas had never wanted to believe that fallacy more than he did for you.

It was beginning to eat at Nico that you had so much influence over him without even trying. It was effortless on your part. The more of yourself you showed to him, the more honest things became, the more he was giving himself over to you. He might have been ok with that, except Nic was afraid of the devastation he would feel when you inevitably abandoned him. Certain that all of the power lie with you, Nico felt his only hope of having a say in this situation was to continue pushing away until you left the way he knew would come. 

Then you had placed that most unexpected kiss on him. Your lips may barely have brushed the corner of Nic’s but so much flew threw his mind in the instant before you backed away. In that moment, Nicolas hadn’t let you go. He returned the kiss without timidity, and your lips were like a sweet dessert that needed to be slowly savored and enjoyed to the very last.

When he shook himself from his imagination, he saw the embarrassment on your cheeks and the trembling in your hands and realized something for the first time.

“ _Do you want me to kiss you?_ ” he signed, moving closer.

Nicolas watched as your (e/c) eyes frantically searched his for a hint on how to answer. He gave you nothing, and so all you were left with was the truth.

“Desperately,” Nic watched your inviting lips breathe out. He couldn’t hear your voice. The word echoed loudly through his body, nevertheless. He again imagined closing the gap, capturing those soft, supple lips with his own and showing you how much his desperation was mutual.

Immediately, that thought was overshadowed by Veronica’s falling arm, a house full of slaughtered Arcangelos, and you, destroyed at his feet.

“ _I can’t._ ” Nico managed to sign. Seeing the humiliation and hurt in your eyes would be his undoing. He didn’t need to add his next phrase. It would only bring you both pain. Still, he could not handle the way your eyes were tearing into his wall. “ _Not until I’ve earned it._ ” 

He had made his decision. Nicolas would give you the chance to love him. He would quit wasting so much time pushing you away from him. Nic was certain that after seeing everything he had done, there would be no question for you that Nicolas was inferior in every way. He wouldn’t need to push for you to go, because for a Normal like you to watch his true nature—well, it would _drive_ you away without his effort. There would be no way for you to love a monster in reality, and then Nicolas wouldn’t have to be concerned with being the one that told you to get out.

If you still wanted more from him after knowing the truth— he would consider you a complete fool, but he would gladly share that kiss with you. 

Nic felt his abs tense as he pictured what it might be like to finally feel your mouth on his. He had watched them so closely for so long now, the shape and movement of your lips were etched deeply into his mind. If you could stand his reality and still refused to abandon him, Nicolas Brown would kiss a Normal woman without fear, and he would find himself in a more dangerous position than ever before.

He huffed as he thought about people in dangerous positions, and reluctantly Nic left thoughts of you to march upstairs. He knew it would be time to untangle Alex from Worick’s octopus-like groping the experienced gigolo couldn’t seem to control as he slept. Nico grinned and rolled his eyes at the immense differences that somehow made the two men the best of friends. Sparing a thought to you once more, Nic thought maybe he wouldn't have to be so different forever.

****

****

****

**_To Be Continued…_ **


	9. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: This chapter deals with suicidal thoughts, etc. so if that something that is troubling for you then please do not read.
> 
> However, various mental disorders are covered in the Gangsta. universe and handled beautifully and meaningfully so I felt this was a theme that was important for me to explore as well.
> 
>  
> 
> Nicolas is getting pretty wrapped around your little finger, Reader-Chan. ^_^
> 
> This is the little flower I imagine Nicolas giving...
> 
> [__](http://sta.sh/0ojdt77s7nz)[__](http://sta.sh/0jgvfkc25vf)  
>  "I am dazzled by your charms." *headcanon that Nic is a mega romantic without even meaning to be.
> 
>  
> 
> Here's the link to the first chapter:  
> [Need You To Love Me (Nico x Reader) Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322) 
> 
>  
> 
> *The cover image is from the lovely [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com)   
> [Just You And Me](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556727518) 

_ Eight more years after they had forced you to become a murderer, you stayed with your parents. Eight years. What else were you supposed to do at seven years old?  _

_ No one in South Gate would give a damn what you’d been forced to do and at the moment, even Ergastulum was refusing to take anymore leftover human weapons from the past unification war. The population of Twilights had been exploding since the Three Principals had been put into effect and Normals had grown tired of it. They wanted to see Tags put to death in droves or to at least make sure the Celebrer they needed to survive stayed illegal outside Ergastulum. _

_ Your mother and father quickly became leaders of the Anti-Twilight movement in South Gate and were highly respected in the community. They wanted to make sure everyone was certain the (l/n) family no longer kept Twilight slaves and would dispose of any strays they found  _ without _sending them into Ergastulum to live a more normal life._

_ They wanted to make everyone certain that their only daughter would do the same. _

_ It had been a struggle to please your parents when you so vehemently despised them and everything they now stood for, but the beatings you would receive were enough to keep you in line. The times when they weren’t and you spoke out against your parents, your father would make sure the next stray Tag caught would be brought into your home. There, he would force you to shoot them, the same as Lettie. _

_ You felt helpless and useless and disgusting. Before long, the only way you could cope was by convincing yourself the Twilights really were better off dead than living in this shit world. By the time you were 15, killing them without prompting from your parents felt like the right thing to do. You were releasing them from their pain, a pain that you were too frightened to escape from yourself. _

_ Your mother began doting on you, making sure you had everything you desired. She was pleased at the status you had helped them achieve among the growing Anti-Twilight community and seemed to conveniently forget that she had spent the better part of your childhood subjecting you to torture.  _

_ Your father couldn’t have been more proud of his little girl and he often told you so—and everyone else, for that matter. After taking out the eleventh Tag your father had brought to you at home in the last eight years, your wicked father was beaming. He smiled and hugged you tightly, which you returned, despite the cold, dead stare still clouding your eyes.  _ It was better _, you thought of the man you’d killed_ , he’s free from us now.

_ Your father’s next praise awakened something buried deep inside of you. _

_ “I can’t believe this is the young woman you’ve become. I’m so proud of you, (f/n). I never would have thought that ugly, weak little seven year old could come this far. I’m only sorry we didn’t have you get rid of that little one sooner, darling.” He poured himself a glass of wine and a second one for you, which he often let you drink. _

_ He offered it and you declined. Looking at you with sympathy, he continued, “We never would have had to force those thoughts of slaves as people out of your head. Your mother and I could have spent so much more time with you like this then. I’m sorry we let that go on so long, honey. What was that thing’s name again? You remember, the one you thought was your friend?” _

_ “I remember,” you said flatly. _

_ “Aren’t you proud of the woman that’s made you, my sweet girl?” his smile was so heartfelt, so sincere. _

_ “Of course I am, father,” you said quietly as you wrapped him into a hug and fired your gun into the side of his head. _

********

Things in Ergastulum had been very busy as of late. Something was happening behind the scenes that had Uncle Chad growing increasingly concerned. He tried more than once to get you to agree to let him post an officer at night near your boarding house. You assured him that you could handle yourself and that it wasn’t necessary, even though you weren’t blind to the increase on Anti-Twilight activity, and it left you feeling very uneasy.

Adding to your burden was the fact that you had only seen Nicolas a few times and only very briefly since staying in his bed. He was no longer actively trying to push you away from him, but it seemed Ergastulum had taken over that role in spades. Benriya seemed to have more jobs than ever, while you spent a great deal of your time in the alleys, searching for Twilights that didn’t have a place to hide.

No matter how often you stumbled over the same scene, finding the badly mutilated bodies, with dog tags still attached, broke you into pieces every time. The children were the worst. The hunters didn’t seem to care and treated them as brutally as adult Tags. Sometimes, you would pocket the dog tags from the little ones and lie when Uncle Chad arrived, telling the detective that the killers must have taken those Twilight markers. You just couldn’t bare for the information on these children to be completely deleted as if they’d never lived at all. Over the years, you had acquired several boxes full of these lost lives, including your dearest Lettie. Her tags, and the tags of eleven other Twilights burned deep into your soul, had their own special box—black and metal with a lock and key. It stayed hidden away in the office of the boarding house.

The resurgence of the Twilight hunts caused your buried memories to surface much more frequently, and each time you found more murdered Tags, you found yourself reaching for the anxiety pills Theo had given you. It wasn’t a great coping method, but it would have to do for now. At least you were managing to eke by.

Nicolas couldn’t have known the way it lifted your heart, but it seemed that any time you had gone through a particularly rough day, you would come home to some token that the object of your affections had been thinking of you. It seemed to have become a habit between the two of you, showing up while the other wasn’t home. If you couldn’t find him, you would usually slip a short note under his door, but Nico left his hellos in other ways.

First there had been two terribly battered oranges. You couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear, despite the fact that minutes earlier you had been warding off jeers and items thrown at you as you walked down streets outside the neutral zone. A day later, you must have just missed one another. When you returned from leaving a message under Nico’s door, you blushed lightly at finding a book with a personal note slipped inside. 

** **

> ** “ ** ** The first book Wallace helped ** **** ** me read.  **
> 
> ** It’s still my favorite. ** ** ” **

** **

The next time there were two nearly empty stems of what would have been perfectly lovely flowers. Instead, they held only the remnants of a few white petals. There was no telling what Nicolas had put them through, but the fact that he chose to leave them anyway seemed to suit him and only made him more endearing.

After that, you had showed up to find him waiting on the stoop. The two Twilight children were standing with him, showing him the few signs they had picked up from Nina. When they saw you, they hugged you and ran off inside to leave you alone with Nicolas. 

For maybe the first time since you’d known him, you didn’t see a bandage anywhere on his person. It seemed out of place and you smiled as you sat next to him.

“ _Hello,_ ” you signed.

“ _Hello._ ” Nic frowned at you for a moment and reached forward, touching your forehead. You winced as you were reminded that, though Nicolas was free of bandages, you currently were not.

“ _It’s nothing,_ ” you motioned. “ _Just some little Corsican punks trying to show me who was boss.”_

Nic’s eyes grew hard and angry, and you were sure he was making a mental note of who to find in a darkened alley later.

Distracting him, you spoke aloud so he would be forced to focus. “What are you doing here?” you asked.

Nicolas signed, “ _Bringing you this,”_ and he held out a small, but perfect white bloom. “The others were shit,” he mumbled.

You smiled at him sweetly, feeling like your heart would burst at the simple, but deeply romantic gesture. You almost laughed as you imagined the care he must have taken to get the flower to the boarding house in one piece—managing somehow without his haphazard demeanor flattening it. 

Nico had always acted as if you were the one who would have to accept him as a monster. He didn’t know yet that _you_ needed his approval more than he needed yours— that it was he who would never be able to accept you for what you’d done. Pleasant moments like this made you feel that he might not be ashamed to be around the awful Normal beside him, and it made you nervous for the day he discovered who you truly were.

Pushing the thought from your mind, you took the flawless little flower and lifted it gently to your nose. Its smell was as sweet as its silky petals were soft. You would have placed a sweet kiss on his cheek, but because this was Nicolas Brown, instead you placed the flower behind your ear, into your (h/c) hair, and signed “ _thank you._ ”

Nodding, he grabbed your hand for a minute and the pair of you sat in comfortable silence, leaning shoulder to shoulder, before he got up and left again without another word.

= = =

A few days later, people were buzzing about a high-ranked Tag taking out several of Daniel Monroe’s men before he was ushered to safety. You knew it couldn’t have been Nicolas to attack Danny. You’d met the Four Families’ Head on a few occasions and had seen the photos in his office of the younger Nico and Worrick. The two Handymen would do anything to protect Monroe. Uncle Chad had a good working relationship with the man, and he was well liked in the community. You held him in high regard yourself, feeling like kindred spirits trying to make a better Ergastulum for Twilights. It was hard to believe that _any_ Tag would go after Monroe _or_ his men. Something big was definitely happening behind the scenes. If Monroe had escaped, then it was likely that his bodyguard Delico had been responsible for warding off the attack. You silently prayed that Delico and Monroe were both fine and that the Guild had already gotten hold of this wayward Tag.

As the evening wore on, however, and Nina didn’t come home, you began to worry that something more was terribly wrong. It was growing dark quickly, and you could tell from the passersby that the rain pouring from the sky was chilly. You felt a shiver run through your body even though you were inside, which simply increased your sense of danger. Normally, the doctor would have sent his assistant home hours ago, only calling her if necessary. There was only one Tag she would have stayed this long at the clinic to help on a day like this.

In your mind, you replayed the thought… _The two Handymen would do **anything** to protect Monroe._

Grabbing a blue umbrella, you headed quickly through the downpour of that evening to Theo’s clinic. Letting yourself in, you saw poor, exhausted Nina asleep in a chair with her head resting on a bedside. She was so tired, she hadn’t even budged as you loudly entered the clinic. As you pulled aside the curtain more, you found Nicolas sitting in the floor, against the wall, covered in bandages and looking destroyed. He held his katana over his left shoulder like a security blanket, and his tags were clutched in his right hand.

He lifted his dark eyes sluggishly to yours, and he seemed drowsy, ashamed, and pitiful all at once. You couldn’t imagine why he was tucked away beside that small section of wall, but his pained expression told you he was troubled and feeling a need to hide away from people. Nicolas made no movements as you furrowed your brows with concern and crouched down in front of him. Considering the number of major injuries that littered his bare torso and face, you knew there was only one explanation.

“ _You overdosed again?”_ the sign was a question, but Nic chose to respond by closing his eyes and shutting you out.

You huffed and knelt before him. Nic’s eyes were still shut as you reached forward and put your hand lightly against his bandaged left bicep. Nico flinched at the touch but kept those eyes of his shut, determined not to have to be raw with you right now. It concerned and pained you to see Nicolas regress on all the progress the two of you had made.

Carefully, you ran your hands over the bandages decorating his body, reminding him that you were here with him whether he ignored you or not. Nic’s left hand and wrist were wrapped thoroughly, so you ran your thumb tenderly along his fingers that had been left free. Nicolas curled them towards yours, but he didn’t allow them to actually hold on. When you tugged the chain for his tags out of his right hand, his eyes flew open and you paused. 

“I’m not trying to die here, Nic,” you said with only a hint of sarcasm. He watched suspiciously, unsure of why you would dare risk taking his precious markers. As you draped the chain over his broad neck and moved the tags to lie on his back, resting away from his wounds, he resumed his silent hiding place behind his eyelids.

In the middle of his chest was another sizable gauze taped down, and you could see the dried blood that had nearly leaked to its surface before it had been stopped. Silently, you praised the cut hadn’t been a few more centimeters to the left. Fearful that wound may be too sensitive, you just traced the outline of the gauze. Nic didn’t open his eyes, but he let out a deep sigh that almost sounded relieved. If you could just be patient, you knew you could break him out of his dark thoughts…the same as he had done for you.

Relaxing digits danced over the wrap on his right forearm down to his palm, where your hand gave his a comforting squeeze. This time Nicolas briefly squeezed back. As you traced your fingers gingerly around the bandage on his lower abdomen, you felt Nico’s muscles jump beneath your touch, and he sucked air rapidly in through his teeth. It could have been because you were hurting him, but judging from the way that same touch had sent a stimulating shiver through your body—you were fairly certain he had experienced a sensation other than pain.

Your index finger moved delicately across the bandage on his forehead and the thin strip on his nose…

When your gentle digits neared the last bandage on his right cheek, he reached up and grabbed your fingers, pulling them away rapidly and opening his eyes again. Though he wasn’t ready to tell you why he was so demoralized, his expression seemed to crack into something more hopeful at the sight of you. He changed his mind on pulling away. Softly, he replaced your fingers to his cheek, holding them flat against his skin using his uninjured hand.

You nodded silently without knowing why, but moved a little closer. Maybe it was because you needed the encouragement from yourself to keep trying. Now that he was looking at you, you asked aloud, “Did you overdose, Nic?”

Keeping your hand to his face, he nodded gradually, waiting for you to scold him.

“Why, Nicolas?” you asked while stroking his jet black hair away from his face.

“ _You know why,_ ” he signed after releasing the hand at his cheek.

You swallowed hard. You did know, but that didn’t make it any better. It was something you had considered many times yourself, especially the first years you spent alone and disgusted with yourself in Ergastulum. With Dr. Theo’s, Nina’s, and Uncle Chad’s patient help, you had worked hard through the years to overcome your complete despair. It still swelled from time to time, but you no longer found yourself constantly feeling so hopelessly alone. You resolved right then to do whatever it took to keep Nicolas from the same.

“ _I get it, Nic. The dark is safer than the light. I know it feels safer to hide than to deal with things,”_ you signed, ” _but maybe,”_ you didn’t want to press him for answers you knew he couldn’t give just yet with his current mindset. “ _—maybe could I hide here with you?”_

Nicolas looked surprised by your request. “ _Why? It’s pointless. I’ve told all of them, it’s useless. It doesn’t matter how much any of you want it. Twilights never survive for long._ ”

“True…and certainly not if they kill themselves before it’s time,” you said darkly. You couldn’t meet his eyes for a moment as thoughts of Nicolas dead flashed through your mind. It physically pained you to know that, at 34 years old, Nicolas would already be dead if it weren’t for the fact that he was only half-Twilight.

He swallowed hard and continued watching you, looking confused by the patience and empathy you showed him. “ _Doesn’t it matter how Worick will feel if you kill yourself? What about Nina? What about me, Nic?_ ”

Nico looked away and his words ripped into you, “You’re wasting your time…worrying about a dog.”

You snatched the katana, knowing it would certainly gain his attention and he forcefully grabbed your wrist despite being injured and yanked it back with his other hand. The look on his face was beast-like as he witnessed you challenging him and not backing down from his current negative mindset.

“Fuck you, Nic! Fuck you! ‘You think Twilights are the only people that act like animals? ‘You really think none of us Normals are beasts? You know that’s bullshit, Nicolas! The whole reason this damned city even exists is to house people with something to hide.” Nico’s face fell as he tried to follow the quickness with which your rant flew from your lips. “Nearly everyone here has something eating away at their mind. No one should have to suffer that alone, Nicolas! Stop doing that! Quit acting like you’re all alone in this!”

Nico looked exasperated, like he thought you were a complete fool to still be fighting for him. “ _What do you want me to do about it?_ ” he signed.

“ _Let me in!_ ” you signed deliberately. You held his chin so he was forced to look at you. “Try a little honesty, Nic. Why do you need to be alone? What has you so convinced this is the only way? What are you hiding from?”

He answered loudly, “That I’m an animal—a wild dog! I’m not human, just like my father said.”

“And I’m a monster that my scumbag father was proud of!” you barked back at him.

He grabbed for you with both arms and pulled you to him without pause, not caring that his sword fell to the ground, and giving both of your broken hearts the kindness they needed. The hug would have been welcomed, if not for the state Nic was in. He groaned softly, and you knew it had hurt him to pull you so quickly. Putting one hand to his bicep, you found it felt hot—and damp. Pulling your hand back, you saw bright red beginning to soak to the top of that bandage. Nicolas had thrown his arms around you so hastily that the stitches Nina had managed were coming undone.

You looked over the rest of him with concern and he held up his other hand, trying to gesture he was fine. You rolled your eyes at his stubbornness, and then tried helping him to his feet. Nico was so heavy that he needed the aid of his scabbard to help steady himself.

“Nina!” you said extremely loudly. 

The sweet little girl snapped her head up and quickly took in her surroundings. “Nico! What are you doing out of bed? You’re supposed to be recovering!” she scolded.

He shrugged and looked slightly guilty at her admonishment, as you helped him take those few weighty steps to the bed.

“(F/n), where did you find him? I really thought he wouldn’t be able to walk after so much Downer,” she commented, glad that you had at least been there to catch her rebellious patient.

“He was sitting on the floor,” you pointed, “just there.”

As you settled him onto the mattress, you continued, “Nina, I think he’s pulled the stitches in his arm loose.”

She took a look and signed, “ _All my careful work, Nico!_ ”

Nic frowned deeply. He was dismayed at having disappointed Nina. 

She huffed and grabbed a length of stretch bandage, wrapping it very tightly over the top of the leaking gauze. “I was afraid it was too deep a wound,” she muttered to herself. “I have to go get Dr. Theo, Nico! That should hold it ‘til we return.”

She grabbed an umbrella and opened the door, shouting over her shoulder, “(F/n) don’t let him get out of that bed!”

You nodded and hoped she would be swift. Looking to your left, you were startled to see that you still weren’t alone with Nicolas. What appeared to be a young boy with brown dreadlocks, lay passed out a few feet away on another of the clinic beds.

“ _Who’s that?_ ” you signed and pointed.

Nic gestured to all of the injuries on his body and your eyes grew into saucers. “ **He** did all of this to **you**?”Nico grimaced as he shrugged. You began again, signing, “ _He’s just a child, Nic!_ ”

He looked annoyed as he shook his head and pulled his tags around from his back, lifting them to dangle in your face. His thumb rubbed across his “A/0” ranking and he glanced back to you. Your mouth hung open as you processed the fact that the small boy in the bed had done so much damage to your seemingly invincible guardian _and_ was equally ranked. How could that peacefully sleeping child be such a formidable opponent for Brown? It didn’t seem possible. 

It didn’t seem to concern Nico or Nina that the attacker was here in the clinic with everyone, so you tried to lighten the mood some more. “ _Want me to take your revenge?_ ” you signed, eyebrows high and smirking foolishly.

Nic grinned back and let out a quiet laugh before grabbing your nose. “Idiot,” he said aloud.

It felt so incredible to see that smile light his features. It felt almost like an accomplishment, victory for the moment over the beast of depression. It wouldn’t hold forever, but one small triumph at a time was what it would take in the long run. You felt proud of both of you, until your own dark thought surfaced. You felt like Nicolas had been the one doing all of the bending, and you couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t request him to be honest and open if you weren’t doing the same.

“ _Nic_ ,” you motioned, “ _I want to be honest with you. I still haven’t told—_ “

He interrupted your confession yet again, signing, “ _Now? You can’t do this when I’m not bleeding to death?_ ”

Your eyes clouded and you felt that worthlessness threatening to surface. It hurt that he made light of you when you felt so vulnerable.

He tapped your shoulder and you focused your eyes on him, but you couldn’t keep the sadness from showing.

“ _You don’t have to tell me, (f/n). It won’t change what I feel for you,_ ” he motioned. You told yourself he was trying to be nice, but it didn’t stop the frustrated tears that slipped silently down your face. “ _What did I do?_ ” he signed. Then aloud, he bade the same request you had made of him, “Honest.”

“Honest?” you asked, and he nodded. Tears still slipped down your cheeks, only increasing your embarrassment, as you replied. You were too discouraged to use sign language, and Nicolas would just have to settle for reading your lips. “I feel like you’re doing this on purpose. It seems like you’re avoiding it intentionally, Nic. I feel like you don’t want to know what I’ve done or anything about me that might make you see me differently… because deep down, you already know that opening up to trash like me wasn’t worth your effort!” Your voice cracked through the words, and Nico’s eyes were mixed with anxious concern and great empathy as you spilled your feelings.

Before you could even take a breath from completing your fears, Nicolas’ lips had crashed into yours. You were so surprised that your (e/c) eyes stayed wide and you couldn’t move—until you realized you weren’t in a dream and felt Nicolas patiently waiting for you to return his kiss. You relaxed your body and draped your arms over his shoulders, leaning further into him. His lips were cracked from countless recent fights, and his battle earlier had left a slight scent of iron that you could almost taste. Despite that, the touch was gentle—the same way Nicolas was as a man. It was instantly the most addictive kiss you had ever shared.

Until now, you had imagined that if Nic ever did feel the urge to kiss you, it would be brief and awkward that first time. So, you were relieved that he continued to feather tentative kisses against your mouth without any signs of ceasing. You needed more. You tugged gently at his lower lip, urging his tongue to meet with yours. As he slipped his tongue in to taste you, Nicolas let out a quiet whimper.

It only made you burn for him more, and you cupped his face in your hands and beckoned him not to quit. It hadn’t been necessary. It didn’t take much to feel that Nicolas Brown had no intention of letting your lips go.

You hummed a low sound of approval and found yourself growing dizzy from all of the sensation, when suddenly, the bell to the clinic door rang.

Jumping back slightly, Nicolas looked displeased over your retreat, until Theo pulled the curtain back slightly and he understood. Blushing, Nic swiftly turned his head.

“Nina,” Theo said calmly as he rapidly turned to face his child nurse before she could see anything. “I left my extra pain killers at Benriya. Please run and fetch them quickly.” His young nurse dutifully agreed and was off like a shot. 

He turned back to the pair of you, noting your rapid breathing and flushed skin, before directing to you in his always flat manner, “Though, I’m not sure I have anything stronger than what you’ve been giving him.”

“I—“ you started, but you were too disoriented and too flustered to think of anything to finish the phrase. 

Sitting on his stool and rolling over to Nic’s injured side, Theo’s eyes looked perceptively over the top of his glasses at the pair of you. It made you feel very exposed. Standing from the clinic bed, you backed out of the doctor’s way, stumbling slightly over your own two feet.

“Tch,” huffed Nicolas as he shot Theo a dangerous glance, made less intimidating by the bright crimson covering his cheeks. Nicolas then squared his gaze on you, searching for some indication that he had just gone too far.

You looked back and forth between the two men and felt trapped. You were so overwhelmed by the knots Nicolas had formed in your body and the way they’d been cinched up tighter by the sudden, unwelcome appearance of Dr. Theo, that you finally replied, “I-I was just leaving!” before you hurried out the door and back to your inn. You couldn’t handle the eyes on you and giving a proper goodbye was out of the question.

Nearing your boarding house finally, you were too wrapped up in thoughts of what you would possibly say to Nicolas the next time you met to notice that one pair of wicked eyes were watching you dangerously, as another set followed from closely behind.

__

__

**_ To Be Continued… _ **


	10. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: This chapter deals with suicidal thoughts, etc. so if that something that is troubling for you then please do not read.
> 
> However, various mental disorders are covered in the Gangsta. universe and handled beautifully and meaningfully so I felt this was a theme that was important for me to explore as well.
> 
>  
> 
> Nicolas is getting pretty wrapped around your little finger, Reader-Chan. ^_^
> 
> This song gave me all kinds of feels for this "scene" so give it a listen if you like a little mood music. ^_^  
> "Heal" -Tom Odell   
> [](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://youtu.be/ztL6omIym5c)[youtu.be/ztL6omIym5c](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://youtu.be/ztL6omIym5c)
> 
>  
> 
> Here's the link to the first chapter:  
> [Need You To Love Me (Nico x Reader) Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322) 
> 
>  
> 
> *The cover image is from the lovely [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com)   
> [Just You And Me](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556727518) 

This song gave me all kinds of feels for this "scene" so give it a listen if you like a little mood music. ^_^  
"Heal" -Tom Odell   
[youtu.be/ztL6omIym5c](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://youtu.be/ztL6omIym5c)

_ Nicolas sat on the rooftop as Alex hung sheets. He was trying to recover again from overdosing and getting badly injured at Bastard’s. This time, he had needed the enhancement more than ever. Fighting against Erica and that little boy had been enormously difficult. If Ginger had not shown up after Worick fired the flare, then Nic would definitely be dead now. _

_ There was a piece of paper in his hand that had been folded and refolded many times over, despite only being in his possession a short time. The words were creased and smudged from the page being roughly handled. _

_ Nina had brought the letter to Nico in his clinic bed, with a smile on her face and a glint in her eye, telling him that you had sent it along with her just for him. It had been in Nina’s little bag all this time since the little nurse hadn’t yet had a chance to go back to the boarding house—not with all of the Twilights that needed her care after the Cristiano massacre. Finally remembering later that next morning, she fished it out of the bag and took it to her recovering friend. _

_ She thought it would cheer her struggling Nico. Unfortunately, this now terribly crinkled message only offered more misfortune. _

_ = = = _

_ Opening the page carefully that first time, Nic was uneasy about the fact that you had sent along a note instead of coming yourself. It couldn’t have been a good sign. _

__

__

> _ ” _ _ Dear Nicolas, _
> 
> _ I’m so sorry for letting things get this far out of hand…” _

_ _

__

_ Nic crumpled the page and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to read the rest…but he had to. He reopened it slowly and smoothed out as many wrinkles as he could. From across the room, he could see Worick pretending not to watch his friend read the offending piece of paper. _

__

_ _

> _ “…hand, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to continue. Kissing you was what I thought I wanted, but I was wrong. It only made me more confused about who I am as a person and I can’t deal with that right now. On top of that, you lied to me. You said you would be here when I needed you, and you haven’t been around in days. I learn from Chad that you couldn’t even protect those Twilights at the Cristiano brothel tonight. Plus you overdosed on your Celebrer again and Nina tells me you’re back in the clinic and she has to rush there now in this chaos just to treat you. My little boarders huddled with me inside the closet of my bedroom, listening to the Twilights screaming in the night. The boys were terrified. The looks on their faces broke my heart. The three adults I have staying here left early in the evening to take a stand. When they returned, my sweet Twilight friend wasn’t among them. Her son is beyond devastated. I thought you weren’t going to let anything like that happen to us. I think it’s best if you don’t come around here anymore. We can’t control ourselves when we’re together and you can’t be here for me when it really counts. It’s just going to lead to more people getting hurt. I’m sorry to have led you on, but you were right. A Normal like me has no business with a Twilight.  _
> 
> _ Please forgive me for not being honest, Nicolas. _
> 
> _ (f/n)” _

_ _

**__ **

_ Nic read it several times. It didn’t make any sense. This wasn’t how you felt about him, and the both of you knew it. Parts were definitely true…Nina had told him about the young Twilight mother being gone. She didn’t know the adults had left or else the little nurse would have tried talking them into staying indoors. Other things that had a ring of truth seemed out of place or forced into the letter. The last sentence popped out at him specifically as a type of red flag. You had just been so patient getting him to be authentic with his feelings, but now, only a few days later, you send this note and separate that phrase from the rest…it didn’t make sense, but if you were in real danger, surely Nina would have known. _

_ He read it again, and he couldn’t come up with anything other than the same gnawing feeling that he would never be good enough for you—that no matter how he tried, his life was destined to end with constant suffering and hurt. _

_ Nico huffed and squeezed the paper in his grip as he shut his eyes tightly. He felt the bed roll to the side slightly and opened his eyes to find Worick’s black leather oxfords resting there at an angle, while his partner sat leaning in the chair at his bed side. It rocked backwards on the hind legs. Nic thought he looked ridiculous with a lollipop in place of his usual cigarette. Only Nina would have been able to convince the man not to smoke in the clinic. _

_ “ _ What is it, partner? _” Arcangelo signed._

_ Nic straightened the page again and handed it to his contract holder. _

_ Worick had barely glanced at the note before he finished reading it. “I don’t think this is her, Nic. I mean, it’s definitely (f/n)’s handwriting, but…” _

_ He was interrupted with Nic snatching the letter back and glaring at his mischievous friend. Nico signed, “ _ How do you know it’s (f/n)’s handwriting?” _he signed._

_ Worick grinned impishly around his candy as he signed back, “ _ Snuck the notes she was leaving you, of course.”

_ Nicolas growled lowly, but he should have expected as much. Worick had always been nosy, and Nic could never keep things from him for long. _

_ Giving Nico an exaggerated pout, Worick signed, “ _ Don’t be mad, Nico. They were so cute. You held out on me all these years what a little Lothario you are! How could I not read the whole collection? _”_

_ Nic stuck out his tongue, kicking Worick’s feet off the bed, upsetting the chair’s teetering balance, and effectively dumping him in the floor. The Twilight grinned momentarily, but both of the men grew somber again as Worick grabbed the page from the floor and continued.  _

_ “ _ She wrote that letter, I’m sure, but the style is definitely off. It’s not the way she would word things. I’ve seen her with you, pal. Normal woman or not, (f/n) would never leave you sitting here alone so long. Something isn’t right, Nic.”

_ Nicolas felt it, too. _

_ “ _ I’m going out to let Delico know about Erica,” _the tall blonde continued soberly._ “Do you want me to stop by and check on her?”

_ The dark haired Asian man nodded. As Worick stood to head out, Nicolas grabbed his forearm. The two stared at each other for a brief second before Nic signed, “ _ Hey, Mr. Contract Holder, _” while gesturing to his own injuries, “_ Don’t do anything too risky.”

_ “ _ Tch! Like you have room to talk,” _Worick signed before poking him roughly in his injured shoulder and heading out._

_ = = = _

_ Nicolas had been on the rooftop just hoping for some sign that you would come to him. He didn’t truly believe the letter, and he needed you now. He needed to see you with his own eyes. Even if that ridiculous note was true, he didn’t care. He needed to know you were safe. He wanted to get out there with Worick and find you himself, but there was no way he would be much use in his current condition. He was still feeling the immense pain of having a blade plunged completely through his shoulder. _

_ After having Theo finally convince Nina it would be ok to let Alex take him home, Nic sat outside on the bottom step waiting for anyone that would bring him news of you. He was growing more anxious as the seconds ticked by without a sign of you or Worick. Nicolas tried not to slip into those familiar dark thoughts, when he suddenly smelled smoke. Looking up, he saw the ominous black curls rising high into the sky above the Paulklee Guild. _

********

After recovering from his fight with Doug, Nic hadn’t been able to catch you at home. You hadn’t sent him anymore notes under the door; you hadn’t even left the boarding house in the last few days. That day after he kissed you, Nina arrived at work telling him how you had taken on two new boarders; a pair of Normal men, new to the area. He knew you would be busy trying to make it look like you ran a legitimate inn, especially with Twilight hunting increasing in the city. Nina had only met the men briefly and said they seemed friendly enough from what she could tell.

Still, Nicolas had expected that you would at least want to say _something_ about him kissing you. Then again, he hadn’t made further effort on his own to go to you, because taking the step to finally kiss you had been more than enough boldness for him. 

Between odd jobs, he found himself posted just out of sight, watching you the way he used to. He would see you sitting on the stoop with your coffee, looking more exhausted than usual, but nothing seemed especially out of place. You did seem lost in deeper thought, but he hoped maybe that was because you were trying to decide how to respond to him. As far as Nico was concerned, it was your move now. If you wanted more from him than just that kiss, he knew you would come to him eventually—though admittedly, it may have just been his desperate wish that you would.

On the one hand, he worried that maybe it had been too soon or that maybe he had done it wrong somehow. On the other, he pictured as your lips had mouthed “Desperately” that night and the way you stumbled, flushed from head to toe, out the clinic door. The image of how flustered he’d gotten you warmed his cheeks, and it was a warmth that spread downward through his whole being.

Getting in the shower to ready for heading to Boss Cristiano’s party, Nic found himself sidetracked with thoughts of how drastically you had changed that day’s course for him.

= = =

Worick telling him that Hunters seemed to be on the move again brought everything into stark perspective. He had known that he was destined for a short and miserable life, but Worick had given him a false sense of security the last several years…not just Worick, but Nina, Chad, the Monroe family, the Cristianos, and several others worked diligently to make things better for his kind—Theo, too, even though he was never the type to delude anyone that Tags had long to live in this world.

Then he’d met you. He let you in, knowing there was no happy ending for him in this life, but still you made him _want_ to believe. You made him yearn for a long life with friends and a family and love. You made him wish for a place with no more need to kill, no more blood, no more Celebrer poisoning, no more Twilights, Normals or their superhuman counterparts. Nicolas had never in his life wanted those things more than when you were with him. 

This punch in the gut wake-up call, that Nico would not ever be allowed to live without abuse and despair, messed with his head more than anything had in a long time. Maybe this was really why Worick continued keeping him from killing himself. Wallace had promised the young mercenary that he would suffer much, much more than the Arcangelo family had at the Tag’s hands. “ _You’re going to hurt real bad before you die! The worst kind of pain you can imagine!_ ” his 13 year old master had ordered. Having hope stripped from him over and over again…Nicolas couldn’t imagine any worse suffering. 

_ “And I deserve nothing more,”  _ he thought.

Brown shook his head from his place on the bed and looked at Nina, sleeping soundly. He needed to find a clearer head space. He couldn’t get himself so worked up in front of his little sweetheart…not after everything she’d already done for him that day. Nic had to stop thinking about dying right here in front of this child, even if everyone would be better off without him in the long run.

“ _When you’re with me, you sit in a chair. Got it?_ ” Wallace’s words echoed in his thoughts.

Nicolas wasn’t with Wallace, and he found himself reverting to the place he felt most at ease in times like these…on the ground, in the dirt. There was no point pretending to be human today.

Nic was having trouble separating the fact that Worick only commanded his Tag servant to do things when Nic was being stubborn…when he was hurting himself, trying to take his own life. He closed his eyes and replayed Worick earlier in the day saying, “ _Listen, don’t make me have to_ _do that so much…give you orders_.” It was no use. He couldn’t focus on that right now. Only downers and thoughts of despair would fill Nicolas’ brain just then.

He had barely noticed you enter. Still coming out from under the downers, all of his senses were foggy. Your (e/c) eyes were confused and alarmed. Answering questions was not something Nic wanted to do that day. Darkened eyes closed to get away from the unwanted and undeserved concern on your face.

It wasn’t that it physically hurt when you touched the arm injury initially. Instead, it pained Nicolas that you were still fighting this pointless battle. Why did you insist on this when he knew he was complete trash? His chest ached as you traced gently over his arm and wrist. He almost curled your hand into his and let you in, but he was still too lost—too defeated.

When you pulled the tags from his hand, it was a knee jerk reaction to want to harm the person in front of him. As his wild eyes opened and found yours, Nicolas saw that you were nervous but not afraid. It quickly reminded him that you weren’t an enemy. Realizing that you were only freeing his hand, he closed his eyes trying to retreat from your kindness once more.

He felt your fingers ghost over his chest wound, and he willed them to move far away from his disgusting body, until the soft pads actually met with his skin. It was so light, so delicate and soothing. Nic couldn’t control the sudden relief it brought. 

Brown didn’t expect you would be bold enough touch his lowest injury. He found himself quite startled when those same soft fingers of yours rubbed light circles around the gauze. The position of the bandage had your touch move dangerously close to the band of his pants, and he couldn’t stop the tensing in his abdomen. Had he not been feeling so much of his pain setting in, it would have been difficult to resist returning your touch. Nico tried desperately to scold himself—to continue holding onto the fact that this was pointless and would result in more pain for both of you. 

As you brushed carefully at his face, like _he_ was the one who was so fragile and libel to break, the battered Tag tried to forcefully get his feelings for you far away from him. His mistake was in grabbing those graceful digits and locking his eyes with the woman he wanted above all else. Momentarily, that dreadful hope of life without pain returned, and he refused to release you from providing his comfort.

Admitting to you that he preferred death and watching you still refuse to leave him alone with his hatred was filling his mind with the things he was trying to prevent. He didn’t think of that firm path he must follow to his demise, but of the regret at having put you through torture knowing you were just as on edge as he. Nico didn’t intend on being honest about his father or his reasons for overdosing constantly, but those words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them. The words that followed from you had ripped his heart apart and made him feel a stronger connection than ever before.

You had made clear to that point that you weren’t going to make him suffer alone, and Nicolas certainly wouldn’t allow you to do so. Pulling you to him so swiftly was a mistake, but he would do it again. He would have been happy to sit there and bleed so long as you had been in his arms, but you stood and helped him to his feet.

Just as the fog of his depression was lifting, you brought up your past again. He didn’t need to know, just as you would never expect to know all of the evil he had done. None of that mattered to Nicolas. All that mattered was the person you were with him.

Then your tears began to flow, and he was confused again. Why would that upset you? He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“ _I feel like you don’t want to know what I’ve done or anything about me that might make you see me differently_ …”

Why couldn’t he make you see how much he had grown to utterly cherish you?

“… _ because deep down, you already know that opening up to trash like me wasn’t worth your effort! _ ”

_ Trash _ ? Nic hadn’t been able to see before that you loathed yourself as much as he hated his own life. 

_ Not worth my effort? _ After everything he had done in his life, there was still a woman in front of him who wanted _his_ care—his love. Not only that but it was the very same woman with whom Nicolas saw himself falling in love. His need for you was overpowering. Any anxiety he had about touching you was pushed far from his mind, and the only thing Nic had was absolute necessity to feel you.

When you finally relaxed into his kiss, his mind was swimming from so much positive sensation. Your arms around his neck, the warm breaths that tickled his face, and then there were your lips. They were so soft compared to his own—compared to almost anything he had ever touched. Nic paused briefly between each caress to let his senses fully soak in every bit of the moment. As you tugged his bottom lip and begged him to taste you, Nicolas could hardly maintain. Your enticing flavor and the warm and wetness of your mouth was sending him places he had rarely been in his life. The man would have let this continue until you undid him completely, if he weren’t in so much physical pain.

The way you jumped back from him just when he finally had you, made Nic’s thoughts stutter again. 

_ You’ll never hold on to anything you want,  _ he thought.

He was immensely relieved to see that the reason you’d recoiled had nothing at all to do with him, and he was overjoyed that you barely managed to stay on your feet as you left the clinic. Nicolas even forgot himself for a moment, smiling foolishly after you, with Theo still eyeing him in a smirk.

“ _Say anything to Worick and you’re dead,_ ” he motioned to the doctor.

Theo held out his hand, “No, no, no. I’m afraid that’s a request with a very high price tag, you hopeless idiot.”

= = =

Even though he hadn’t seen you since that kiss, you had seeped into his pores, and it was showing in his every day actions. Nicolas was trying not to be so cold and distant with people, especially when he knew they were suffering… like Alex. It didn’t matter what had happened between the two before, it mattered that Alex was alone and in serious mental breakdown.

Buttoning his dress shirt in preparation for the Cristiano party, Nicolas actually felt good about himself for a change. He had seen Alex trembling and taking on that familiar zoned out glaze to her blue eyes, and he knew what was coming. 

“ _Nearly everyone here has something eating away at their mind. No one should have to suffer that alone, Nicolas!_ ”

He heard those words of yours loud and clear and they urged him forward. Alex needed someone to find her and pull her out of that pit she was sinking into, and Nic knew he could do that. 

Calming her down had been as easy as a touch to remind her to stay present, safe in the now, where Barry was dead. It eased his own pain to know he had calmed someone else’s hopelessness. He wanted to thank you for the small gift that had been to him.

He hoped the night wouldn’t be too troublesome. If he could get done with the job and leave early, Nicolas wasn’t going to wait another night without seeing your face.

**_ To Be Continued… _ **


	11. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part has quite a bit of death and gore so if that it not your thing, steer clear.

* Note: This part has quite a bit of death and gore so if that it not your thing, steer clear. *

_ The stench of blood was everywhere. They had been dragging you for miles, back towards South Gate. If they hadn’t filled you with drugs beforehand, you might have been able to struggle free.  _

_ The two awful men, who had been staying at your boarding house and tormenting you for days, were taking you back to your mother. You would finally have to face your retribution for killing your father. _

_ Somehow, the Corsicans had learned of your past and this was the perfect chance to repay you for attacking one of their own and helping these disgusting Twilights all these years. _

_ As they pulled you and the two little Twilight boys through Cristiano territory towards the south, the iron scent was undeniable. It was dark but you were still able to make out mutilated bodies of dozens of Twilights all along the way. Your cries were muffled, but one of the young boys got free of his gag and screamed at the horrible sight of his fallen people. _

_ The Corsican thugs killed him on the spot, right in front of you. You tried to scream out as well but it was muffled behind your gag. You found yourself thankful that the boy wasn’t given the chance to know what was coming and hadn’t felt a thing. The thought made you feel revolting. _

_ You couldn’t even reach for him with the way your hands were bound. Now it was just you and the little boy who had already lost his mother that day. _

_ It was easy to move through the abandoned District One. They moved very carefully past the line of the Abandoned Zone and the Paulklee Guild’s territory, wanting to enter South Gate as near your old family estate as possible. When they reached the end of it, just before crossing into South Gate, the shortest of your captors snatched up your sweet little charge by the ankle.  _

_ “No! Leave him alone! Don’t kill him, you bastards!” were the muffled words you screamed into your gag. _

_ The pair laughed at you cruelly, and your friend looked at you, eyes pleading for help the way Lettie’s had. You struggled hard against your restraints but it was useless. You were powerless again, the same as you had been against your parents. _

_ The man holding the little Twilight was the worst type of monster imaginable. First he caressed the boy softly, telling him not to be afraid. He whispered disgustingly next to his ear and the boy trembled in fear. Then the man slit his throat slowly and left him hung upside down to bleed out and brutally suffocate. The tears poured from your (e/c) eyes and sobs ripped from your throat but still you were forced to watch the child suffer. _

_ “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” you shouted as he took his last garbled breaths. Then they dropped him to a heap on the concrete and dragged you onward, not even giving you a chance to hold his poor lifeless form. _

_ You didn’t know what fate awaited you when you reached your mother, but you promised yourself that whatever happened, you would kill these two bastards with your own hands. _

_ ******** _

Shortly after arriving home, there was a ring at the boarding house bell. You tried to compose yourself and make sure you weren’t still terribly flushed before opening the door. You hadn’t been able to quell the fire in your belly or the spinning in your head after that incredible kiss from Nicolas. You took a deep breath and opened the door.

Standing there were two men wearing slightly shabby clothes and grins which made you slightly uncomfortable.

“Can I help you, gentlemen?” you asked politely.

“Yes, ma’am,” started the shorter of the pair. “We’re looking for a room to rent. Just got into town.”

You hesitated, not used to Normals wanting to rent from you. “Come inside and we’ll see if my place is what you’re looking for,” you requested.

The dark, taller man smiled sweetly and said, “Allow me,” as he pushed the door further open so you would no longer be holding it. You walked to the couch in the sitting room and gestured for the pair to sit before taking your own seat in your favorite armchair.

The men seemed pleasant enough and after discussing rates and amenities, they offered you a sum that would have been difficult to refuse. Still, they gave you an uneasy feeling in your gut. You told yourself you were being paranoid when the tall one next spoke.

Pulling his shaggy, dark brown hair back from his eyes with a clip, he said quietly, “We heard about what you do for the Twilight community, and we just wanted to say how much we admire that. It’s the whole reason we wanted to board here.”

The comment was appreciated but still surprised you. “I’m awfully sorry, where did you say you were from again? And I don’t believe I caught your names.” You smiled back without a trace of apprehension on your face.

The shorter man responded, “How rude of us! I apologize, ma’am! This is Franklin Jones and my name is Andreas Pimetto. Everyone just calls me Andre, though.” He took your hand and gave it a kiss while you tried not to show the slight disgust you were feeling. Andre’s black mustache tickled the back of your hand in a most unpleasant manner. As you continued giving your best smile, he added, “We used to be mercenaries in East Gate, but it just got to be too much. Hated how the hunting seemed to be picking back up, ya know? Frankie and I just needed a damn break from the bullshit.”

You tried forcing yourself to relax and commented, “I know all about trying to get away from the bullshit, Mr. Pimetto.”

“Andre,” he said rubbing his closely shorn black hair. “If we’re gonna be livin’ here, I’d really like to be called Andre.”

You hesitated momentarily before saying, “Well, Andre…Franklin…let’s head into my office, and you can fill out the lease agreement if you’re ready.”

You found it somewhat ridiculous on your part that after all of these years, Normals like yourself made you more uncomfortable than Twilights. Hoping it was just your innate fear, you signed the two men on to take the remaining rooms at your inn.

At dinner that night, the new guests exchanged pleasant enough conversation, and everyone seemed pleased with the additions. Nina wasn’t home and you assumed she would stay at Theo’s clinic with the good doctor to watch over their most frequent patient. You would introduce her soon.

In the morning, she wandered in exhausted and headed straight for her room, but you were able to at least tell her about the new boarders. The pair of travelers had already left early that morning on some errand, and you told Nina you would make sure to introduce them when she woke. 

During breakfast, you noticed the mother Twilight looked very exhausted herself and the boys as well. You hoped everyone wasn’t about to come down with something. That would be just your luck. After making the usual meal for the Twilights, you thought you might go to check how Nico was feeling. If Nina was home, then that meant he’d been sent home. You were sure he would be fine once the downers were out of his system and his Celebrer levels returned to normal, but then that wasn’t really the feeling you intended on checking.

You had fixed dinner completely distracted by that kiss, thought about it as you washed your hair before bed, dreamed about it, and woke up thinking about it still. It was overpowering nearly every other thought in your brain. Now that he’d had a night to sleep on it, you had to go to him. You had to see if he was filled with regret or if he would pull you into his room and continue that addicting, much-too-short, interrupted kiss.

Finally ready to head out, you made it two steps from the stoop before you saw a familiar pair approaching you. 

“Oh, Miss (l/n), glad we caught you!” said Andre. “Could we see you in the office for a moment?”

“Is everything alright, gentlemen?” you questioned, annoyed that they were interrupting your quest.

“It’s fine, ma’am,” added Franklin in his deep, gruff voice. “We just have a few things we were wondering about Ergastulum that we hoped you wouldn’t mind clearing up.”

You sighed internally, but ever the good hostess, you agreed and led them to your office. 

Jones closed the door behind them and you took your seat behind your desk, while they sat opposite in the wooden chairs provided for guests. 

“Now then, fellas, what can I do for you today?” you asked cheerfully.

Equally cheerfully, with wonderful grins on their faces, Andre said, “You can keep your ass in this boarding house until we force you to leave.

You sat stunned, not sure if that was even what you had just heard. “Excuse me?” you managed.

Franklin continued, “He said, ‘You can keep your ass here.’” A soft chuckle escaped and his features suddenly looked very menacing.

“I don’t know what you think you’re playing here, gentlemen, but I’m not someone you can just order around,” you said, as you reached discreetly under the desk drawer.

“It’s not there,” said Andre.

“What?” you asked, fingers beginning to feel frantically.

“Your pistol,” he calmly added. “Neither are the guns under the toilet lids or in the bookshelf.”

You no longer carried guns on your person, determined not to be tempted into killing anymore people every again. Still, you weren’t stupid enough to leave your tenants completely unprotected, and you had a stash of options you could get to, if it became necessary. These men had come prepared for that. Quickly, you filled with anger and fear. You stood rapidly, but they both pulled out their own weapons and pointed them your direction, chambers ready to fire.

“Hn,” laughed the taller, shaggy haired Franklin.

“I’m afraid, you’ll have to manage the cooking with spoons for the next few days, as well,” replied Andre again. “Not a sharp object left in the whole place.”

You sat down again as your heartrate increased dramatically. “What do you want?”

“No, sorry. It’s not time for you to know that yet, but Corsica promised I got to tell you when the time comes. Can’t let you get away with assaulting my girl,” said Pimetto.

You thought briefly of the prostitute you had pommeled outside of the Corsican brothel and cursed your foul temper for landing you here.

“And believe me, bitch,” he continued, “you’re gonna pay big. Corsica is a Boss for a reason, and he went through a great deal to find the _best_ way to make an example of someone like you. Imagine his delight to find out what you’re really worth?”

“Dre!” scolded his partner.

“Sorry, sorry. Too early for that,” the buzzed haired man responded. “Just get a little excited.”

They both stared at you long and hard until you chose to speak again. “What makes you think I won’t run?” you asked them.

Pimetto started, that slimy smile disappearing for a much more vicious expression, “You so much as breathe a _hint_ that something’s wrong to anyone, we’ll kill all three of these Tag scum you’ve been playing house with in this shithole.”

You tensed and balled your fists as Jones added, “And we like to make the kiddies watch us gut their mothers, so I kinda hope you do make a move. Makes things more fun.”

“You sick fuck,” you spat. “If Corsica knows so much about me, then he must know the Tag that protects me will never let this slide. He stops by every day, how are you going to keep him from noticing?” you questioned with a very defiant tone.

The pair laughed at each other. “Oh, the Boss has a real nice distraction coming up for that asshole Handyman _and_ his partner. We think he’ll be more than a little occupied.”

“On top of that, one of us will be watching you for the next few days until the boss makes his big move. I mean, watching you closely…ya get me? You even try to give a hint beforehand of what’s going on, not only do I promise we’ll kill your Tags,” said Jones, “I’ll let Andre loose on that nurse you got staying here. He likes to start on the young ones.”

“Bastards!” you shouted as you lunged for them, not able to take it any longer. You managed to land a solid punch before Franklin tackled you to the ground, holding you in place firmly with the weight of his massive form.

“Looks like she wants a demonstration, Frankie. I told you she wouldn’t make us wait long for a reason to slice these beasts! I’ll go get one of those boys,” added Andre, flicking open a switchblade as he chuckled.

“No!” you begged. “Don’t touch them. Don’t touch _any_ of them.” You stopped struggling against your captor and lay there defeated. “I’ll do what you want. You can take me wherever you want, just…don’t hurt those children, please!” They turned on those sick grins once more, but gave no answer. You questioned, “Do we have a deal?”

“We don’t decide the deals, honey,” said Andre as he ran the blade lightly down your face, careful not to press into the flesh. “We just make sure Corsica gets what he wants, and he wants something you’re gonna get for him.”

As they exited the room and left you trembling in the floor, you heard Nina call out, “(F/n)! Are you down here? I wanted to meet the new… Oh, hi, sir! My name is Nina.” You heard Andreas begin his charming act as Franklin Jones leaned back in the room, pointed toward the girl and made a lewd gesture. You glared at him, but still you nodded, and he closed the door.

You heard Jones introduce himself and tell Nina you were on a phone call, so she should come back later.

You felt disgusted, afraid, and completely blind-sided. What could Uranos Corsica possibly have on you that would take so much effort? This wasn’t just about punching a prostitute in the face. If he had wanted you dead for aiding Twilights the last several years, it would have already happened. There was only one thing you could think of that the well-known Tag-hating mafia Boss would want. He must have discovered who your family was, what your parents had done as his ally, and how you had ended your own father. He must be selling you back to your mother to finally face your payback.

You thought maybe you could somehow alert the young mother that stayed with you. Her rank was only a D/3 but you hoped maybe it might be enough to get rid of these bastards. That idea proved useless once you made it to dinner. The tiredness from this morning had increased to barely functioning at the table. You knew the look all too well. It was the only way your father had ever been able to dirty his own hands or that you had been able to simply murder the Tags you shot. These Corsicans had somehow made sure that whatever your guests were taking, it wasn’t Celebrer. They were weakened and hardly able to walk around without wincing in pain.

You thought perhaps you could send a note with Nina or phone Worick or Chad, but your captors hadn’t been lying when they said you would be under constant surveillance. One of them never left your sight. They monitored if you received a call and you weren’t allowed to make any. Having removed the sharp objects, there wasn’t a single damn pen you could find. The horrid men took turns sleeping so that Andreas watched you throughout the entire day, and Franklin watched the full night, not dozing off once. They humiliated you further by not even letting you shower or use the toilet alone. 

The others didn’t notice how you constantly had a shadow. Nina was allowed to come and go and was gone for long hours at a time working with Dr. Theo as more injured Tags began appearing. The goons expected you to mask your anxiety completely towards her. You played the part as they wanted, worrying more and more for the suffering Twilights in your care. Their condition was deteriorating fairly quickly.

Your only hope now was for Nicolas to show up, but that was something you didn’t expect. You felt he would be waiting for you to make the next move after he kissed you, like you certainly would have. His insecurities would keep him from coming to you. Ignoring him completely wasn’t going to read well to the man either, and he would only keep a further distance the longer it went on. You knew if he could just look into your eyes, it wouldn’t matter how good your mask was, Nic would know something was wrong. He would know, and he would take care of these vile brutes.

Out on the stoop one of the days, you had that familiar feeling that Nicolas was near and turned your head to try and find his face. Loudly, Pimetto shouted, “Hey! Eyes forward or you go back inside!” He wanted to make sure you weren’t given a chance to look anywhere but him. There was no way to get Nic’s attention without chancing Andreas noticing and killing your friends…the ones you had taken a vow to protect when you took them on as tenants.

What seemed like forever was merely two full days of that routine. On the third morning the men seemed especially cheery. The fake friendliness was making you nauseas. Late in the afternoon they brought you back to the office, locking the door behind them.

“It’s time for you to do a little something for us, honey,” crooned Jones. “The boss needs us to buy some time without the Tag looking for you…even with his distraction tonight.”

“We know that boy has a need for you. We know you got him wrapped around that finger, thinking he’s some kind of human man,” sneered Andreas.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you tried.

“Won’t do you any good to lie. Someone real close to those Handymen seems to be in the business of selling their secrets to the Boss. It’s coming in real handy lately!” the short, mustached monster continued.

“Now,” began Franklin, “I’ve got this pen here in my pocket and you’re going to write a little letter just like we tell you to. Try anything funny and I brought you a present.” Pimetto exited momentarily.

“That’s ridiculous, I’ll die before I write—“ you stopped cold as Andreas reentered dragging the very weakened Twilight mother behind him by her hair.

He flicked open his blade and stuck her deep in her abdomen. She was too weak to even cry out. “Now then,” continued Jones, “we’re gonna kill this dumb bitch to show you we’re dead serious, hon. If you still refuse, we’ll drag in the boys one at a time. Keep it up, I told you what I’ll let Dre do with that sweet little beauty out there. I may even kill her after, just for fun.”

Your eyes met with his frantically. “No! I’m sorry! I’ll do it…please, you don’t have to kill her. I’ll write what you tell me.” You couldn’t let her die. She had become your friend. She had come so far from the street rat you had initially discovered, this couldn’t be the end for her. Nic was a grown man, he could handle this himself.

Your whole demeanor begged them to spare her. 

“Sorry, hun,” came the gruff, hateful voice. “I already told you, we don’t decide the deals. We just make sure Corsica gets what he wants.” He lifted his hand towards his partner, and you watched horrified as he slit her throat and her eyes drained of life before you.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to sob. You wanted to kill these men and make them bleed and suffer like they deserved. You wanted to try to overpower them, despite how useless it would be.

Instead, you pictured the now motherless boy upstairs playing with his friend and completely unaware of the danger he was in. As Franklin Jones, handed over the pen, he gave you the gist of what the letter should say. Instead of jabbing him through his throat in a futile attempt to make it past Pimetto’s gun and blade, you placed the pen to the page in front of you.

_ _

> _ “Dear Nicolas, _
> 
> _ I’m so sorry for letting things get this far out of hand…” _

_ _

**_ To Be Continued… _ **


	12. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** **SPOILER WARNING:** If you are only watching the anime series and not caught up in the manga then this chapter contains spoilers, so it's up to you whether or not to continue. I debated about including it but ultimately, it was important to the framework for the rest of the piece. ***
> 
> This chapter gave me a good deal of trouble while I debated which direction to take my story. It's a much shorter part than the others, but is needed to move the story into South Gate where Reader-chan was taken. Sorry it took so much longer. I'm still not totally happy with it.
> 
> I hope you fans of the story still like it. Lol. The next parts will see more Nic and Reader back around each other. ^_^
> 
> Here are links to the first three chapters and the two chapters immediately proceeding this one. The rest can be found in the Gangsta. folder in my gallery.  
> [Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322)   
> [Part 2](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556936375)   
> [Part 3](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/557529341)   
> * * * *  
> [Part 10](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/560159806)   
> [Part 11](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/560525762) 
> 
>  
> 
> *The cover art is a lovely piece by [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com) Check out some of her other great work!*  
> [Just You And Me](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556727518) 

*** **SPOILER WARNING:** If you are only watching the anime series and not caught up in the manga then this chapter contains spoilers, so it's up to you whether or not to continue. I debated about including it but ultimately, it was important to the framework for the rest of the piece. *** _Smoke still lingered, and the ashes floated through the surrounding air. Alex hugged Nina as the little nurse buried her face against Benedetto’s dress. Nicolas was wishing they hadn’t come along with him. There wasn’t much left of Nina’s home—of your boarding house._

_ Chad had called Theo’s clinic and told the doctor that he had needed the Handymen right away—concerning you. Worick was nowhere to be found after leaving the clinic with Miles trailing earlier, so Nicolas was going by himself, injuries be damned. Nina refused to let him leave without her. It was you this concerned and  _ her _home! She had to know what was going on. Seeing how determined his little associate was, Doc Theo demanded Nic not leave without the nurse along. He motioned for Alex to join them so there would be someone to keep a close eye on the girl, if things went bad._

_ Nicolas was still quite injured to the point that he would need a crutch to support his weight and keep the wound on his leg from opening again and again. He hated it. It made him feel weak, which was definitely not something he was used to experiencing. _

_ Arriving in sight of your inn, finding it smoldering and hardly anything remaining, Nina and Alex gasped. Nic felt anger. He knew he had been a monster in his life, but everything that had happened these last few days, even he didn’t deserve. He wanted to kill everyone responsible. Anyone who had been responsible for this pain was going to pay by the time this was all said and done. He was in no shape to handle it yet, but they would pay. _

_ Wounded or not, you were his top priority now. If you were still alive, it wouldn’t be for long. Finding you was paramount and he would manage, despite his leg. The problem was that he had no idea where to begin. He began by carefully travelling over the ruins of your boarding house, hoping for any small clue. _

_ “Nico!” Nina waved her arms frantically, motioning for him to come where she’d been crouching. There was a small black lockbox that she had uncovered from beneath ashes and hunks of building. Nic picked it up. The metal still held a little warmth from going through the flames. He took it over where Chad, Cody, and Alex were standing. _

_ Chad winced before meeting Nic’s eyes. “Hand it here. I’ll pry it open. I don’t know how you’ll feel about what’s inside here, Nicolas.” _

_ Brown’s curiosity was unbearable now. Chad used small tools to pick open the lock and handed it to the Twilight. Before releasing it, he pulled it back and made sure Nic was paying attention. Everyone stared at the pair while Inspector Adkins said, “If I have to pay you after this to find her, I will. You name your price, Brown. Whatever you may think, she’s a good girl, and I think of her as my own. I promised to protect her, and I’ve let her down.” His eyes seemed misted as he spoke. _

_ Nic was terribly confused now…and worried. Why would Chad think he would not do whatever it took to get you back? There couldn’t possibly be anything that damning in this little box. The old man stuck the box back in Nico’s large hands, but the men continued staring seriously at each other. _

_ “Just…get her home, Nic—even if it’s only her body. She can’t be left in that place alone,” finished Chad cryptically. _

_ Nicolas felt sick over the fact that this seasoned veteran of the police force already thought you might be dead. At least Adkins seemed to have an idea of where you might be, but that was only more bewildering. Nic found himself desperately wishing he had let you tell him yourself about your past, like you had wanted. He tried to keep his hands from shaking noticeably as he opened the box. _

********

Before Worick had gone back to the Monroe mansion, he stopped by the boarding house. You weren’t there. No one was there. Nothing was gone, but it was unusual for you to leave your inn completely unattended like that. Worick called to leave word with Alex and then continued on his way to see Danny.

Nic would have come for you instantly, only he hadn’t received Worick’s message. Alex later explained that she had been frightened. She didn’t want to be left alone, and she knew Nicolas would leave to look for you. She wrote down the message, as Worick had asked, but kept the scrap paper with her, not sure when she would give it to Brown.

As Nicolas entered the Cristiano car to look for Constance, Alex apologized and slipped the folded square into his hand. Nic was angry at Benedetto for keeping it from him, but there was no time to dwell on that now. Worick hadn’t noticed any signs of danger, so he would help Marco find Connie and then he would look for wherever you had gone.

He hadn’t found a sign of you or Constance in the heavy rain. He needed more information about what had been happening during his recovery. Checking on the massacre at the Guild, Nicolas saw something that turned his blood cold. Besides a painfully familiar pair of black high-top sneakers among the pile of bodies, he saw a little Twilight family that was all too recognizable for him. They had been found scattered on different ends of the city, the mother near District 9 and the son at the edge of the abandoned District 1. Memories of all the times he had shared dinner with this family flashed, before his mind worked rapidly to put together how they could be here. The part that disturbed him the most was that they hadn’t been decimated like all of the other Tags. Only their throats appeared slit. The answer had to lie with those two new tenants.

Nico had to get back across to the other side. You weren’t just missing from the inn or ignoring him for kissing you. He knew now that you must be in serious danger. He walked ahead of Galahad, and when the manager of Bastard’s was safely back with Miss Cristiano, Nic rushed to Theo’s clinic to see if you had turned up there or if Nina had gotten any word. Upon arriving, he found the clinic in a frenzy over Worick’s, Miles’, and Diego’s wounds and the mass of dead Twilights left from the night at Bastard’s.

Nicolas knew not to get in Theo’s way while he operated, so he began helping clear away the deceased, distracted by the chaos, until he saw Nina clutching one of the smaller bodies and sobbing.

“Nina,” he called.

She looked up, blue eyes devastatingly full of tears. He read her lips trembling out the words, “Nico, look.”

He did and he couldn’t control sinking to his knees next to the girl. In her arms was her friend from home. The other Twilight boy she had lived with at your boarding house for months was dead, slashed across the throat the same as your other tenants. His hopes of finding you alive wavered greatly. Nic took the boy’s body from the destroyed nurse and stood from the bed. He couldn’t tell her yet what he had already seen. It would be too much.

He went all the way back where he had just come from to lay the boy in with the rest of his people. Despite the stares he received from the other Tags, Nicolas climbed carefully into the pit and moved both boys to rest with the young mother that had cared for them both. It wasn’t natural to have a funeral for Twilights, but when Nicolas left the pyre pit, he didn’t hand over their identifying tags to Hausen or the other Paulklee members. He wouldn’t let these three be erased by Ergastulum’s government.

When he returned to the clinic, Worick and the others were patched up and the beds where the Tags had been were now pristine as if nothing had ever been in them. Nina was sitting in the furthest bed, looking wrecked. Nic sat beside her and held her little hand. She looked up at him with those overwhelmingly pained eyes and he felt completely useless.

“Nico?” she questioned. “Where are the others?”

How could he tell her? They were part of her family all of this time. She seemed to be barely hanging on as it was. He couldn’t hide it from her, though. Nina was much too bright for that. She saw right through him after he had taken much too long to respond.

“I see,” her mouth quivered. “Where’s (f/n), Nico?”

He swallowed thickly as he signed, “ _I don’t know. She’s been missing at least three days._ ”

“Since I left to come here,” Nina nodded and then froze. It made him very uncomfortable that his cheerful little friend wasn’t speaking, wasn’t moving, and was no longer even crying. He pulled the child into his lap and stroked her hair comfortingly, trying to help anchor her to something. Nicolas sat there with her for ages. As he sat in the silence, he wondered where you were.

So many thoughts raced through his mind. None of them seemed realistic. Had you been murdered? Had you caused this? Was this what you were always attempting to tell him? Had you been taken? Did you just leave town? He had no answers that seemed even plausible for him at the moment. He hated himself for even considering that you might be responsible.

He felt like the most likely answer was the worst option of all. You were already dead, the same as the others. Nic tried to keep from thinking that because that idea made him feel like he was drowning. The image of your throat slashed and dying alone flashed through his mind. He shuddered. It was clear now that the ridiculous letter had been forced, and he cursed himself for not coming to you sooner. Clearer still was that all of this _must_ have something to do with the two Normals you had taken on, but Nico didn’t even know where to start.

Even if they had taken you, you were bound to be dead by now. That’s the way things worked in this city. That was the way things worked for Nicolas. He had done this to you. By letting himself want you—hope for you—you were destined to be ripped from him brutally. He had known that would be the outcome from the first moment he felt anything real for you. Still he had wanted you.

That night, he was glad Worick had convinced Alex to return to singing at the club. Nina needed a distraction and someplace to stay. There was no way she could stay in the boarding house alone. Nic allowed himself a moment to relax against the speakers and watch Nina smile brightly one more time, before he went back to the clinic. He was going to stop Erica and that kid. Whatever it took, he would stop them. What was left to him if you were dead and he was the cause? Theo gave him the experimental upper he had created, and Nicolas was fully prepared not to return to any of his friends. 

The consistently tortured Tag had experience many appalling days in his life. This one could easily have topped them all. You were gone, possibly murdered, along with the Twilights you’d been housing. The Paulklee Guild had suffered a great deal of losses at the hands of a third team of Destroyers. His people were being slaughtered like cattle all around the city. His friends were all in pain physically or emotionally. Constance was still missing and either badly injured or dead. Nina was near the breaking point, and now Nicolas lay seizing in a clinic bed, refusing treatment so that Theo would not stop trying to save Yang’s life.

The worst of it, Monroe had betrayed them all. Everything was crashing down around him, and excruciating pain was wracking his body as it came down from Theo’s experiment. If he survived, he would kill Monroe himself for what he had done…how he had betrayed the Twilight people, how he had mentored Worick and Nic, how he had caused the destruction of the orphanage and the abduction of Erica, and how he had raised Delico and Yang like his own sons, only to betray them in such a way that Delico had shot his brother through the heart.

Nicolas knew Delico hadn’t been able to control that action, not when Yang had moved against his contract holder. It was in his blood. It hadn’t been a conscious thought on the younger Tag’s part. He also knew that if Yang died because of his childhood best friend, Delico would never forgive himself. Having known them since they were very young boys, Nic wouldn’t let that happen because of his own failures. Yang was first priority, even if it meant Nic died right here on the table during his seizure.

Nicolas could feel Worick holding him down and he wanted to be still, but it was no use. He was thankful when Alex appeared and held onto his hand, anchoring him to reality. A gentle gesture through all of this suffering was exactly what he needed not to give up right then. He heard your words again, “ _ No one should have to suffer that alone, Nicolas! Stop doing that! Quit acting like you’re all alone in this! _ ” He relaxed his grip and finally let himself rest.

As he slept, Nico dreamed of you. He saw your beautiful (e/c) eyes, (h/c) hair, and that smile he loved so much. He felt your warm arms and gentle kiss and groaned as all of it was wrenched forcefully from him again and again and again. The nightmare gave way to a peaceful dream of something completely foreign. All of Brown’s friends and he himself were actually happy. Things were calm and he was able to be free. He was able to live as he chose, and in that dream he chose to be with you. He dreamed a whole life for the pair of you, along with his little family that had formed during his time in this city. Then his father appeared and burned it all to the ground, proving to Nic he wasn’t even safe in dream.

Waking finally, he was determined to find you. Determined to fight for you or bring home your body if it came to that, and _then_ he would deal with Monroe. Trying to stand was a mistake. His leg was in agony. He grabbed the bed curtain and it ripped from the bar as he fell to the floor. Alex tried to help him, but he pushed her away. He needed to get to his katana. Nico had to get out of here fast, but his thigh was beginning to bleed profusely once more. Nina was walking towards him. It didn’t matter. She and Theo could patch him, and he would come for you then.

Worick was gone. He had ripped out his own IV and left in a daze. No one knew where. He hadn’t told Theo or Alex or even Nicolas. Nic would have to tell his contract holder before just disappearing to search for you. Worick wouldn’t be happy, with things falling apart like they were, but his bodyguard hoped desperately that his friend would understand—that the friendship between them would stand strong.

When Nina told him about his blade, it was too much. He didn’t bother moving from his knees on the clinic floor. He couldn’t stand another moment of loss. Without his sword, he was nothing. There was no more Benriya. His tags lay on the floor. He had no purpose anymore. How could he help you like this? How could he defeat anyone? Still weak from his injuries and the overdose, broken in spirit, Nico leaned forward into his little Nina’s comforting clutch. She felt like the only thing he had left now, and he buried his face against her shoulder and sobbed.

**To Be Continued…**


	13. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This witch, though! Seriously, Reader-chan. Punch her in the face. Kick her in all of her taints... ^_~
> 
> Here are links to the first two parts and the previous two parts:  
> [Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322)   
> [Part 2](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556936375)   
> [Part 11](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/560525762)   
> [Part 12](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/561405355) 
> 
> **
> 
> A little mood music for hating on reader-chan's asshole of a mother...there is also a version on YouTube set to a nice little AMV of Nicolas. ^_^ I would suggest giving it a listen _after_ you read, because you're really going to be hating her after this chapter. Video: [[link]](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://youtu.be/bt64e2eRfJI) Hated You From Hello -Downplay Comments are my lifeforce!! *Cover image is by [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com) Check out her other work!* [Just You And Me](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556727518) 

A little mood music for hating on reader-chan's asshole of a mother...there is also a version on YouTube set to a nice little amv of Nicolas. ^_^ I would suggest giving it a listen _after_ you read, because you're really going to be hating her after this chapter. Video: [[link]](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://youtu.be/bt64e2eRfJI) Hated You From Hello -Downplay _Nic’s body was convulsing on the floor of the small cell the two of you had been locked inside. Both of your hands had been bound behind your back to stop you from being able to sign, and the lights had been shut off so Nicolas couldn’t even read your lips._

_ You shouted at him anyway and tried desperately to move towards him, but the guard had locked your handcuffs around a large piece of piping in the wall. They had just left. You were sure they weren’t far, but no one was coming. _

_ He was going to die if they didn’t give him an injection of Celebrer right away. _

_ “He’s seizing!” you shouted. There was no response. “Come on! Please! I’ll do whatever you want, just give him the injection!” You could hear them just outside the cell but couldn’t see them through the small window in the upper half of the large metal door. “Fuck!” you yelled. “Nic! Nicolas, please don’t do this right now!” He couldn’t hear you, of course, but there were no options left to you and logic was far from your mind.  _

_ “Damn it, you bastards!” Your voice was screeching now as you began to sob and kick the heavy door repeatedly with your feet. “Get in here! Get your asses in here! He’s dying! Give him the shot before it’s too late!” _

_ Despite your kicks, screams, and pleas, no one entered the room. Nicolas passed out cold and you knew he had to have that injection within the next few seconds or he would be gone. _

_ “Fine! Fine, damn it! I love him! I love this one, mother! Your daughter is in love with a Tag!” you shouted louder than you thought possible. “Give him the meds, please. Please, mother! I love him! ‘You hear me?” _

_ The lights flickered to life, and the cell door opened. Two guards restrained Nicolas for when he came to, as your mother eyed you with great satisfaction. A third guard inserted the injection and Nic’s body tensed awake with a deep gasp and then began to relax. You could see that his lip was bleeding from where he had been straining to stay alive for you. You didn’t imagine he would be able to handle much more of this—not with the way they were cruelly withholding his drugs. _

_ The tears continued to stream down your dirtied cheeks and you struggled to try to get closer to your love once more, mouthing to him that you were there, now that the lights were shining again. You weren’t sure if he was even lucid enough to see you, still you tried.  _

_ You knew he couldn’t hear you, but if he could just see your lips…”I’m here, Nic. I’m right here. Please just see me. Look at me, Nicolas. I love you. Please don’t go. I love you, Nic.” The guards kept pushing his face away from you, and your sobs grew weak as you realized he hadn’t seen. _

_ Your mother’s voice cut unfeelingly through the commotion to your ringing ears. You hated yourself for telling her—for showing her now that he meant a great deal more to you than you had let on. Things would only get worse from here…much worse. _

_ The look on her face made your blood run cold, as she said, “How very, very interesting.”  _

********

Standing in your grand living room after all of this time felt surreal. It was familiar, but in a way that made you want to vomit. This was where you had been before killing your father and fleeing to Ergastulum at 15 years old. You imagined the blood pooling on the white floor as you had raided his pockets and left him lying there.

Now you stood in front of your mother, viewing her to be older and looking more hateful than ever before. She smiled sickeningly at you and motioned for her bodyguards to untie your wrists. As they did, your original captors decided to speak.

Andreas began, “So, madam, about our payment…”

She turned her head to look at him, disgusted that he had dared to speak. You knew how rude she considered it for someone to address her without permission. “Of course,” she faked, “just a moment, gentlemen.”

The woman with the same (e/c) eyes as yours stepped over and gave you an uncomfortable hug. “Hello, darling. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? How have you been, my sweet girl?”

She pulled away, face looking devilish. You said nothing and scowled. 

“I don’t think there’s a need to pretend we don’t know how this will play out. Do you?” her malicious voice came. You shook your head briefly. Delaying the inevitable only meant longer suffering.

“Shall we get on with it?” she asked.

While staring her down, you heard a slight scuffle and looked to see Corsica’s two men held on their knees by your mother’s guards. She stepped over next to them and a third guard placed a gun in your hand.

“Kill them,” she said nonchalantly.

You aimed the gun at the two men who were now freaking out and pulled back its hammer.

“You can’t do this!” shouted Franklin to your cruel mother. “The boss will be very unhappy with you, madam.” Your mother laughed at his idiot statement. _Fools_ , you thought to yourself.

“Do you think a man like Corsica has any need for two morons like you? He’s a big fan of the family’s work. I didn’t even have to offer him money. Your boss said I could dispose of you however I like. Now be a good sport and do shut up.” Turning to you, she added, “Consider it a welcome home gift, my dear. We’ll have a little fun, just like the old days.”

You admitted to yourself that you quite enjoyed the expressions of panic on your fake boarders’ faces. They were too stunned still to even move their mouths. Unfortunately, you could do nothing about it now... It wasn’t that you didn’t want to kill the men who had destroyed your friend and the two small boys. You wanted to slit their throats the way they had done to the Twilights. You would deal with them later. Right now, you had a more urgent need to fulfill. The emotion overwhelmed you, and you acted on it instantly.

Aiming the weapon at your mother, you squeezed the trigger. The gun clicked but nothing more happened.

She laughed at you like it was hysterical as she replied, “Still as big a fool as ever. Did you honestly think I would place a real loaded gun in your hand, (f/n)? What a disappointment you still are!”

You rolled your eyes at her and tossed the gun to her. It landed with a crack against the marbled floor. “No,” you began, “I didn’t honestly think that. I only hoped luck would be on my side…just the once.”

Your mother chuckled and shook her head at you again. “Poor baby,” she pouted. “You must really want me dead, don’t you?” Then her features grew cold as her voice echoed through the sizable room. “Tough shit! You took my husband from me, you replaced my daughter with this incompetent fool!” she gestured to you. “I will make you pay so dearly, sweet child. I have loads of fun games planned. In fact, I believe your good friend Daniel Monroe is having one sent over very shortly.”

Your stomach tensed as you imagined all the ways your mother had spent the last decade coming up with your punishments. She certainly wouldn’t take it easy on you. Whatever games she had in mind would be horrifying. You realized much more was wrong than you had imagined at the revelation that Daniel Monroe was somehow involved with her plot. Monroe knew Nico had been spending much of his time with you lately because Worick had mentioned it off-handedly. If her games had anything to do with Nic…

You shook the idea out of your head. Brown was much too powerful for these Normals. If your mother was stupid enough to somehow have gotten him here, you wouldn’t have to worry about killing a single one of them yourself. His blade would make quick work of them and the pair of you would easily flee.

“Take them away,” she said to her guards, motioning at Jones and Pimetto. They loudly voiced their indignation, but not a single member of the household cared to listen. You knew they were being dragged down into the basement. 

Your father had his own small cells built down there, as well as what he and your mother referred to as “the lab.” Neither of them had any medical or scientific training but they found it thrilling to conduct countless “experiments” on the Twilights they captured before executing them. The experiments were only to see how much pain they could inflict on the individual before they would be broken enough to beg for death. The things they did to those poor people…it still made you queasy to picture it.

Four days was the amount of time your mother kept you locked in one of the downstairs’ cells. It was dark and damp and it smelled of mold. You listened to Andreas and Franklin complain loudly for the first two days until listening as a guard cut out Dre’s tongue. It was disgusting, and yet you found it oddly satisfying. At least it had shut them up. You wouldn’t have even known they were still there if it weren’t for the once daily opening and closing of their two cell doors.

The guards brought you one small meal a day and your mother delighted in the psychological warfare she barraged you with…like an old picture of Lettie, photos of you and your father smiling arm in arm, an endless loop of the song she used to sing to you before bed. Your agitation level was unbearable. That fourth day, when they took you out of the cell to the lab for another session of physical torture, you felt ready to die. She had spent your previous times in the lab giggling while letting her bodyguards inflict whatever physical pain they wished on you.

Today your mother was dressed as if she were going to a party, giving her an especially psychotic appearance when compared to the dirtied hospital gown she’d forced you to wear. She was grinning and offering you a cup made of thick plastic. You assumed she was afraid you might use a glass one to cut her. You also assumed whatever was in the cup was poisoned and dumped it at her feet. She laughed her obnoxious chuckle.

“Suit yourself. It was only wine. I thought you might want to celebrate. I’ve brought you a surprise, daughter,” she said cryptically. Opening the door to the lab, she finished, “Someone found him passed out a mile from here, overdosed on his Celebrer.”

Your (e/c) eyes widened in horror as you beheld Nicolas hooked to an IV on one of the clinical beds. It took everything you had not to rush to him, but you refrained. It would only give your mother more fodder.

“All the strays in South Gate are brought here, but it’s been years since we’ve had any. So, it makes sense that the only reason this Tag was so near our home would be to come for you. Danny did say he would get him here,” she laughed again. “I asked those two Corsican idiots if they recognized his name from those blasted tags. What do you imagine their answer was, dear?” Your attention was fully on her, but you stayed silent. Your composure annoyed her. “I know he was protecting you in Ergastulum. He would have died out there, so I think you owe me a ‘thank you,’ (f/n),”

He looked dreadful. You doubted they had given him much Celebrer replacement at all. It was likely only enough to keep him from having an attack. It was your mother’s favorite way to toy with Twilights, after all. It was killing you inside to see his destroyed form. He was bandaged everywhere. The left leg of his trousers were soaked through with blood that had since dried. He was extremely pale and his eyes were so dark underneath. 

“What have you done to him?” you asked plainly.

“Kept him alive…for now,” she responded.

You felt sick knowing the answer, but asked anyway. “Why?”

She grinned. “I suspect you’ve let this animal get closer to you than any human should. Your disgusting nature towards these beasts? I suspect you at least consider it a close friend, but if I know how filthy my own daughter is, I’d wager you feel more than that.” She looked at her largest guard who walked over and yanked the IV line from Nico’s arm, which caused his eyes to finally fly open.

Nic tried to reach for the guard, but he was simply too weakened. The size difference between the two easily allowed the man to force the Tag to his bare feet, holding him to a standing position under his arms. Nicolas grimaced in pain, then his heavy dulled eyes made their way forward until they fell on you. He blinked several times, trying to clear away his haze, as if he wanted to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

You couldn’t just say nothing with him like this. Your face full of concern, you whispered out his name. His dark eyes widened as he realized he was really in this room and he tried to step towards you, only to find his knees buckle from too much time forced into that bed.

Your mother put her hand on your shoulder and turned her head away from Nicolas. “I will make you watch him die, (f/n)—slowly, and in great agony. It won’t be swift, and he will _beg_ us to put him out of his misery. Then I’ll leave his body with you in the cell and leave you in there to rot until you’re dead, you little bitch. Your father will get the vengeance he deserves.”

You looked at her in horror. You knew she would be vengeful, but you still couldn’t fathom how a “mother” could speak to and think of her own child this way. She stepped back and motioned forward. The other bodyguard grabbed you roughly by your (h/c) hair and began pulling you to your chamber, as the large one drug Nic behind.

Slamming the door and locking the two of you in there, they left you unconfined. Your new cellmate wasn’t conscious again. The only thing you wanted was to grip Nic tightly, kiss him, check over all of his wounds, and tell him words both of you would know were lies…that everything was going to be fine. 

Your mother had always loved playing these cruel games, and you knew this was exactly what she had in mind. She intended to toy with you, using Nicolas in any way that would make your suffering greater. If you showed too much concern for him, her tormenting would increase. You decided to warn him by hoping that whoever was guarding the two of you didn’t understand sign language.

While longing to rouse him more intimately, you shook his shoulders until he came to again. He gasped, sitting upright rapidly. When he saw you he immediately squeezed you tightly, a choked off cry escaping his throat, but you pushed him away. The look on his face hurt deep down to your bones and already you wished for your death at having dragged him into this disaster. 

“ _Nic,_ ” you signed, “ _they are watching us. My mother is watching. If I let on that I have any romantic feelings for you, she will make this much worse...for both of us. We can’t touch right now, understand?_ ”

He nodded his understanding, looking slightly relieved, albeit pained not to finally have you back in his arms. You mirrored his emotion.

You continued gesturing, “ _I need you. I need to touch you again. I need to make it through so I can. Help me through this, Nic._ ”

“ _I_ **need** _you. That’s why I came. I need you more than you can even imagine. Everything has been destroyed._ ”

“ _What do you mean?_ ”

You sat in the cell floor feeling more and more trapped in despair as Nicolas told you all that had happened in Ergastulum—about finding the boarders, about Monroe’s great betrayal, about your destroyed home, his broken blade, and Chad telling him everything about your past.

“ _You still came?_ ” you signed. Tears poured down your face and you barely managed to say aloud, “But I’m a murderer. I murdered your people.” Your eyes faced the floor, too ashamed to meet his stare.

The sound of metal clinking together made you look up again, and Nicolas had pulled 12 sets of tags from his back pocket, holding them out to you. You cried harder as you took them and looked through the worn names of the people you had killed, clutching them to your chest as you got to Lettie’s set.

Watching you quietly, you could see that Nic wanted to offer you greater comforter. He paused and then signed, “ _You cared about these people. They meant something to you, and Chad told me how your parents forced you into it at age seven. When we get out of this, I’ll tell you about my father. This wasn’t your fault, (f/n)._ ” 

Waiting another moment, he signed, “ _And don’t be ridiculous._ _Of course I would still come for you. I love you, (f/n)._ ” 

Your (e/c) eyes softened from anguish into confusion. How could he love you even now? He was going to die because of you. You knew what it meant for him to admit something like this and it only made you ache more. You didn’t deserve his devotion, but you wanted it with everything you had.

Before you could respond, Nic continued, ” _You made me feel like there was still a reason to go on once. I need that now or I don’t think I’ll survive. There’s nothing left for me. I hope this won’t upset you, I’ve never been good with opening up… but I need this, even if you have to lie to me._ ”

You reached your hand for him instinctively, desperately, and he smacked it away. You tried to keep from looking wounded. It had been your request not to touch.

“ _I won’t make this worse for you. I don’t want her to put you through more pain. Just give me something, (f/n). I **need** you to love me. Tell me you—_ “

Suddenly, the lights went out, plunging the cell into darkness and effectively trapping Nicolas in silence. “No!” you shouted. A flashlight shined into the little window as keys jingled and the door opened. Two men came and bound both of your hands behind each of you.

“Your mother says ‘no more’ with the hand signals,” one of them sneered at you. They shined the flashlights directly into your eyes and Nic’s before exiting quickly and leaving you in the dark, eyes completely disoriented.By the time you were able to focus in the very dim light left to you, you realized that they had left him too long without a dose of Celebrer.

Nicolas was lost in silent black, seizing in the floor.

**To Be Continued…**


	14. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!
> 
> I hope you guys still like it...I had trouble letting go of the fact that Nicolas isn't in a place in this story to be the consummate badass we know and adore after having been broken by everything around him and suffering to stay alive. I mean, he'll definitely become badass and take out plenty of assholes again soon...just probably not in the time I have left in this story I want to tell.  
> Don't worry about Reader-chan's mom, though. No way you'll let that dickhole out of the story alive, dearest reader.
> 
> Links to the first 2 parts and the most recent 2 parts (the rest can be found in my gallery):  
> [Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322)   
> [Part 2](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556936375)   
> then  
> [Part 12](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/561405355)   
> [Part 13](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/561934672) 
> 
>  
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoy it, and as usual, your comments are the food that sustain me! ^_^ [](http://nomnomcookie123.deviantart.com/art/3-455749418) 
> 
> *Cover image is by [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com)  Be sure to give her galleries a look-see.*  
> [Just You And Me](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556727518) 

_He wasn’t sure how long the two of you had been tied in the grand living room. Weak from not caring properly for his original injuries and barely receiving any Celebrer, Nic continued to drift dangerously in and out of consciousness. He would have given up at this point and just let himself go, if it weren’t for the fact that he knew you were still in mortal danger._

_He knew your chairs were back to back and that both of you were restrained with thick straps. No straps could have held him captive if he weren’t this close to death’s doorstep, and he was angry that he could no longer push through. He was failing you in a way he never expected. He had believed from the start that it was only a matter of time before he let you down, but he thought it would be his calloused inability to feel that would destroy you—never that he wouldn’t be able to protect you physically._

_As it was, he wasn’t even entirely sure of what was going on anymore. He drifted in and out, sometimes rather abruptly. Your mother stood to the side, a gun in her hand, and Nico could tell she was taunting you, but there was no way for him to read her lips from this angle. Occasionally, he felt your chair rock forcefully against his as you tried to escape._

_Things had never seemed more silent. He wanted to see you again before he was gone for good, and he didn’t think he had enough left in him to make that happen. Nic wished Worick was there with him for the end. He wanted the two people he cared about most with him for those last breaths._

_Nicolas smelled an extremely familiar cologne mixed with Pall Mall cigarette smoke. Though he knew it was a hallucination, it seemed so real. He felt a great sense of relief wash over him. The familiar scent made him believe  it was a sign that you might make it out. Just a few more moments and he would be free from this life of hell, and you would be safe from the monster._

_Your mother was in front of him again and was very deliberate as she mouthed, “After he’s dead, I’ll leave him on the floor by you so you won’t be alone as you rot away, (f/n).” Nico hadn’t even the strength to glare at her. “Any last words for my daughter, Disgusting Beast? Apologies for existing, perhaps?”_

_“(F/n),” his head was lolling. He clung desperately to consciousness to get the words out, having no idea if they were even loud enough for you to understand. “Thank you for making me believe I could deserve you. Thank you for making me feel you might love me one day. I love you. I’m sorry for the time I wasted to tell you…I love you.”_

_“Enough of these filthy words, Monster!” your mother sneered before spitting in Nico’s eye. She moved to stand at the side once more, and he felt you struggling in your chair again._

_Instead of tensing as your mother pressed the barrel of her gun against his temple, he relaxed, welcoming his death. A gun shot rang out, blood splattered across his face, and Nic’s body slumped limply in his chair._

********

After finally locating Worick and telling him what was happening, Nic felt ill as he waited anxiously for his contract holder’s decision.

“ _Nic,_ ” he signed, “ _I don’t think I can say yes to that, pal._ ”

Nicolas scowled. “ _Then don’t call me ‘pal.’ We aren’t really friends if you’re going to order me to stay here when you know how much I need this, Wallace. I've never asked you for anything like this. I need her._ ” He had never dared say something so out of line to his boss before.

Worick grabbed Nic’s collar. “Hey! Don’t pull that shit with me, Nicolas! You know that’s not why I don’t want to say yes! Look at yourself, for God’s sake, stubborn asshole! What good are you going to do anyone in this shape?”

The Twilight held up two injectors filled with uppers that Theo had given him.

“Damn it, Theo!” Worick cursed. “What are you gonna do when you crash, idiot?!” he yelled at his friend. “What will you do if I’m not there to drag your ass back to the clinic?”

“ _Come with me_ ,” Nicolas signed.

Worick looked torn, but ultimately defeated. “ _I can’t. If I don’t do something now, the government’s going to kill every single one of you Tags!_ ”

Nic looked at his friend, eyes wide. He didn’t know Worick was this serious about still fighting this losing battle. His demeanor seemed to shift someplace dark as he thought about it, and it was intimidating on the large man. Still injured himself, Arcangelo needed his bodyguard now more than ever. For the first time in his life, however, Nic needed something greater than he needed to follow orders. He knew it was unlikely that he would be able to directly disobey. Wallace would have to give him the permission.

His contract holder had been studying his face carefully. There was no way he couldn’t see how distressed your absence was making his friend. He sighed and signed, “ _I’m not going to order you to stay with me, Nic…not this time_.” Brown heaved a great sigh of relief. “ _But I am ordering you not to get yourself killed in the next three days, do you understand me, bastard? Three days for me to get the ball rolling here and then you come back, got it?_ ”

Nicolas nodded. It was more than generous and an offer he never would have believed Worick would have made in the past. Nic was beyond grateful that his love for you was clear enough to Worick, and that he could no longer question whether Worick truly was his friend—he wanted Nic’s happiness if there was even a small, short-lived chance at it.

As Nico was about to turn to leave, Wallace hugged him tightly and when he pulled away, Nic’s eyebrows furrowed and he gave him his best look of annoyance. “I’m serious, Nicolas,” he could tell his friend was speaking softly. “Three days. Don’t you die over this…I won’t forgive you, remember? You still owe me.” His face was lined with deep anxiety as he spoke. “Three days to get her and get back here. Understand?”

Nico nodded again and clapped a hand to Worick’s shoulder. “ _Be careful, Worick. Don’t do anything too stupid,_ ” he signed.

“You know me,” the tall blonde grinned.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” the dark eyed man said before they parted ways. Both men looked back at one another in case it was the last time these brothers would ever meet.

= = = 

Chad had given Nic the instructions on how to reach your childhood estate in South Gate, but the going was much more difficult than he’d originally anticipated. His leg was nowhere near healed. It ached almost unbearably and was beginning to give out on him. He still had no sword and so he used a piece of wood that he’d found as a makeshift crutch. It still wasn’t enough. He would never reach you at this point. There was only one viable option.

He popped the lid off one of the syringes and plunged it into his arm. He had about twelve minutes to get as close to your former house as possible without being detected and he would need to take a second dose to push through and get you out. His heart would likely give out. He had promised Worick, but his urge to see you safe one last time overpowered every other thought in his mind.

As he raced easily towards you without a hint of his previous pain, he tried to come up with a concrete plan. When he began to sweat and feel dizzy, he stopped running. It was near the end of his allotted time. He needed a short break before the next injection. Finding an abandoned alleyway, he stopped to catch his breath. He sat down momentarily, trying to contain his trembling. Nic pulled out the next needle and popped its top.

Suddenly, a white shoe came down on his hand, crushing it, the needle, and its contents against the ground. Looking up with shock etched on his face, he saw Ivan, Monroe, and Erica again—here in his moment of greatest weakness. He hadn’t even been aware he was followed. He had been surprised he hadn’t been disposed of the last time he encountered the trio, and it seemed now that perhaps they’d been waiting for this very trap. Prepared to accept his fate, he groaned as Danny crouched in front of him.

“I really thought the looks on your betrayed faces would have been enough revenge on you for coming after the family compound so long ago, Nicolas, but it seems I need to use your services one more time. I get a hell of a cut just to sell you to that girl’s mother,” Danny said calmly and with the same look on his face as ever…as if nothing had transpired between them. 

“It seems she really wants to make her daughter suffer, and she was willing to pay big for secrets,” Monroe commented as he lit a cigarette. “When I told her I could get you here by burning down that damn boarding house, she certainly upped the price. You know I never pass up a good deal, Nicky.”

The Twilight groaned again, wishing to end the man in front of him, but his vision began growing dark. “You were a good kid, Nic. You really were. Too bad you have that little revolting unacceptability in your blood…”

Before he was completely out, Nic felt himself heaved upward by his arms.

= = = 

When he came to again, he had no idea where he was. He noticed that he was on a hospital bed and hooked up to several machines and a few bags of unknown liquid. The badly injured Twilight felt wrecked. He was restrained, though he didn’t think it would make much difference if he hadn’t been. Nic felt absolutely no strength to move. He was dizzy and aching everywhere; it was easy enough to tell that he was in the beginning stages of Celebrer withdrawal.

As he moved to look around, a blinding white pain flashed through his head. He groaned and suddenly there were two large men he didn’t recognize standing above him. One mouthed, “Go get her,” and his counterpart disappeared a few minutes before returning with an older woman.

Something was familiar about her (e/c) eyes. The harder he stared, he recognized that they were the same as yours, but full of hatred. This must be your monstrous mother Chad had warned him about. He wanted to grab her by the throat and demand to know where she was keeping you, but he couldn’t lift his fingers.

She smiled repulsively and asked, “How are you feeling now, beast? Like death, I trust.”

She explained that he had been deprived of his drugs and that they would continue to torture him thus, not giving him an opportunity to retaliate. It was clear she had much experience subduing Tags while she spoke of the varying doses and times it would take to bring him to different levels of discomfort. “If you thought I’d let you walk in here and waltz out with my daughter when she hasn’t had the punishment she deserves, you’re a fool.” 

Nic clenched his jaw, still wishing he could find the momentum to destroy your mother.

“You don’t like that, do you, dog? Go ahead. Do something about it,” she dared as she leaned in closely to him. He tried to force his hand to her neck, but nothing happened. His fingers barely twitched. She laughed hysterically and then said to one of her guards, “Put him out again.” 

Nicolas met with total darkness once more.

= = = 

He wasn’t sure how often he was conscious or how long he’d been in that hospital bed. It was clear that he was having nightmares, hallucinations, and dreams, but it was becoming more and more difficult to distinguish the reality of his situation. More than once, he longed to just drift away in the middle of the nicer dreams, ending his life with a smile on his face. There were at least two visions that Nic wanted never to leave.

> In the first, he was home in his bed, no idea how he’d gotten there. Walking out of the bedroom, he found you standing at the counter, leaning over waiting impatiently for a pot of coffee. You drummed your fingers on one of the two mugs and he thought you looked especially beautiful in the golden morning light, again wearing nothing but his black shirt.
> 
> Turning your (e/c) eyes to his darkest browns, you pouted and then signed, “I was trying to get it made before you got up for once. No one ever makes it awake before you, Brown.”
> 
> He shrugged as he continued walking towards you and when he was close enough, you wrapped your arms around his neck and offered him a kiss. He wasn’t shy in accepting it and his own hands slid from your hips to your rear and then up to your back to rest.
> 
> When you pulled away, you grinned and said, “Good morning, love.”
> 
> Nicolas couldn’t contain the grin of his own that word plastered on his face. Nothing had ever looked as good as those words coming off your lips. He breathed a deep, contented sigh and lifted you up by the thighs, wrapping smooth legs around his waist before taking you to the newest chair in the living room…savoring your hungry kisses every step of the way.

That was it. That was the life he wanted. He wanted that opportunity for normalcy—for waking with the woman he loved every day. When he woke from that dream still in the lab, he was crushed that it hadn’t been reality.

After many more unpleasant hallucinations of everyone he loved suffering and every ghost he’d caused haunting him…torturing him…another dream occurred that Nic didn’t want to leave. Certain this time, even in sleep, that it couldn’t be real, he actually prayed he would die there…giving him a chance to stay forever with the family he’d always wanted.

> Worick and Alex were together in a beautiful home and it was his friend’s birthday. Nicolas sat on a couch relaxing while his best friend and his friend’s love sat at a piano bench nearby. Worick looked several years older, but as content as Nicolas had ever seen him as an older Alex finished singing a song just for him. 
> 
> In the dream, Nicolas felt no urgency of greater threat…no hauntings from his father or the other devils from his past…only peace and joy. He watched Worick shout something he couldn’t read and after a few seconds, two small boys ran into the room laughing.
> 
> Nic felt frozen in time. The first boy looked like the spitting image of Wallace in the face, though he couldn’t have been more than seven or eight and he had black hair and darker skin…like his mother. He gleefully climbed between Alex and Worick on the piano bench. Alex leaned back so Nico could see her and she said, “Time to sing the birthday song!”
> 
> Nic shook his head no, until he felt the smaller of the two boys climb into his lap. He became completely overwhelmed, certain this was a dream he would never be allowed to keep, as he stared at the curious little face. It was clear this one was his and that his mother must have a familiar pair of (e/c) eyes. The child…Nico’s son…smiled up at him.
> 
> “ _You don’t have to sing, papa. I’ll sing extra loud for both of us!_ ” he signed. Nicolas felt he would do anything for this moment to be real…except…
> 
> “ _Where’s your mother?_ ” he signed to his son. Nicolas was prepared for the worst, even in his own dream. The little boy lifted a chubby finger and pointed to the entryway. You stood there laughing at something Worick had said and there was a small (h/c)-haired baby in a pink blanket, swaddled comfortably against your chest.
> 
> Nicolas couldn’t stand it…it was too real…he wanted to stay and knew he couldn’t. Tears began to trickle down his face uncontrollably.
> 
> “ _Don’t cry about it, dad! Mom says I have a really loud singing voice!_ ” he signed perfectly.
> 
> Nicolas wiped his face and laughed at the familiar mischievous grin on his son’s face. He watched as the two boys stood in the middle of the room and shouted the birthday song between fits of laughter. The baby you held stirred and he walked to your side, kissing you both.

Things began to grow blurry and dark and Nic begged with whoever was in charge of dreaming to leave him there. It was no use. He was waking painfully.

= = = 

The next time he came to, he felt a little more able to move but not much. Slowly, he looked around the room for your mother and an opportunity to get out of this white room. He saw only one guard and closed his eyes again for a few moments.

Suddenly he felt the IV line rip from his vein and his eyes flew open rapidly. Nicolas tried to reach for the large guard that was the culprit to his agony, but he was simply too weakened. The size difference between the two easily allowed the man to force the Tag to his bare feet. The concrete floor was cold against his skin. Nicolas grimaced in pain and wanted to sit back down, but the guard held him under his arms in an upright position. 

Nic’s eyes felt heavy and dull as they looked around the room, searching for the reason he was being forced to stand, until they fell on a familiar pair of worried (e/c) eyes. He blinked several times, trying to clear away his haze and make sure this wasn’t some cruel hallucination.

He watched those perfect lips of yours mouth, “Nicolas.” His eyes widened as he realized he was really in this room, and that this time you weren’t a dream. He was so close to having you with him again. He tried to take a step towards you, only to have his knees buckle from too much time forced into that bed with no Celebrer.

As your mother laid into you about something, his eyes cleared more, and he felt his anger blazing hot as he saw the state you were in. You were filthy, injured, frightened, and worst of all, looking at him as if he was the one that needed the saving. Suddenly, Nic was being dragged out of the room by the large guard until he was deposited roughly into a small cell and the door was slammed shut. 

He took a moment to relish the feeling of being against the floor, not trying to bear weight on his leg. Looking up, he saw they had, for some reason, left him in the same cell as you. As quickly as he noticed, he passed out again.

Still having no concept of how long he was out, he felt someone shaking him by the shoulders. Gasping, Nicolas sat up rapidly. When he saw you, he was so overjoyed, he grabbed you into his arms…the first time he’d found strength enough to move them more than an inch, and a choked off cry of relief escaped his throat. When you pushed him away, he felt completely shattered. It was clear that you had suffered much since the last time he’d been with you, and it was foolish of him to expect you to still want him—not when he had failed you so.

When you signed to him the reason you had pushed him away, relief flooded his thoughts. Still, he ached at not being able to hold you. He never thought he’d be at a place in his life where it actually pained him not to touch someone. Nic didn’t know how much longer he would last at the rate his body had been pushed the last few days. He wanted to tell you that he would help you through this, but he couldn’t. He didn’t even believe that he’d be able to follow Worick’s orders to return alive.

For once in his life, Nicolas wanted to be completely selfish. If these were his last hours, surely it wasn’t too much to ask. He didn’t want to continue much longer after everything that had happened in Ergastulum. He wanted your safety ensured, but he needed you to give him that hope you’d offered him before. He needed to feel important…worthy…loved. He didn’t want to die feeling this pit of uselessness. Nicolas knew this was the time to tell you what you meant to him.

“ _I love you, (f/n),_ ” he signed. The confusion on your face worried him. He realized it didn’t matter if it were no longer true, Nico still needed you to say the words. 

As he completed signing, “ _…I need this, even if you have to lie to me,_ ” you reached for him. His hope ignited again.  
 _  
“…Just give me something, (f/n). I need you to love me. Tell me you love me,_ ” he finished signing as the lights shut off and blackened the cell.

Nicolas was trapped now. There was nothing for him as the guards restrained both of you. He wouldn’t know how you felt towards him before he lost this battle. He could feel himself slipping into the shaking sensations he couldn’t control. The flashlight flickering directly into his eyes triggered a seizure and he lost control of everything he’d been trying to cling to before he was gone.

 

**To Be Continued…**


	15. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader-chan has a little present for mommy dearest. Nearing the end of the story now. Only two chapters to go.
> 
> Links to the first 2 parts and the previous 2:  
> [Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322)   
> [Part 2](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556936375)   
> then  
> [Part 13](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/561934672)   
> [Part 14](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/563295146) 
> 
> Comments are my life-force. Knowing people appreciated or liked reading my story makes my day totally awesome and fuels my need to write more often. Lol.
> 
> *Cover image is by [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com) Take a look at her galleries and give her some love!*  
> [Just You And Me](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556727518) 

_Every part of you ached, body and soul.  You were more than ready for the end of this. His head lay unmoving in your lap, and though it served no purpose now, you wiped the blood from his face the best you could.  You held tightly to Nic’s limp hand, until he was pulled away from you.  Thick tears poured from your eyes, blurring your vision._

********

By the time your mother’s guards had moved you and Nicolas upstairs to the living room, you were beginning to lose faith. 

Back to back, your hands were restrained in such a way that you could feel the warmth coming from his fingers, but nothing more. Even leaning back as far as you were able, the crowns of your heads barely touched.  That in itself was torture, but you knew your mother had far worse in mind.

You wanted one thing only, but you were certain she wouldn’t allow it.  You wanted to tell Nicolas that you were in love with him just once.  You needed him to know…to see it in your own words.  Unfortunately, your mother had made it clear that she was approaching her endgame as far as Nic was concerned.

The cruel woman, who should have been responsible for showing you the meaning of unconditional love, stood before you now with a loaded pistol and sadistic grin.  Certain that you and your Tag companion were properly restrained, your mother dismissed her guards.  She wanted to revel in this particular bit of your suffering without the prying eyes of others.

She laughed before coming to stand in front of you, staring at you with the very same (e/c) eyes you had inherited from her.  Except hers were cold…distant…different in the fact that, though you were her own flesh and blood, she held no love for you and had barely showed you any compassion in all the time she had been your mother.  You felt that even your father seemed to have loved you in his sick and twisted mind.  At least, he seemed to have loved what he was able to turn you into before you killed him.  This woman, however, every kind emotion from her had been faked.

“Your father would be so disappointed to find where you are now, (f/n),” she sneered at you.

“I was born disappointing, mother.  I’m not sure the point you’re trying to make with that now,” you scoffed.

She laughed a bit before adding, “I never wanted a child, you know?  That was all your father.  He thought having an heir would be something he and I could bond over…a legacy we could create together.”

Moving your head to the side with the cold barrel of the gun, she said, “We did bond, I suppose…over what a disturbing brat you were.  He was always coming up with brilliant ways to mold you into someone acceptable.  I really can’t fathom how a Normal with your mentality lived so long in this world.”

She sighed as she pushed Nico, checking if he was still awake.  “He and I would have so much to talk about seeing you in love with an animal.  My God, how disgusted he must be!”  
You tried again to reach Nic’s hands behind yours, but it was to no avail.  Instead, you heard his breathing becoming labored once more and knew he was dangerously close to the end.  If he seized now, your mother would do nothing to stop it. He would die there just out of your reach.

“What do you want me to say, mother?” you asked coolly.

Your mother spared another glance towards Nico, as your eyes widened upon noticing his breathing had stopped.  “He’s out again.  I do hope he doesn’t die before I get the chance to kill him.”

You began rocking hard in your chair. “Get up, Nic!  Wake up, damn it!”

She laughed at you and kicked your legs. “Calm down.  Calm down, you fool.  It was only for a moment.  He’s stirring already,” she added.  Giving you an amused stare, she asked, “Why do you shout?  He can’t hear you.”

The truth was, you didn’t know.  The shouting was as futile as the whole situation, but there was a small part of you that foolishly thought if you could just scream loud enough, he would hear you.  Logically, you knew he was deaf, but in this hopeless moment, all logic was lost to you.  A tear dripped down your cheek as you realized how useless you truly were and how alone Nic must have felt dying in that silence.

“What I find truly remarkable,” she started, “is that you’ve somehow trained this one to believe it knows what love is.”

“Shut the hell up!” you yelled.  “Don’t talk about him like he’s the animal.  You are the one who has no idea what it means to love someone!”

She backhanded you hard across your face, leaving a cut from her ring.  “You’re wrong!  I do know what love is and you killed mine.  You killed your own father, so don’t pretend you’ve suddenly learned the meaning of love either, (f/n)!”

“Unbelievable!” you shouted again.  “I’m glad you never loved me!  God only knows what type of person I would be if you had shown me real encouragement and affection!”  You could tell your mother was furious and her patience with you was at its breaking point.  “I never would have found my true family in Ergastulum!  I never would have felt how good love can be.  I’d probably be a heartless shell just like you and my psychotic father!”

“Enough!” she bellowed.  “That’s enough, you ungrateful fucking bitch.  I hate you! How dare you leave this home and build a life for yourself after taking everything from me!  You make my stomach churn.”  She smiled at you as she continued, “But all of that is about to change.  I will destroy everything you love starting with this revolting beast.”  She grimaced as she gestured to Nicolas.

“I will make sure that anyone with a kind word to say about you is tortured and murdered, and nobody will give a damn!  Do you understand that, you repulsive mistake?”  She momentarily lost her temper completely and smacked you several times about the head until something popped, and your right ear began to trickle blood.  She tried to compose herself and smoothed her hair a bit before moving to the other side of your restraints.

Though you could no longer see her, you knew your mother was in front of him again.  Slowly, deliberately, she called to you, “After he’s dead, I’ll leave him on the floor by you so you won’t be alone as you rot away, (f/n).”

“Don’t.  Mother, do whatever you want, just don’t kill him like this,” you begged.  In your desperation, you thought you caught the familiar scent of Pall Mall.

She ignored you completely, addressing Nicolas with total disdain.  “Any last words for my daughter, Disgusting Beast?  Apologies for existing, perhaps?”

“(F/n),” Nico began.  His words were even more strained and broken than normal and were barely loud enough for you to understand.  “Thank you for making me believe I could deserve you.”

“Nic, don’t!” you shouted.  “I don’t deserve you!”  The fact that you knew he’d received no such response from you ripped at your heart.

“Thank you for making me feel you might love me one day,” he continued.

Knowing that he couldn’t hear you had never been more painful.  There was nothing else you could do but scream out.  At least you mother would have to listen to the truth.  “I do! Nicolas!  I do love you!  Damn it! Lemme go, you bitch!” you screeched. 

Rocking your chair forcefully and trying to break free, you listened in agony as your love spoke more treasured words that you couldn’t reciprocate, “I love you.  I’m sorry for the time I wasted to tell you…I love you.”

You were sobbing loudly and repeating “I love you,” again and again as you prayed for some kind of release from this torture.

“Enough of these filthy words, Monster!” your mother sneered before you heard her spit on Nicolas.  She moved to stand at the side once more, and you continued struggling as the loud sobs wracked your body. 

She moved her arm up and you knew her pistol was against Nic’s head.  In the space of a second, so much happened that you barely had time to think.

“Hello, darlings!” came Worick’s smooth, calm voice.  Two gun shots rang out, blood splattered everywhere, a scream from your mother, and one from you as pain seared through your shoulder.  Your tall, eye-patched savior had your mother on the ground and his gun to her temple.

“Worick!” you shouted.  “Worick, don’t!”  The blonde snapped his head to you, blue eye looking more wicked than you had ever seen it.  “Please!” you continued.  “I have to do it.  I have to be the one to kill her.  She’s tortured me my whole life.  Please don’t take that from me, Ricky.”

Using his nickname seemed to snap him out of his moment of rage, though he didn’t waste the opportunity to smash your mother’s face to the floor, before restraining her hands and legs.  “For you, (nickname)-chan, anything.”

As he began untying you he said solemnly, “If you can’t do it, I won’t hesitate to end her, (f/n).”  You nodded as you were freed.

Immediately you rushed out of the chair to Nic.  You nearly tripped as you came to rest on your knees before him.  His form was lifeless, his face spattered with blood.  You checked him for a bullet wound as Worick released him and lay him out carefully on the ground.  Your frantic (e/c) eyes found none, but he wasn’t moving.  He wasn’t breathing.  Pressing your left ear to his chest, you heard nothing.

“No!” you shouted.  “Don’t you dare, Nicolas!”  Quickly, his contract holder plunged a needle into his arm.  There was a sharp gasp and his chest began to move up and down sporadically, but he didn’t wake up.

“It wasn’t enough to wake him, (f/n).  He’s too far gone.  We have to get him out of here once his breathing is stable,” Worick told you.

Suddenly, you were reminded with intense pain that you had been shot.  As you groaned, you sat back clutching the top of your left shoulder.

“Damn it.  I’m sorry, (nickname)-chan!” the handsome blonde added as he checked your wound.  “I shot your mother’s hand before she could kill Nico, but she’d already pulled her trigger.  The bullet must have gone into you as her gun flipped free.”

You grimaced as he used a sleeve he tore off of his shirt to wrap tightly around the injury.  The bullet hadn’t made a clean exit, but there wasn’t time to worry about that now.  You would gladly have traded much more for the sake of your love.  “Nic’s alive.  This is nothing,” you smiled up at him weakly.

“Atta girl,” he said as he placed a comforting kiss to your forehead.  Then he winked as he added, “You owe me a new shirt.”

“What?” you said incredulously.  “You got me shot in the shoulder!”

“You mean, ‘I can’t believe you trekked all the way out here just to save my sweet ass,’” he gave you his killer crooked smile.

“Fair enough.  Thank you, my dashing hero.”  You allowed yourself a chuckle.   
Worick’s face changed to concern as he wiped away the blood that was drying on your jaw that had dripped from your ear.  You noticed for the first time that everything sounded like a faint buzz on that side of your head.  Leaning down to Nicolas, you kissed his unconscious form briefly, whispering, “Let me take care of the loose ends.”

Standing from the floor, you walked over to where your mother’s gun had landed and retrieved it.  You were thankful that you had at least been shot in the left shoulder.  Touching a finger to the cut on your cheek and the remaining blood at your ear, your face grew hot as you prepared to face your mother.  Walking over to where she was restrained on the floor, you noticed her bleeding hand where she had been shot.  There was absolutely no sympathy in your heart for her.  You grabbed her by the shirt and slammed her forcefully to the wall, aiming the gun at her head. 

You were breathing heavily after the excitement of the last few minutes and you hesitated as you looked at the hateful beast of a woman in front of you.

She scoffed and gave you that evil smile of hers.  “This makes you the same as me…except I’m a human.  I only ever killed Tags.  Where’s your moral high ground now?”

You laughed lightly.  “You stole it from me when I was seven years old.  It died with Lettie, and it’s never coming back…but I’m ok with that.  Because all of your lies and hatred are about to die with you, and I’ll still have my redemption with that man over there.  You’ll be dead and silenced, and I’ll be free to love him the way he deserves.”  You closed your eyes for a moment and imagined finally telling Nic how you felt.

“He’s dead.  I shot him.  I saw the blood,” your mother replied.  Her words were flustered as she realized her failure.

“That was the blood from your own hand, idiot.  You missed him.  Your bullet got me instead,” you added, motioning to the injury with the pistol.  You couldn’t help but grin at the look of defeat on her face.  It felt so good after everything she had put you through.  “Now,” you responded as you pointed the gun back to her face, “Where were we?  Isn’t this how you taught me to aim it, mommy dear?”

Desperately she cried out, “Have you no more mercy?”

You were utterly disgusted by her gall.  All of the times in your life that she had denied you and every Twilight victim any hint of mercy came rushing back to you, and the fury began to bubble inside your breast.  You wanted to end her in the worst way possible, quickly running through countless scenarios that involved her suffering greatly until her dying breath.

Your parents had claimed they didn’t want you to become an animal like the Twilight community, but they had treated you as a pet from the start…and not even a well-liked pet.  If you were behaved, you were rewarded with attention and affection.  Otherwise, there was an endless parade of others taking care of you from the time you were a baby so that your parents wouldn’t have to deal with their child themselves.  The only people to ever show you any compassion or love in your childhood had been the Twilight slaves that cared for you when your parents were off socializing and increasing their status in the community.

Your hatred of this woman was quickly beginning to consume you completely, but then you thought of your real family.  The family you had spent the last several years choosing for yourself.  Chad, the father figure you had so desperately needed in your life, a protective man who was always concerned with your very best interests.  Theo and Nina, the siblings you had chosen for yourself.  The three of you watched out for one another, teased, comforted, and stuck with each other through the good and the bad.  Theo was the know-it-all big brother, always checking on his two adoptive kid sisters, and Nina was the precious baby sister neither of you had ever had.  She brightened the day and knew just how to bring a smile to your face whether you were already happy or had a day that had left you feeling completely crushed.  You cherished them and protected your bond with those three people at all costs…and they did the same for you.

Over the last several months, you had added two new members to the family of your choice.  The men of Benriya had both built a special place in your heart and you would do anything for them.  You loved them, just as fiercely as you loved your whole little misfit family…but with Nicolas it had blossomed into much, much more. 

You wanted to be with Nic.  You wanted to make him feel like the man you knew he truly was.  You needed to give him all the love that you had been waiting to share—to make him understand that he wasn’t an animal, he was the man that you loved; the one with whom you longed to share your life. 

You didn’t want to start that on a foundation built from so much rage and hatred, and so you would forgive your mother her heinous deeds and offer her mercy here at the end.

“I’ll ignore how absurd a question that is for you to ask of me.  This is my mercy.  Killing you here, myself, one shot to the head.  Don’t mistake it for cruelty.  You’ve shown me throughout my life that there are much worse fates I could offer you.  Do you see that man?” you asked her as you pointed to the large form cradling your love’s head on the floor. Briefly, your heart fluttered to see him showing so much love and concern for his brother.  “That’s Worick.  He is that Twilight’s contract holder.”

“A private contract holder?”  You knew what she was thinking.  That wasn’t supposed to be possible anymore.  It was unusual, to say the least.  As far as you knew, Arcangelo was the only Normal left who was still allowed to privately hold a contract in Ergastulum.

“Yes, and it’s much more than that,” you said, tilting your head and smiling softly as Worick patted Nic’s cheeks, mouthing ‘C’mon, buddy. Don’t leave us.’  Despite being 6 feet tall, he looked like a small child trying to rouse his friend.  You looked back at your mother and waited to see her features show the shock of how deeply that Normal cared for his Tag.  It came to her with a horrified expression, and you felt such a deep satisfaction.

She could see now, right in front of her that you were not the only Normal who would fight to protect Twilights you loved.

“If I leave you to him,” you started, “there will be no mercy…no end to your suffering for what you’ve done.  He will not be kind to the one who left his brother in that state. I’m sure you know from your inquiries about me what kind of men these Benriya are.  More than ever before, Worick has nothing to lose.  Understand?”

Her face was frozen in fear.  She knew for certain that her only options were death now.

“I doubt I can hear you, since you damaged this ear, but do you have anything else you want to say to me before I kill you, mother?  An apology for existing this long, perhaps?”

She opened her mouth and managed, “I—“

A loud shot echoed through the room and her body fell to the floor, blood pooling around her the same as it had for your father.  The spreading crimson seemed to spread liberation throughout your body.

“Oops,” you said coldly.  “My finger slipped.”  Dropping the gun, you walked back over to the Handymen.

You sat a few minutes, cradling Nico’s head as his partner readied him to go.  You were lost in thought, imagining a future it might be possible to have, when Worick finally told you that it was time to move.  Absolutely prepared to leave this place behind forever, you brushed hair away from your face. 

Every part of you ached, body and soul.  You were more than ready for the end of this.  His head lay unmoving in your lap, and though it served no purpose now, you wiped the blood from his face the best you could.  You held tightly to Nic’s limp hand, until he was pulled away from you.  Thick tears poured from your eyes, blurring your vision.

They were tears of relief.

Worick carried Nic over his shoulder, trying not to struggle under the dead weight.  You walked past your dead mother, not sparring her another glance.  Through the foyer you passed the dead bodyguard’s that Worick had easily disposed of, and then you were out the front door of this torturous childhood home.

You only had to make it to your real home now…back to Ergastulum.  Your parents were now ghosts that couldn’t harm you.  Your mind felt freer with each step closer to Theo’s clinic.  He would fix you.  He would heal Nicolas.  You would build a new, free life for yourself. 

There was only one thing left for you to do.

You had to tell Nicolas Brown how much you were in love with him.

 

To Be Continued…


	16. ThatGingahNinja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Lord! **hides face waiting for embarrassment**
> 
> I feel like I couldn't get this just right. That's why it took me longer. I knew it would be the last real chapter (though there will be a lemon chapter with a special little bonus ending. Again, because of reasons!) Thankfully, [jolibrix](http://jolibrix.deviantart.com) gave me the push I needed to just get on with it. Lol.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this. I hope you enjoyed the whole story. I've really enjoyed sharing it! ^_^ Thanks for taking time to read it.
> 
> Here are links to the first two chapters and the previous two chapters. The rest are in the Gangsta. gallery:  
> [Part 1](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556530322)   
> [Part 2](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556936375)   
> [Part 14](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/563295146)   
> [Part 15](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/564980609) 
> 
> [](http://happy-gurl.deviantart.com/art/Love-in-the-Air-436214291) As always, Comments make my heart go pitter-patter! [](http://a-kid-at-heart.deviantart.com/art/Spread-More-Love-Emote-PLZ-208412044) 
> 
> *Cover image is by the most loverly [Mangsney](http://mangsney.deviantart.com) Be sure to give her galleries a look*  
> [Just You And Me](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/556727518) 

_One final hallucination before I die_ , thought Nico as he opened his eyes and found himself in Theo’s clinic holding Nina’s small hand as he had so many times before. 

Then again, if this was a hallucination, the pain he was experiencing was quite vivid and realistic. His body was sore from top to bottom. Even his eyelids ached to keep open. He was a little afraid that if he closed them again, his life would be over, but he had no choice. His lids were too heavy, the pain too overwhelming. They shut again without his consent.

The next time he was able to force them open, he thought maybe he wasn’t imagining things, but quickly shrugged it off. There was no way he could have survived a gunshot to the head. The view certainly wasn’t how he imagined the afterlife, however. Instead of Nina holding his hand, he now saw Worick asleep in a chair with his feet propped on the end of Nic’s bed. Behind his friend, Alex lay on the next clinic bed over, eyes closed while she soothingly stroked Worick’s long blonde locks.

Maybe this was real. Nicolas was still experiencing a significant amount of pain, but he didn’t want to wake his friends. He tried not to move or make any noise, but suddenly he saw Worick and Alex sit upright with a start.

“Nina-chan?” Worick exclaimed.

Nic turned his head slowly and saw the nurse standing there, blue eyes wide. An empty metal tray of medical instruments wobbled on the floor as the tools it contained were scattered about. Seeing her dearest Nico awake had surprised the young nurse so much that she had stopped in her tracks and dropped the tray carelessly to the ground.

“Ni-Nico!” she exclaimed as she threw her arms around his neck and squeezed. Nic groaned at the pain the contact caused and as she pulled back she began apologizing profusely. He shook his head that it was alright and again her sweet eyes grew like saucers. She stood from his side and burst out the door of the clinic, not even bothering to close it behind her.

The confused Tag watched her rush away before feeling a large hand gently on his bare shoulder. Turning, he caught the uncontainable grin on his best friend’s face.

“Morning, beautiful!” he said tauntingly.

“ _Idiot,_ ” Nic signed. The effort to sign was worth it once he saw the look of relief that washed over his contract holder’s face.

Knowing what information Nic wanted, Worick explained what had happened in the time he’d been out. This was the fourth day since he’d been rescued. Your mother was dead. Worick had left no one behind. Theo and Nina had been treating Nic continuously trying to get his strength and energy at least to a point where he could stay awake.

At the mention of the doctor, the man rolled over in his chair, gave the Twilight a quick check-up, nodded to Worick, and then gave Nic a disapproving stare. Pushing his glasses up, he said, “Don’t be so careless next time, stupid.” The Tag put his hand on his friend’s shoulder and the two men shared a knowing look. 

Theo huffed and replied, “You’re welcome,” before rolling back to his desk.

Looking to Worick again, he asked about you. His friend told him that you had been there with him, every day, every moment. Most of your wounds had been superficial and easily treatable. What you really needed was rest, but you refused. You had been afraid that Nic would wake while you were gone. Finally, after even Nina demanded you go to Inspector Adkins and sleep that morning, you had acquiesced. Worick lamented the fact that you would be ready with a big “I told you so,” once you arrived.

Nic was elated to know that you were safe and that both of you had made it back alive. He only needed you with him now. He didn't have to wait long.

Alex and Worick looked towards the door, Nicolas followed their gaze. He saw Nina moving out of the way as you flew to the door frame, looking in, out of breath, (e/c) eyes wide and hopeful…and beyond beautiful. The steps you made towards him felt agonizingly slow, and he wasn’t sure what he expected as he watched you standing over him. 

“Nicolas,” was all you managed to force out before you flung yourself next to him, burying your face against his chest. The force that you landed on him caused him to flinch slightly, but it was a pain he wanted more than anything else at that moment. Laying with nothing on his top half but bandages, it was easy for him to feel the hot tears pooling against his skin. Even without that, he would have been able to tell you were sobbing with the way your shoulders were shaking.

He smoothed the (h/c) hair that was all he could see and then slipped his hand under your buried face to lift your chin. When your tear-filled eyes met his, you began signing and mouthing, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” over and over again.

Nic shook his head and looked up to meet Worick’s stare. The two men said nothing to one another, but Worick knew exactly what his friend needed.

“Alright, everyone out for now! You too, Doc!” he said as he grabbed Theo out of his chair by the lab coat and pulled him towards the door.

“Forcing me out of my own clinic? I’ll have your heads for this, you two!” Nic watched Theo say. He shut his mouth as he really looked at the situation happening in that hospital bed. His eyes became softer and he said, “Though, I suppose I have been longing for a cigarette break.”

When everyone was out and the two of you were alone, Nico lifted your face again. This time the two of you stared at one another for a very long time, saying nothing, feeling the weight of what you had just been through and the relief of knowing you were still alive and back together at last. Nic was dying to hold you. He tugged your hand and urged you to climb fully onto the bed next to him, feeling such a peace as you molded your body next to his that his aches and pains didn't bother him.

He ran his hands through your hair absent-mindedly until you looked up at him once more. He was puzzled when you signed, “ _Why, Nic?_ ” He gave back a look to tell you he didn’t understand the question. His heart felt heavy as you continued, “ _Why are you still here with me? How could you want me, knowing what I’ve done?_ ”

“ _What you have done? That’s supposed to be my line. The things I have done should make me ashamed to even be near you. I don’t deserve you, (f/n),_ ” he signed.

“Nico!” 

“ _Stop. Let me finish. I don’t deserve you, but I need you. You make me forget who I have been. I told you before…I only need one thing. I know it’s too much to ask but I didn’t get your answer before._ ”

“I love you,” you said quickly, holding his face with your palms. “I love you so much.” Then you signed, “ _I tried to tell you right away, but she made sure I couldn’t. I love you, Nicolas and I can’t understand how you love me after everything that happened._ ”

The curtain pulled back and there stood Nico’s nosy best friend. “You two are ridiculous! Just kiss her already, Dr. Nic!”

“Worick! Get out!” both of you shouted. You stood from the bed and shoved the snooping man back out the front door. He grinned and waved as you slammed it in his face. You were shaking your head in amusement and your (e/c) eyes were actually shining for the moment. Nic smiled back at you.

As you sat down on the side of his hospital bed once more, your love signed, “ _He’s right,_ ” and gripped the front of your shirt, pulling you forward. You were centimeters from him and he felt the excited energy flowing between the pair of you as he said quietly, “Kiss me.”

He certainly didn’t need to ask twice. Your lips brushed gently against his and he felt the relief wash over him as you finally were able to be with him again. Nic softly returned the kiss, but not nearly long enough. Shortly, he broke away and groaned. He was still in enormous pain.

You looked worried and began apologizing. Offering to get the doctor, Nic shook his head. 

“ _Not yet,_ ” he signed.

Still looking uneasy, you hesitated as he motioned for you to lay back down beside him.

You shook your head. “ _It hurts you,_ ” you signed.

He narrowed his eyes and motioned again for you to lay with him. “Please,” he mouthed. He was thrilled he didn’t have to argue with you again. It was painful, but he wasn’t willing to have you anywhere else. This was the reason he’d come for you. He knew that just having you near would aid his healing process.   
“ _Stay with me,_ ” he signed and he relaxed as he felt you nod against his shoulder. Wrapping his arms gingerly around your frame, the two of you lay there until drifting off. Both of you rested easier than you had since this whole ordeal began.

The next time Nicolas opened his eyes, he was pleased to find you still asleep against him, and he enjoyed the fresh scent of your hair. Looking to his left, he spotted Nina standing with a pile of folded sheets looking as if she had just stumbled upon the most precious thing she’d ever seen. Her ‘big brother’ smirked and made a pinching motion towards her. The little nurse smiled and covered her nose, before heading to put away the linens.

Shortly after Dr. Theo woke you and had you move so that he could examine Nic once more. He told the pair of you that you’d both been sleeping like that for the better part of twelve hours. The Twilight smiled at the look of surprise on your face, finding you adorable. Theo informed Nic that he should be able to return home to continue resting and healing since all of his vitals appeared to be stable once more. He would place a call to Worick and have him come back to retrieve his battered bodyguard.

In no time, Arcangelo and Theo had Nico back to Benriya, helping him into his bed in the little storage space that had long been his room. You had followed closely and stayed as the other men dismissed themselves. You had a glass of water in your hands that you helped him drink, before setting it down and laying with him once more.

He was relieved to find how much better it felt to lay in his own bed with you than it had in the tiny clinic cot. He kissed your hair and you smiled up at him.

“ _How do you feel now?_ ” you signed.

He shrugged.

Looking at him anxiously, you signed, “Well _enough for a kiss?_ ”

Nic grinned as you placed both hands on either side of his face and kissed him tenderly and slowly with those absurdly beautiful lips of yours. For the first time, he concentrated on nothing but enjoying and feeling your mouth move with his. Your lips were soft and delicate and when you tugged lightly on his lower lip, he couldn’t help the groan that escaped. He had been longing to taste you again and it was all the invitation he needed to slip his tongue past your lips.

The way your tongue tangled with his was addictive and he wanted more. He carefully rolled the two of you so that he was above you and he pressed into the kiss, feeling the vibration as you moaned approval.

As things began to become more heated, you grabbed his shoulders and he sucked in a sharp hiss of air. There was still a stitched wound on the back of his left shoulder and the pain was intense. He sat up on the mattress and you quickly followed, apologizing profusely. 

“ _I’m sorry! I got carried away!_ ” you signed. He shook his head, though his face was still tensed in pain. 

Then he watched you sign his new greatest fear. “I should go.”

He wanted to tell you to stay, but if you thought it was best, who was he to stop you? Something uncontrollable was triggered and Nic began to feel like you would be leaving him behind forever. It was ridiculous and completely illogical, but somewhere his anxiety always seemed to inevitably take him. Anxiety was never logical to begin with. He could have told you what he was frightened of…that he was panicking, but instead he nodded his agreement and walked you to the door.

“ _Are you ok, Nico?_ ” you signed to him. He was certain his face was giving him away, but still he nodded. 

Watching you walk down the street, he realized what a fool he was being. 

He jogged to catch up to you and grabbed your wrist, turning you to face him.

“What is it?” you asked. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. His hands trembled slightly as he cupped your face and looked into those sweet (e/c) eyes of yours. The patient and curious look on your features helped him remember that you were on his side. You wouldn't accuse him of trying to 'act human.'

“ _I’m afraid._ ” 

You looked genuinely surprised but did not interrupt him. Still his hands trembled as he formed his signs, “ _I’m not sure I’m allowed to be afraid. I don’t think I’m supposed to have that emotion._ ”

You tried to move closer, but he stopped you, desperate to get it all out. It was something he never wanted to have to say again. Telling anyone his emotions was so out of his comfort zone that his heart was pounding, but this had to be said. You had to know. “ _I was terrified that I had lost you. I was afraid that I would never get to tell you that I loved you…or know whether you loved me. And now I’m scared that this isn’t forever._ ”

“Nic, what are you—“ you started.

“ _I never dreamed I would find this with someone. I—this is a terrible time to make a promise. The city is about to be at war and Worick and I will be in the middle of it. I can’t guarantee anything; not a house, not a family. I can’t even guarantee a long life together. Nothing…except that I want to spend whatever days left in this Twilight body with you, (f/n)(l/n)._ ”

Your eyes were wide and he thought they seemed misty but you said nothing.

“ _Please help me out here, (f/n). I’m starting to feel like an idiot,_ ” he signed.

” _You are an idiot,_ ” you motioned.

He frowned, his stomach in knots. “ _How could you possibly think I would want anything more?_ ” you questioned.

He gave you that signature mischievous grin and pulled you into a kiss, not caring about his injuries. He felt a new strength he had never had before. He knew then that he would find Guild members that could train him not to rely on overdosing for his power. He would become the strongest and the fastest. He and Worick would do whatever was necessary to make this shitty town worth living in, and he would not wish to end up like Veronica any longer. He needed every day he could squeeze out of his remaining years.

There was mercy in this life even for Nicolas Brown through love.

You needed him. You loved him. You were his.

 

 

**_Bonus Lemon Chapter..._ **


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warning* This is lemon for the sake of lemon, it doesn't necessarily advance the story if that's not your bag, so not reading it won't effect it overall. There is a section at the end that does imply some pretty happy stuff for Nic and Reader's future, but it's still not necessary if you don't enjoy smut. BUT if it is your cup of tea, I felt these characters most certainly deserved smut. Because, come on! So there.**

Another week of healing and Nicolas could wait for you no more. He begged you to stay with him, assuring you that he was alright. You could hardly say no when his kisses turned so much more sensual that night.

He had finally worked up the courage and if he could interest you, he was going to have you come hell or high water. His confidence led you straight into his lap in the arm chair he was resting in and the two of you wasted no time getting to the point.

As he drank you in hungrily with his lips, he pulled the shirt you were wearing over your head and tossed it behind the chair. You did the same with his, before reaching behind you to undo the clasp of your bra, which he slipped off and chucked with the rest. Nic broke your frenzied kissing, leaving the pair of you panting softly and you desperate for more.

Looking at him with confusion, you relaxed as his large fingers began to trace over your bare torso, eyes studying your body bared to him for the first time. The light warmth as his hands trailed over your back, waist, arms, and shoulders made something begin to tighten deep in your belly. By the time he reached your breast, you couldn’t help the quiet moan that escaped you. He hadn’t heard, but looking at him, you knew he had seen. He had been watching specifically for that movement of your body.

He gave you that devilish grin before leaning down to recapture your lips and keeping a hand concentrated on your chest. The way he felt kneading the flesh had you anxious for more room to enjoy yourselves.

This time it was you who broke the kiss, holding his face in both of your hands, making sure he could read your lips as you ordered, “Take me to bed, Nicolas Brown.”

With no effort whatsoever, he rose from the chair with you in his arms and carried you to his small bed. Eagerly, he lay you down and assaulted your neck and breasts with his kiss. His tongue circled one of your pert nipples before sucking it gently into his mouth, teasing the skin and making you breathless. A calloused hand made its way to the other breast, continuing its erotic massage. 

Alternating between the pair with an occasional nip at your flesh was driving you wild, that knot deep inside tightening even further. You couldn’t take it. You needed to touch him.

You pushed him over to his back and straddled his waist, leaning down to trail hot, sticky kisses down his muscled form. Nic groaned with pleasure and his hips rose instinctively. Scooting yourself down a bit, they rose again and you felt the stiffness beneath his pants. Your hands moved to the buckle of his belt, and you enjoyed the tinkling sound it made as you pulled it undone. Sliding him free of his trousers, and pulling yours off to add to the pile, you hovered over him again.

Even in his briefs, it was impossible to ignore the size of his erection and you readily ground down against him, hoping Nic could feel how damp you were already. Biting your shoulder tenderly, he flipped your positions and hovered over you instead. His hands seemed to tremble with excitement as he tugged you free of your panties.

You really wanted to know what his long fingers would feel like inside of you, but getting even to this point was a huge step outside of Nic’s comfort zone. You smiled, imagining that there would be plenty of time for that and anything else later. You had no intention of being with anyone besides Nicolas for the rest of your lives.

Using both of your hands, you pushed his underwear down his hips, and he rose slightly to remove them. Your eyes widened at the size of the man about to take you. It only increased you excitement, tightening that knot down again. Feeling the head of his erection pressing against your opening was almost too much…for both of you. Already, the pair of you could hardly contain your breathing.

Nicolas pushed himself into you gradually, bit by bit, inch by inch, both of you savoring the way that he stretched you and filled you. “Oh fuck,” you breathed before bucking upwards and sheathing him as deeply as the position would allow.

“Fuck,” Nic groaned in return, voice deep and full of desire.

He waited a moment, likely hoping not to lose himself in only his first few strokes, before slowly finding a rhythm that worked best for the two of you.

You wanted him to be able to hear all of the delicious sounds he was earning, but because he couldn’t you made sure to let him know with each squeeze to his muscles or nail down his skin. His sounds were driving you wild and you didn’t know that you’d be able to hold on for long either. You had wanted this too much for too great a time. Now that it was here, it felt like oxygen that you’d been deprived of for too long and you fought desperately to breathe it all in.

When he lifted your left leg across to rest on his left shoulder, you knew it was over. The way he hit your sweet spot from this angle left you unable to concentrate on anything but the sheer ecstasy of him pumping in and out of you. Deeper. Harder. Faster. 

As Nicolas let out another uncontrolled moan, the knot tightened again, before his motions pulled the string loose, unraveling it and you completely. Seeing you overcome, Nic managed only a few more thrusts before he reached his own climax, jutting into you with quick jerky movements. Finally, he collapsed at your side and pulled you to rest on top of him, both immensely satisfied with your first time together.

You lazily ran your fingers up and down his arms as your head rested on his broad chest and enjoyed the silence together, just feeling the gentle rise and fall from each set of lungs. After a long while, you felt Nic tap your shoulder and you looked up to his beautiful dark eyes.

He couldn’t resist another kiss before signing, “I love you, (f/n).”

“I love you, too,” you signed back, offering him a genuine smile.

Both of you fell asleep tangled together, with nightmares of evil ghosts of the past far, far away. It was the new beginning you each thought would never come.

********  
Waking at home in his bed, Nic had no idea how he’d gotten there. It took him a moment to adjust and realize what was happening. He was still getting used to having such long nights of uninterrupted sleep. He noticed that you were no longer in bed with him, which was unusual by now. Then he remembered what he wanted today. It had been a month since you had first been intimate with Nic and you had stayed almost every night since, but that wasn’t enough as far as he was concerned. He wanted to ask you to live there with him. 

Walking out of the bedroom, he found you standing at the counter, leaning over waiting impatiently for a pot of coffee. You drummed your fingers on one of the two mugs and he thought you looked especially beautiful in the golden morning light, again wearing nothing but his black shirt.

Turning your (e/c) eyes to his darkest browns, you pouted and then signed, “I was trying to get it made before you got up for once. No one ever makes it awake before you, Brown.”

He shrugged as he continued walking towards you and when he was close enough, you wrapped your arms around his neck and offered him a kiss. He wasn’t shy in accepting it and his own hands slid from your hips to your rear and then up to your back to rest.

When you pulled away, you grinned and said, “Good morning, love.”

Nicolas couldn’t contain the grin of his own that word plastered on his face. Nothing had ever looked as good as those words coming off your lips. 

There was something about this morning that was almost eerily familiar, though he couldn’t quite put his finger on what. 

Brushing off the tremendous sense of déjà vu, he breathed a deep, contented sigh and lifted you up by the thighs, wrapping smooth legs around his waist before taking you to the newest chair in the living room…savoring your hungry kisses every step of the way.

 

End.


End file.
